#butnotsomuch

[runawayragdoll]

Can I travel the world but still somehow carry home with me?

[uswithoutwalls]

Sometimes I can be the best boyfriend ever. Don’t believe me? You have no clue. Romantic, cute, cheesy, you name it. I can take it overboard til everyone but you and I think we’re obnoxious.

But other times I’m not. I won’t call, or text, I’ll be busy. Sometimes I’m writing and I need to be alone, sometimes I’m zoning with music and I need to be alone, sometimes I’m in the woods, camping or backpacking or climbing. And I need to be alone. 

And sometimes, I’m surrounded by lots of people, and its one a.m. and even with all these people, I’m desperate not to feel so alone. 

But you don’t like the party’s do you? I see the look in your eyes when you smell the alcohol. I know how you feel when I’m strung out on the floor smiling at you, smelling like smoke. So you stay home, and I stop telling you where I am, or where I’m going. Or what I’m doing.

It’s like I have two worlds. The one you love and the one we fell in love in, the world where we are together and happy. I don’t want to lose that.

And then there’s the world of smoke and haze. Of liquid fire, and broken glass. Of dancing around a fire or running through a field half undressed. Of sweat and laughter and the rush of skin on skin.

So sometimes I’m the best, and I tell you I love you and I do sweet things to make you smile, and let you know I care.

And sometimes I sit alone at the party, trying not to partake in a feeling thats so much a part of who I am.

And now I wonder if I need to choose one world, and stay there, and sever my other half.

[kemeyeo]

Seeing those darn artistic posts.

When I'm in Tumblr and I be stalkin'. I see so many great drawings and art works. Then I look at my own and I feel like crying :'D I sob and tell myself .."one day.." 😒😩😐