#butt's butt

[attackmybutt]

Uhh... I think there's a scratch mark on my left buttocks.... how did I scratch myself there?

[stashberry]

 #butt arnett

[ericaaaaa]

The Life of an Athletic Swimsuit

When you first put on your never worn one-piece swimsuit, it will feel tight and magnificent. Okay, maybe a little too tight, but! You will swim faster! Or you will feel like it, at the very least. As the swimming weeks go by you'll finally check out your butt in the mirror and realize you've been sporting a butt's butt for a long time, but oh well! It will stretch out soon, right? Then on some unpredictable day a few months into your new suit, the ass will fall out. No joke, this is actually what it feels like. The part that used to cut across your bum will now allow for full coverage. This nicety will last a few more swims, at which point it will just feel like a saggy ass that slows you down. Then you'll notice the lycra starting to wear away at the neckline. A few swims later there's a nice worn-down point right at your nipple. That's when you realize this piece of crap swimsuit is falling to pieces just a few months after you started wearing it! EFF!

I learned my lesson on my last two suits - the first, a reversible number, lasted me from summer until late winter. The latter, a funky patterned one, fell apart within a few months. Reversible only from here on out, I say!

And purely for your enjoyment, some swimsuits that I won't be purchasing that I probably should:

Though I've never heard of this Splish brand until today, I gotta say it: knocking them outta the park.