MSBY BLACK JACKALS READ THIRST TWEETS ! (SAKUSA EDITION)
will probably make this a series. i just love this team so darn much *sigh*
[atsumu version] [hinata edition]
this fic features…
haikyuu timeskip!spoilers, highly suggestive content (as the title entails), inappropriate language, sus atsumu 🤨, genre: crack, some of these are actual tweets i found lol.
Set the scene: the MSBY quartet shuffle into frame, they each take their seat in front of the iconic blue backdrop. You hear Hinata and Bokuto exchanging lively words, Atsumu fixing his hair so it swooshes the right way, and Sakusa removing his face mask and handing it to their team’s pr manager who accompanied them to this shoot.
“Is one of us gonna say it or are we all gonna say it together?” Hinata asks, looking at his teammates.
“I think we should all say it,” Atsumu replies, to which Sakusa nods in agreement.
Bokuto claps his hands together, getting excited. “Let’s do this!”
- cut scene -
“Hi, we’re the MSBY Black Jackals and we’re here with Buzzfeed to read your thirst tweets!” They say in unison.
Bokuto makes a jazz hands gesture, “Sakusa Kiyoomi edition~” he sings, as Hinata bounces in his chair and Atsumu slaps Sakusa’s back in an attempt to hype up the outside hitter.
Sakusa sighs and lets out a defeated chuckle, “Lord, help me…”
- cut scene -
The crew tosses Sakusa a phone, he catches it easily and takes a deep breath before reading.
“I need MSBY’s #15 to bend that flexible hand inside my bussy. Please and thank you.”
Sakusa quirks a confused brow, “What’s a bussy?”
Atsumu snickers. Hinata smiles, “Well, at least we know Omi-kun isn’t chronically online.”
Bokuto puts an arm around Sakusa’s chair, knowing better than to drape it around him or else he’d throw a cold glare his way. “I told you to get on Tiktok, Omi.”
Sakusa rolls his eyes, “I am not getting that dancing app, Bokuto.”
Bokuto’s lips funnel into a pout, “Then how are you gonna learn the language of the people?”
“What, like bussy?”
Atsumu childishly laughs again. “Haha…bussy…”
Sakusa tsks, “Are you gonna tell me what it is already or what?”
Hinata sighs and puts his hands together, “I am sorry to tell you this, Omi-kun, but it means—“
“Butt pussy!” Atsumu blurts out, unable to hold it in any longer. “Like a boy’s pussy, Omi-Omi. Get it?”
Sakusa’s expression is one that makes it look like he was in physical pain, which he might as well be in at the moment. He side eyes Bokuto, “That’s the so-called language of your people?”
“It’s funnier when Miya isn’t combusting.”
Sakusa sighs, “I’m not using that word, let alone using my flexible wrists for it.” He says before he passes the phone to Hinata, who reads the next tweet:
“Dear Sakusa Kiyoomi, *taps mic and clears throat* NO LUBE, NO PROTECTION, ALL NIGHT, ALL DAY, FROM THE KITCHEN FLOOR TO THE BATHROOM SINK, FROM THE DINING TABLE TO THE BEDROOM—“
Hinata lowers the phone and says, “That’s it. That’s the tweet.”
Atsumu wolf whistles and Bokuto hoots while shaking his head. Hinata is biting his thumb, trying NOT to burst out in laughter.
Sakusa blinks once, twice, before speaking up. “That’s…wow that sounds filthy.”
Atsumu barks with laughter, “Literally!”
Sakusa’s eyes widen in horror, “The bathroom?? Seriously? I get the other places, but really? The dirty bath—“
Bokuto intervenes, “Woah woah there Omi, you get the other places?”
Hinata snickers, “You hiding your freaky side from us, Omi-kun?”
Sakusa groans, dragging his hands over his face. “Please, let’s not discuss this on Youtube dot com”. He recovers and clears his throat, looking right at the camera, “Make wise choices, censored user.”
Hinata passes the phone to Atsumu. The blond setter chuckles before he even reads it out loud, Sakusa already feels the dread awaiting him.
“It’s the broad shoulders and tiny waist and the compression sleeves and the undershirt and the butt and that neck and those curls and his eyes,” Atsumu reads through breathless laughter.
He turns the phone around so that his teammates can see the screen, “And then, they attached a screenshot from a manga that simply transcribes ‘cock sucking noises’!” He wheezes, nearly dropping the phone.
Bokuto’s mouth hangs open but no noise comes out as he struggles to catch his breath, leaning his weight into Atsumu who is just as equally—if not more—cracked than he is. Hinata is busy hiding his face with his hands as he laughs, nearly folding himself up from how far he’s leaning down from his seat. Sakusa is watching his teammates loss their minds as he begins to question his life choices that led him to this moment.
Sakusa sighs, “There will be no cock sucking noises, but thank you for the compliment.”
Atsumu begins to recover, “Oh man…” he wipes a tear, “Omi-Omi, stand up and let ‘em see that slutty waist of yours.”
Sakusa shoots Atsumu a deadly look. Bokuto cheers to encourage Sakusa, while Hinata can’t help but glance at Sakusa’s waist.
“Allow me to correct myself; there will be no cock sucking noises nor will there be any showing offs of the slutty waist.”
Atsumu and Bokuto boo, Sakusa rolls his eyes at their reaction. Hinata winks at the camera, “But there will be some slutty waists in next week’s Calvin Klein feature that Sakusa did.”
Sakusa hums, “Yeah, so save those thoughts until then.”
Atsumu passes the phone back to Bokuto, who mumbles: “C’mon give me a good one…”
Bokuto clears his throat, “Sakusa Kiyoomi might be an outside hitter for MSBY, but i need him to be an INSIDE HITTER for this pus—“, he turns to the camera, “They cut themselves off there.”
Sakusa winces at those words. Hinata laughs, “I like the play on words.”
Sakusa adjusts his posture, “That would be very painful, no?”
Atsumu clarifies, “I think that’s what they want, Omi-Omi.”
Bokuto rubs his chin in thought, “Sakusa hits spikes pretty hard…I can’t imagine how hard he could go inside user-san’s—“
Sakusa waves his hand panickedly, “Please don’t finish that sentence.” He glances at their pr manager, who—by some unexplainable miracle—hasn’t said anything so far.
Sakusa clears his throat, “Unless the pay is higher, I will not be changing my position to your inside hitter, sorry. Actually, I lied; I am not sorry.”
The phone gets passed back to Sakusa, “Sakusa Kiyoomi has 47 moles and I intend to suck each and every one of them off his body.”
Hinata giggles mischievously, “Miya-san, did you write that?”
“I DID NOT WRITE THAT!”
Bokuto cackles, “How else did the user know the exact amount of moles on Sakusa’s body? You’re the one that’s always staring at each of us in the locker room.”
“WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THAT NUMBER IS ACCURATE!!”
Sakusa speaks up calmly, “It is accurate, actually.”
Atsumu goes pale at his words, “O-oh okay…but that doesn’t mean I wrote it!!!”
Sakusa disguises a laugh as a cough, “As much as I love to pick on Miya—“
“HEY!”
“—I’m still impressed that the Twitter user got that number right. Bravo.” He then applauds. Bokuto and Hinata follow. “Maybe I’ll let you do what you said since you got it right.”
Hinata elbows Sakusa suggestively, to which Sakusa repels away from his touch, “Okayyy, Omi. Get it, I guess. Need me to find the user’s number?”
“No.” Sakusa says immediately, but he’s concealing a smirk. He passes the phone to the winking orange-head.
Hinata begins to read: “For Sakusa Kiyoomi, I would bathe in 99.9% disinfectant, drink that shit, even inject myself with it—if it meant getting a shot at bagging that man.”
Sakusa rolls his eyes, already huffing. “Look, I don’t know who started the rumor that I’m a crazy germaphobe, but let me sit the record straight now: I am not that deranged; I just like things to be clean and tidy.”
Bokuto nods, crossing his arms, “Yeah, you tell ‘em, Omi!”
Atsumu shakes his head in disappointment, “Ya guys keep making Omi-Omi sound like some freak. Yeah, he wears a mask everywhere and carries hand sanitizer wherever he goes, but that’s just basic hygiene standards. Do better.”
Hinata points at the camera with his chin up, “Yeah, the only time Omi-kun is a freak is when it’s in the sheets.”
“SHOYO!”
“HINATA, HEYYY!”
Sakusa facepalms and sighs, “Give me my mask back; I’m leaving.”
“NO, OMI-KUN, WAAAAAIT . I’M SORRY—“
“This is supposed to be a thirst tweets video, and yet my teammates seem to be the thirstiest of all.” Sakusa says to no one in particular.
“Call it team-bonding. Meian would be proud.” Atsumu responds, imagining the look of approval on their captain’s face.
Sakusa tilts his head back, appearing to be praying to some god. He looks back at the camera, “But to that user, please don’t do that. That’s deadly.”
Bokuto clasps his hands together, “Awww, Omi cares~”
- cut scene -
Sakusa tosses the phone back to the crew, “And that’s all, thank god.”
Hinata grins, “Thanks for sending us your tweets and traumatizing our Omi-kun.”
Sakusa grimaces, “Ah yeah, it was a delight.” He says sarcastically.
Atsumu flashes the camera a charming smile, “Tune in for the upcoming videos of the rest of us reading your thirst tweets.”
Bokuto throws up finger guns to the camera, “Can’t wait to see what you guys have in store for us!”
I know I made gifs of this before but I cannot for the life of me find the post? I guess I deleted it by accident (or Tumblr did)?? It happened with one of my Age of Ultron gifsets, too. 😩 Ah well, gives me a chance to redo these ones with a bit better quality!
