#bvent

[bluusome]

i have got to stop accepting acting roles that give me gender dysphoria. i keep thinking that i can grit my teeth and bulldoze through the dysphoria cus acting is fun and then i end up either masculinizing the character or crying. shits fucked

[bluusome]

can’t wait to put this cis“het” guy that allegedly likes me back through the gauntlet where i make sure that he really truly believes that i am a guy and understands the intricacies of perceived gender and its relation to attraction

[bluusome]

i need to excommunicate him. from what. idk

[bluusome]

life is so much better when i don’t text him for a day and lowkey i think that’s a red flag

[bluusome]

i am going to exprlode why is my life so fucking complicated

[bluusome]

man i really hope this guy hasn’t gotten sick of me cus that would be pretty fucked. like girly i got mixed feelings but i still care

[bluusome]

me in the trenches trying to read the multi-hundred page biography Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow. my weapon is the desire to see what makes Lin Manuel Miranda thinks that Hamilton is “so gangster, [he] cannot even begin to describe it” and my shield is the desire to ignore all other things of notable importance (homework, friends, contemplative thought) that may make me feel momentarily worse than i do right now, despite the likelihood that these thing may make me feel better later.

[bluusome]

i wish there was a way to stop wilbur soot from popping up in my pinterest feed because i am looking at a picture of him in a trash can rn and it is adorable but also i hate that motherfucker and it’s making me sad