POSSIBILITIES FOR IMMORTAL!JASKIER
The Picture of Julian Alfred Pankratz
dicked and ditched the wrong person; cursed to remain youthful until true love’s kiss, at which point he will start to age rapidly :(((
dick too good to die - he’s slept with quite a few gods/goddesses and they wanna keep him in prime shape
unknowingly stumbled on a fountain of youth when he was wandering through some woods one day; he has no idea and never thinks to connect his suspiciously youthful looks with that lovely bath that one time
is the personification of chaos just here for a gr8 time; this greatly pisses yennefer off when she finds out
he’s like a shark - if he stops moving he’ll die; can’t stay in one place for more than a few months before he starts looking a little ragged
only has one very specific weakness that no one has figured out yet
made a deal with death where they meet up once a year and jaskier has to entertain them with stories and hot goss for the entire night to renew his life subscription
simply refuses to acknowledge the authority of time
body took a screenshot when he sneezed with his eyes open once - he’s actually died many times but he just keeps returning to that biological save point
he is the Beginning of all things and he will be their End when he gets bored please keep him enriched
as long as there’s one person still singing his songs he keeps on kicking
he’s eaten so many açaí berries. so. many. all the berries. his immune system is jacked. any form of disease or deterioration even looks at him funny and they’re immediately consumed by antioxidants
imaginary friend geralt accidentally called into being because he was so lonely :(
blood of his enemies face masks
exchanged his self-preservation instincts for immortality; when he fills up his ‘almost died again’ punch card the universe gives him a free smoothie and ages him one month; the smoothie is worth it
literally gave away his heart in a small posada inn
cheated in a game of cards against the fates and buried his thread of life deep where no one will find it
destiny’s pawn that keeps trying to circumvent her plans and break free but everything he does is like a self-fulfilling prophecy straight from a greek tragedy :(
is actually ebony dark’ness dementia raven way and everybody is in love with me and why couldn’t satan have made me less beautiful?? im good at too many things! WHY CANT I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!
