#but so wrong

[therealrjlupin]

u r beautiful 💕

Ah you're so sweet 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[mentallydatingahotcelebrity]

I’ve been emotionally compromised:

This is wrong and sad on so many levels (but I have to admit that I grinned at first) But the more I reread it... Aie someone just shoot me and end this misery.

[rawrzimon]

Me eating anything not a vegetable: I'm so excited for this decision I'm going to regret later.

[blushingkookie]

I’m head over heels for someone who’s almost 30 and doesn’t even know my name.. why am I like this?

[shiftyarchfey]

So what happened (in detail because this is kinda fucked up)

SO. Here I was, planning for the guys to try and rescure the mage who resurrrected them from the dead. He was abducted by some flesh golems. So far, so good.

They got this info from the dead servant girl of the mage, who lingers as a ghost. She pointed them to the right direction into the forest and so they went.

STRAIGHT into a drow-trap. Three drow and one Drider, whom they badly injured before the elven rogue/bard (played by @monaramis parlayed with him to get some info. Apparently strangers are not wanted in drow territory. As it happens, the Drider gets away. So they decide to take another path, one that was suppsoed to lead away from drow territory. Ok, that’s logical.

They were being watched and THIS ROGUE/BARD JUST STRAIGHT UP asked for them to come down, to see that it was another Drider. Ok. BUT THEN. THE ELF. STARTS. FLIRTING. and rolls what? You have three guesses and all of them would propably be correct because it’s a nAT 20. THE DROW BLUSHES LIKE HE’S IN A FRIGGIN SHOUJO-MANGA and tbh I have given up at this point. So yeah. Flirting it is. Let’s fucking flirt.

Yep. So after flirting, RIDING THE DRIDER LIKE A HORSE (he literally asked like, CAN I RIDE YOU? ROLLED HIGH ENOUGH and at this point I’m dead inside), they part ways. Very Dramatic™. Meanwhile, poor dragonborn cleric ( @acaranna) and aasimar death cleric/rogue ( @zanidragon) just don’t UNDERSTAND because neither of them speaks elven.

At night, the elf decides to SKIP HIS WATCH and meditate in the time he was supposed to WATCH OUT, so of course he gets kidnapped by a Drider. The same they fought and let get away earlier. Turns out he’s the brother of Llylt, the amorous Drider and they both have another sister, Nym. Tath, the kidnapping one, and Nym explain to Vehemens that he made Llylt dream of freedom from his cursed form and that’s BAD. At this point the others join and they still don’t get what the fuck is being talked about. 

After cat petting, bringing in Llylt to the discussion, the rogue/bard is moved by the story and decides to FIGHT LOLTH. FIGHT A GODDESS TO FREE HIS NEW BF. AT LEVEL 5. A GODDESS. WHO CURSES HER FOLLOWERS IF THEY DON’T SUCCEED IN HER TRIALS. WHAT.

So obviously, both clerics won’t have it. Time for smooches and another Very Dramatic™ parting of ways, they merrily continue in their designed path, fight a shield guardian (whom the dragonborn cleric smashes with his spiritual weapon in frustration because nothing really hit it and it can regenerate HP) and end this session on a rather... interesting note.

I have no idea how this all happened.

[sadiecoocoo]

Autocorrect have you been drinking again?

[akascow]

pete davidson being in taco bell ads is something that feels so right