May 9, 2018
let’s say, theoretically, one has a goal, and it’s a good goal, and reaching that goal will ultimately benefit oneself in many different ways. but the primary motivation to reach that goal is less than ideal, maybe a little unhealthy. the means of attaining said goal are still good, just the motivation is a little iffy. is the goal still healthy and worth striving for if the motivation is bad
#this is very vague I’m aware#I guess to be more specific:#working out! eating healthy! losing weight! good.#being motivated to do these things solely to impress... someone? probably bad.#there are many other benefits and reasons to do such things#but THAT is really my only genuine motivation#and I know it’s BAD and unhealthy to base my life and self image and all sorts of things on him#and I realize that even if I do change how I look there’s only a 2% chance he’ll even notice let alone care#but. yet.#I ran four miles tonight and I wish I could say it’s for myself but it’s for him and he won’t ever even care#111 days