Jun 5, 2024
One of the devious things about internalized abelism is that if you hate yourself enough, you can never win
For example, I have so many things I want and need to do at home. Some of them are big, but most of them can be broken down to small stuff, things I can do on the way to other stuff.
But if I start to do the small things, a dozen tasks will spiral out of them and I will get stuck and not get what I want done.
If I ignore the tiny stuff to get bigger (and more basic stuff like eating) done, I feel lazy and a slob.
At the end of the day, even if I worked myself to exhaustion and a mental breakdown, I'll still have stuff I want to do I didn't. Because I hate myself for being different from abled people.