#bwompbomp

[bwompbomp]

Marry me?

intro - in a moment of your pyrexia, you mutter a string of words that makes his non-existent heart thud happily in his chest, or basically, you caught a fever, and you say some words accidentally in your feverish stupor. (or was it really accidental?)

character - wanderer x reader

genre - disgustingly sweet fluff

warnings - gn! reader, (1.5k wc) wanderer will be referred to as 'Sacchi', a nickname inspired by nahida's name (or nickname?) for wanderer, "Kasacchi", but he's also referred with an endearment 'darling', mild cursing??

home

releasing a groan, you scrunched your nose while facing the ceiling. the ache from your throat is becoming more evident as time passed by, its become to the point you can no longer avoid it. you tried to sigh, but a cough escaped out of your mouth instead, making you frown. you hate this. did you have to get sick at your hell week aka exam week??

but of course you just had to. albeit you tried to ignore it yesterday morning by continuing your study session, it seemed like your cold responded with a firm 'no' as it forced you to sleep the remaining day with a fever. your head was spinning, but all that was on your mind was how unprepared you were for the exams that were coming real soon. it was already dawn, and you forced yourself to get up with what little of a strength that was remaining in your system.

"....ugh.."

always comes with a challenge though. fighting back the urge to vomit, you support yourself using the walls of your room to at least get something to eat. carefully treading to the door, your nose catches a waft of something that made your stomach instantly churn. you blink.

wait, is he home? but.. i thought he was still busy with his reports?

twisting the doorknob open, your tired eyes fixate on the kitchen where you find your roommate (and your boyfriend, you think...) wearing a cute pink apron with a text saying 'kiss the cook!'. you blink at how adorable he looks and how the frilly apron suited him. he turns to the direction of the sound of the door opening, but you couldn't quite make out what was the expression that was sitting on his cute face. once he found you in your dishevelled state, you hear him click his tongue before walking towards your direction with a spatula on one hand. what a perfect malewife.

"hm. finally up? quite the sleepyhead you are in afternoons huh." he remarks, his indigo eyes glossing you over. you replied with a hum and immediately pulled him close to you in a hug. resting your head on his shoulder, you sighed, smiling woozily. his lack of temperature contrasting yours made it a lot comfier to snuggle him. on a normal occasion, he would've called you clingy while snuggling you close too, missing the way your warmth makes up for what he lacks, but he flinches instead. "wait, you're awfully hot today.."

"why thank you, darling ♡." you smiled sweetly at the sight of him rolling his eyes at your joke. putting a hand on your forehead, his face morphs into distaste at the temperature your body is in. he was gone for one day and a night and you had the nerve to get sick? he squished your cheeks using his hands, forcing you to face him and look at his displeased eyes, and for your arms to let go of his body. you whine, the comfort of hugging him and being hugged by him now disappearing.

"shush, your temperature is high and i don't like it." he squints his eyes on you, scrutinising the expression on your face and the state your body is in. leading you to sit on the couch, he asks your patience as he's cooking both of your dinners up, and a lot more other things you couldn't focus enough to hear since your head was spinning. you only hummed in response and grabbed a nearby pillow to rest your head on.

your nose still catching the whiff of a pleasant smell, your tired eyes slowly closed itself as you hear pots and pans clunking at the kitchen. you smiled to yourself, he was so cute. if you had the strength, you were definitely showering him with love with just how lovable he is despite his denials, compliments with how endearing his actions are for you, and kisses with how grateful you are for him. archons, he's just so...

slump.. thud!

"y/n...?" hearing a soft thump in the living area, wanderer heads to the couch with concern latching in his expression. "goodness, y/n?! you..." he trailed off, watching your body shivering from the cold and your expression wincing from the pain.. of falling to the floor. he frowns immediately, lifting your body to a more comfortable position on the couch, putting pillows on your nape and under your head to cushion you. he takes a second to massage your forehead and his frown eases up once he hears your satisfied sighs.

he smiles, his expression slowly changing to fondness as he grabs his blanket and drapes it on your sick form, hoping that your cold isn't that serious.

"hold on.." he rushes to the kitchen, quickly chopping the vegetables needed for the soup he was making. seeing you in that state triggers something in him, something he doesn't want to recall. he shakes his thoughts away, focusing on making the soup. he swiftly gets his job done, occasionally glancing over to your direction and checking if you're stupid enough to fall to the floor twice.

well, you are stupid. for becoming sick. and making him worried.

no, he's not worried, that's what he tells himself, but the way he quickly stirs the pot full of the soup and the way he glances at your form sleeping on the couch to check your condition proves him wrong. he knows it's stupid. humans are fragile, way too fragile for their own good, yet annoyingly stubborn in ways he can't even begin to understand.

unfortunately, his human is also one of the many who behaves like so, which never fails to crease his eyebrows and shake his head in disappointment. such is the way of idiocy, he muses.

'and yet you gave them your heart', he can hear that annoying archon comment with interest and faux mockery, to which he'd only reply with a scoff, 'have you forgotten my origins? i don't have that annoying, beating thing that humans have in their chest.'

but if he did, he thinks about giving you of what remains of it.

putting the fire off and serving a portion in a bowl, he serves the soup on the table, his eyes squinting in annoyance at how pinkish your nose is, and how your expression screams the pains of a sick person.

he knows it's stupid. it's just a stupid fever. caught by a stupid human who's stupid enough to not take care of themself, and the end result is now a stupid human who's sick.

but his earliest memories of the past involving humans who also fell into sickness aren't pleasant, not to mention how this stupid (and adorable) human is too close to his heart for him not to take care of. he sighs in mild annoyance, brushing the hair off of your forehead. "hey." he whispers, his tone softening slightly without him realising. "the food's ready."

you only groan weakly, the lights in the ceiling flaring at your vision once you peer your eyes open, not helping your condition. archons, your head hurts and you feel too hot. "hot..." you whisper with a rasped voice, leaning onto his shoulder as he slowly helps you up to a seated position. he murmurs an "i know.", reminding himself to get a bowl of water and a piece of cloth to wipe you with later.

after an ample amount of effort, you've managed to finish half-way through the bowl of soup. helping you drink your medicine with a glass of water, you sigh in content, releasing a small burp. he smirks at that, letting you rest your head on the crook of his neck. this stupid human.. letting down their guard on a former harbringer no less.. and if he decided he had had enough with your stupidity and took advantage of you right now??

"..sacchi.." your small voice takes him out of his thoughts and he instantly focuses on what you're attempting to say, leaning his head low to get closer. "..you.."

"..i love you.." you whisper, a small smile gracing your mouth. even if your voice is weak and small, you know he's listening. you just know he is. your heart beats in content, your fingers slightly tightening on his shirt.

"..wanna marry you... you're such.. a malewife.."

then you fall to your slumber completely, your whispers instead replaced with the rhythmic sound of your breaths. but for some reason, that's not what the wanderer hears. for some reason, he hears an annoying *thump, thump, thump* ringing on his ears, with his face turning hot.. too hot for his liking..

he scoffs quietly, eyebrows scrunched in what seems to be a displeased expression, but the way his mouth tugs up to form a small smile betrays him so. archons forbid someone giving him a mirror, for he himself doesn't even realise the stupid grin slowly forming on his mouth and the way his eyes softened at your words.

'i love you too, stupid human.'

he made damn sure you didn't hear that though. (you did.)

a/n - wrote this as an idea in my drafts & then i actually get sick w a fever. its like i manifested it, lmao

likes and reblogs are appreciated! always remember to eat and drink your shit, and i hope u had a good readd <33

[bwompbomp]

Diffidence

summary - the act of being modest in resulting to a lack of self-confidence. something we all feel one day, deal with, be ashamed of, and try to erase, but you haven't exactly erased it just yet, or at all. as you maneuver towards your last steps of being a high school student, you juggle your internal affairs with your school cases, as well as....love affairs?!

characters - Zhongli, Childe, Scaramouche, Diluc, Albedo, Thoma, Xingqiu, Ayato, x reader (gender neutral, separate)

genre - mainly fluff (some may have a sprinkle of angst)

warnings - cursing, modern/school AU, super super long read, insecurity issues, toxic tendencies

a/n - there's no set schedule for the posts, bear with me, college is stressful and draining af. y/n here has a friend that's a girl, she's occasionally mentioned in some parts. also inspired by tumblr user @/xiaowhore's "yours truly"

Characters:

➸ Zhongli : ❝ Trial of Emotions ❞

➸ Childe : ❝ Wisps of Memories ❞

➸ Scaramouche : ❝ Practice of Resilience ❞

➸ Diluc : ❝ Promises of Paradise ❞

➸ Albedo : ❝ Study of Hearts ❞

➸ Thoma : ❝ Waltz of Affection ❞

➸ Xingqiu : ❝ Perceptions of Passion ❞

➸ Ayato : ❝ Whispers of Flower Petals ❞

Profile

[bwompbomp]

Diffidence

" i like you, but don't like me. "

intro - absurd. absurd how some people just have it all. looks, brains, who wouldn't want to approach and befriend someone like that? who wouldn't want to stick close, get to know them more since they have such a friendly smile that lures you closer?

character - Zhongli x reader

genre - fluff (angst if u squint)

warnings - cursing, insecurity issues, long-ish read? (2.8k wc), toxic tendencies, gn!reader

diffidence masterlist

it's always that time of the year.

chocolates, flowers, gifts, poems, and many more others wrapped with careful hands and gifted with unspoken feelings. you get to see them being given around, or being shown off to their peers like a once-in-a-blue-moon trophy.

several confessions being blurted in the corners of the campus, and couples happily spending their time with each other, basking on the love that they share. they're practically everywhere, its beginning to feel like an eyesore everytime they mind their own business and hold hands within their own world, hushing words of burning passion that it's quite the irony your ears still manage to pick it up.

it further screams that this special day is Valentines with the school organizing love-related events, along with all the pink ribbons decorated across the campus, surrounded by a masquerade of hearts and kisses.

with this kind of atmosphere, you'll be reeled in to mutter your own confessions, no?

your face deadpans at your thoughts. 'absolutely not. what are you even going to confess, your sins?'

'where are your friends anyway?'

'oh sorry. friend.'

so you text her, your only friend (for now!!!), asking her where in the devil she's supposed to be since you two agreed to meet at 3.

(its actually because the atmosphere was suffocating you with the smell of the sweetness ranging from chocolates to their mouths muttering words like honey and sugar.)

it's just, a little bit annoying to have couples in every nook and cranny of the school like it's some trend.

then again, it kinda is.

it is that time of the year.

deciding to head to the library for your free time, where you know was a place that is certainly quiet, you opened the doors carefully and breathed a sigh of satisfaction once doing a glance-over inside. seeing that at least people here weren't making kissy faces, you made your way towards an empty table, muttering an 'excuse me' to a tall figure picking a book on your side of the table while hurriedly rummaging through your bag.

*thud*

you closed your eyes when you felt an ache and a tear escape your eye. smiling, you glanced to the towering fellow, who you just passed by. he who trailed his eyes towards the book, which was now on the floor, and he who dropped to his knees to grab the fallen book, gaze never leaving the object that he dropped from failing to hold said object properly. he didn't even acknowledge you.

did..did he maybe not notice? you reasoned with yourself to try and understand him. maybe..maybe the book he was gonna read was as heavy as dumbbells? or maybe his grip is just that weak? you rub the spot that was aching on your head while smiling. you face at the man with your beam, at least expecting an apology from your poor head who had to suffer a fall from such a thick book. what even, is that an encyclopedia or something??

the man in a black long-sleeved polo sighs with relief once successfully obtaining his book. though, with your intense stare, he finds his eyes brushing past you and your uh, smile, yet he averts quickly, intent on avoiding from conversing right now. your smile grows wider.

going back on where he originally was with book in hand, you presume his seat, you gripped your bag tightly, feeling your stomach do flips. it's just going to be a talk! surely's hes not a bully and will just say sorry, right? you purse your lips. you made your way slowly to his direction and you cant help but panic internally. should you really bother a stranger because they didnt apologize? your brain says so, but..

perhaps it was because due to you making a slugging beeline towards his table that he turns his head to you, asking you what's wrong. you muttered 10 curses at once, coming out as a whole bunch of gibberish before praying that he didnt hear anything of that (he did) and straightened yourself up.

you blinked, noticing that he looks hot. wow. incredibly hot. his golden amber eyes contrasted his dark casual fashion, complimenting his whole refined gentleman look. not to mention his glasses adding more to his charm? damn, you felt a little intimidated by his sexy aura that you had to gulp, reminding yourself why you're in front of him in the first place.

if this was fate pulling its strings on a romance novel, you would've stared a bit longer, admiring his good looks with a blush. batting your eyelashes like an idiot, you look at him bashfully, with flowers suddenly blooming and the wind making an extravagant entrance on the scene. with sparkling eyes, you tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, coyly shimmering closer towards his direction...

but it isn't.

you sucked in a breath, slapping yourself to reality while he stared at you suddenly halting your movements once you made contact with his picturesque face. with an embarrassed smile, you pointed towards his gloved hand holding the book. "hey! i don't know if you noticed, but that book you're holding fell on top of my head earlier." you tell him, your smile never vanishing from your face.

it took almost all your dignity when he just stood there, staring at you. this would've been a fierce battle of a staring contest and you would've taken this more seriously, as a proper challenge, had it not been that you two are strangers. this hurts, is this his payback for you staring at him too?

"it did?"

oh. oh thank god. "it did, it did."

"ah." he turned to you, facing you directly with concerned eyes before looking at your head. "i must beg your pardon for the late apologies. my attention was diverted to a problem that was being an inconvenience. is your head doing alright?"

wow. mhm. his voice is silky smooth too.

"it will be soon, but thanks!" you sheepishly smile at him, rubbing your head, before tearing up lightly at the bump created. sending him a light wave afterwards, you head to the table you were at, glancing at your watch. ah, its almost time for your friend to be here. took her long enough. nevermind reading then.

you pack your stuff quietly, making a mental note to continue reading your pocket book later. swinging your bag on your shoulder, you pushed your chair back, but turned around at the sound of someone clearing their throat. to your surprise, it was the same guy earlier.

"would you mind if i escort you to the nurse's office?" you opened your mouth to decline, but seeing how he had his bag on his shoulder already while guiltily smiling at you, you giggled at his offer, bobbing your head yes.

on the way to the infirmary with this (hot) gentleman by the name of zhongli, people around you couldn't help but glance, stare even. well you really can't blame them, but you shriveled at the tiny attention. you just hope this wasn't gonna start up a rumor soon..

regarding zhongli, he was a senior transferee this school year, which absolutely baffles you since you didn't know him. you guys are already finishing up your first sem and you didn't even know there were transferees. did he not show up at the collective assembly? well, you didn't really give enough shits to bother who transfers and who stays to look around some familiar faces anyway.

weeks passed when you guys met, with you always being at his receiving end of help. whether it's by studying, by hogging some answers with little to no effort of bargaining (because he always just gives it anyway, save from the mini remindings he does to you), to you forgetting your things, and him miraculously always having what you needed. its almost like he knew you had short-term memory. amazing isn't he?

but then, it goes to you internally suffering from him sometimes (always) not bringing his wallet, (crazy thing is, once he does bring his wallet it was always just..not enough...), then to him asking you to be partners with him, or just join in any class-related project that needed groups with him, and..

um, that's it.

yeah haha, what a fair give and take situation. hey, its not your fault he isn't as clumsy as you are. but at least you get to experience what it's like to get higher grades. your bond with him certainly went deeper as weeks turned to months, with you chatting away your interests on the literature of books. with the library being your usual hanging-out spot, you both discuss trivial matters that range from the cliche plots, to the vast types of art people use to express their imagination. with each of you clashing each other's weapons with your opinions, it almost felt like an internal debate.

maybe it's because all you've been seeing is your friend's face these past few years, but with zhongli around, you find yourself spilling almost anything that pops up in your mind due to him never failing to catch onto the topics you open up.

and of course, that didn't fail to make you question yourself. putting a hand unconsciously on your chest, you purse your lips once you realized the way your stomach feels like you did flips, the way your cheeks flushes a little bit more, the way you always seem to look for him when his class is mentioned, and the way your chest tightens, it hurts..

and since you think he's too out of your league, that you're pushing your luck just by being friends with him, that he probably doesn't even think of you like that, you smile. it's fine. you'll get over it. you always do.

"have you read the book i recently pointed to you?" you looked up at him, and he adjusts his glasses in return. "on that subject, i finished it at home. you were absolutely correct, the author has a great talent of making us readers feel exactly how they want us to feel, and the way they worded each chapter and scenes was really breath-taking." he shuffles through his bag and places the book on the table, smiling. "the plot was quite anguishing, and while i ponder what would've been the case if the book had a happy ending, im satisfied with the way as it is now. it certainly sparked my interest with pocket books, so i'd like to express my gratitude for recommending this to me, y/n."

you flashed him a small smile. "wow, we've been friends for a while but i still can't get how you don't get a headache from the amount of fancy words you've been using. does sound like my influence is getting to you though." you giggle at him, cheeks flushed. "i'm glad you liked it. let me know if you want me to recommend you some more." he nods, sharing your grin, before rearranging his things. as your grin became a lazy smile, you let your thoughts slip out so naturally out of your mouth as you always do,

"reading stories like these, it makes me feel so happy for the two of them, for them to overcome all those problems and live their lives so happily, growing stronger like that." his eyes bore your relaxed posture. "it's amazing, how any type of problem can change a person, and how it pushes them to have courage to do more things, to experience more things...like liking, or even deeper, loving."

"well, humans are resilient, no?" you laugh. "you say that as if you aren't one yourself." he chuckles in return. "well, yeah...i guess." his gaze continues to linger on your unreadable expression, finding it outlandish. his hand brushes on yours before fondling it, a habit he developed to get your attention to him. ah, he's doing it again. stop, don't blush, you'll make it obvious.

you directed your eyes on both of your hands, reading his action as worry. you want to pull away. its okay. calm down. this is normal for him. "ah no no, i'm fine. it's just that, i envy that. i envy them." ..and yet, you didn't find the heart to swat his hands away. with how fast your heart was beating, he'd think you're having a heart attack. you caress his hands back. it's fine. some friends also do these. "..at the same time though, im happy for them, like a cheerleader on a court, or those crowds that surround a stage. they're amazing at what they're doing, and you can see that, but you just can't help but envy them." don't hope for more. stop assuming.

he blinks at you. "what is it that you envy about them?" don't dare dream of anything. you know you don't have a chance regardless, you're too ugly.

you pause, zhongli's question rendering you quiet. you knew best why you felt envious, but you didn't want him to know that something trivial like this bothers you. he already knows how careless you are, you're not gonna add another in your list of failures. you forced a smile, "well you know...they're strong. they had the courage to say whatever they felt, and for that, i commend them."

"do you have someone you like?"

you've failed at hiding your emotions again, because hearing that made you accidentally squeeze his hands a little tighter than you should've. fuck. you blew your cover, dumbass. "ah, sorry." you made an attempt to let his hand go, but he gripped it back, and you looked at him in surprise. "i also apologize, but is something bothering you y/n?"

there is. you couldn't stop staring at his eyes, his eyes that hold so much care, so much- too much, that it scares you to think, to think that what if he held love in those instead? what if, per chance, he harbored the same feelings that you did? no, of course he won't, what are you even thinking?? you face down, overwhelmed. you pursed your lips. "....i don't know." you close your eyes, fearing he might hear your voice tremble. you like him. you squeezed his hands, trying to find the strength not to cry. you like him and..

zhongli squeezes your hands back, urging you to keep going. ...and you want him to know. so bad. "it's somewhat frustrating you know? i want to get rid of this envy, solve it somehow, because i felt ugly, like a bad person. it feels as if i want them to not be happy with whatever they're doing, but i just..." you falter, you're scared.

...but you're scared, scared if he turns away because.... "it doesn't make sense." he nods, still intently listening. "and it feels like shit, because i know that i don't have a chance and-" your voice fails you. you want to bolt up and have a breather. you might break down here, and no, you don't want him to utter the cursed words out of pity. you'll hate yourself even more.

....he might realize how ugly you are.

"then, how about being in a relationship?" your eyes snap to his response. "if you're distressed by this feeling you get whenever you see or read couples, then how would you like it if you were, per chance, on their shoes?" you look at him, his suggestion ringing on your mind. "hopefully then, the reason why you're such in a discomfort will identify itself so that you can feel satisfied?"

"thats..." you mumbled, the idea of being in a relationship seems so far away for you, though you forced a smile. if only we were in a real one instead. you chuckled, "pray tell zhongli. who'll be in a relationship with me anyway?"

with the times you've bonded with zhongli, you always felt like a child next to him, and it bothered you since it was akin to you being a burden to him. you always felt like he already knew what to do in various situations, either complicated or not, even those that he's encountered for the first time in his life. he's the composed one between the two of you most of the time, as if he never made mistakes, impossible that may sound like. and then there's you, imperfect in every way.

so when you saw zhongli's face morph into an alienated expression, his breath hitching, seeming to be hesitating, you blinked. you watch as he pursed his lips tightly, before inhaling in and holding your gaze with a fire that looked firm, a gaze you never really see from him. your chest couldn't help but beat irrationally in exchange,

"if i said-" he squeezed your hands. "if i said, that i'd gladly assist you, would you allow me?"

a/n - gosh its so long. i do hope you enjoyed the read though, it has been a while since ive done this sort of thing so apologies if it was bad.

likes and reblogs are appreciated! drink and eat ur shit, i hope u enjoyed ur read <3

[bwompbomp]

Friends?

intro - love, a feeling so complex that it can't be fully expressed in words. with something so beautiful, so strong, comes with its equal ugliness and weakness. for example, when you're heartbroken.

character - gn! reader x male charac? wrote this w. no one in mind so it can be anyone u imagine!

genre - angst :3

warnings - not my forte, so bear w. me if it isn't angsty enough :c, unspoken love shi, miscommunication/misunderstanding typabeat.

home

rejection is something that is usually feared at by the most, whether in society, in job interviews, or even.. love confessions. afraid of heartbreak and the events transpiring after such an awkward and possibly heartbreaking moment, you choose to hide yourself in the guise of a friendly facade, approaching him with the reason of 'becoming friends!'.

'selfish.' your head would whisper to you in moments where you're left for your overthinking to swallow you whole. 'approaching someone with a hidden agenda is as good as tricking them.'

but is it so bad you want to be closer? to be with him a little longer, to spend time and make memories, even if he didn't see you the way you see him?

is it really that bad that you were just a little hopeful, thinking that if you started small, even as friends, it'd eventually grow to something more? something more beautiful, more lovelier and more.. wonderful?

is it really so selfish of you to wish for more memories to lose yourself in your daydreams? more time to spend with him that'll maybe, possibly, make him change his mind and see a possibility of something else?

but as you watch him talk to them, the way he would look at thrm in such.. tenderness as he listened carefully to what they'd say, finding the gentleness odd, feeling it tug at your heartstrings as you watch him treat them in a different level, a level you doubt would be something you'd ever feel.

'oh.' you whisper, feeling that familiar, clenching feeling that's on your chest, that familiar lump forming on your throat as the urge to cry strengthens. you smile, immediately forcing yourself to look away, face away, turn away, go away.

'what'd you expect?' you smile to yourself, your footsteps trudging the roads as your legs take you somewhere, anywhere but that sight. you can feel your lips trembling, the negative thoughts starting to plague your mind and overshadow any positive ones. 'why did you dare hope?? why bother trying, when you couldn't even compare-'

"y/n!"

you stop at your absent-minded tracks at that familiar voice. not finding the strength in yourself to turn around and for him to see the possible signs of distress you were just in, you bit your trembling lips and sucked in a quiet inhale. "..yeah?"

"where were you going?" he says, his steps coming closer to your direction. you frowned at the realisation, before discreetly wiping any unshed tears and stretching your lips to a questioning grin as you turned to him, presenting the friendly mask that you always, always hid yourself in.

"what do you mean? didn't i tell you i'd go home early for today?"

"you did?" you didn't. "yeah. need some homework and other school shit due today." you feigned a dramatic sigh, your eyes catching the stare he gave you as he slowly walked closer. "oh.. did you need some help with them again?" he offers.

"no. i'm fine." you forced yourself to grin, a resigned smile slipping between the cracks of your facade. "wouldn't wanna ruin a possible set-up with you-know-who. don't you know how I absolutely detest being a third wheel?"

he blushes in response, a quiet reply that says all you need to know, answers all the questions you had and shutting down the hope you had in your foolish heart. he stammers a weak refusal, but the way he easily crumbles to his embarrassment refutes the words he mutters. you giggle, the action leaving a bitter taste in your tongue as you play along the 'good, supporting friend'.

"..go."

and off he goes, bidding you goodbye. he smiles at you, a sight for your sore eyes, your heart thudding painfully in your chest as you got reminded of your situation. with his receding figure running off to them, you slowly continue your venture to god knows where.

foolish, is it not? approaching him with the intentions of becoming more, spending more time with him as you hoped that there would be a flick, or a switch, something, that'll tug at his heart, to at least reciprocate a fraction of the feelings weighing in the deepest parts of your heart..

..only for it to be the shackles that'd bound you to your unfortunate position, a big, dangling sign labelled 'a good friend' hanging in your neck, like a collar bound to its tie.

ironic, really, that you'd dare hope for something more, when you're the one who immediately set the boundaries of possibilities your relationship could go. immediately telling him that you'd want to be a good friend, you set up walls, borders that you find to be a safe place, a comfort for your weary heart who desires him so, so much, only for it to be the very obstacle, chaining yourself to the label that is 'a good friend'.

if only you noticed the ways he would look at you before, when you weren't paying attention. if only you noticed the way he'd hide his giddy smile as you introduced yourself to him.

if only you noticed the heartbreak in his eyes as you professed your desire to be his.. good friend.

a/n - *sobs, don't you just hate it when the charac is unfortunately stuck in a situation where they can't do shit, only for you to realise they dug up their own grave? yikes.

dropping this here because I suddenly felt angsty. did it make you cry? hope so ♡ jk

likes n reblogs r vv much appreciated! hope u had a good read, remember to eat n drink ur shitt ♡

[bwompbomp]

" a lie is an exceptional form of love ! "

.⸙͎｡ ↷ Lily • Scorpius • Tired • Lurker

I mainly read, but I sometimes make impulsive decisions at midnight and post! ✧*̥₊

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕜𝕤 ::

✎ Diffidence Series

summary - the act of being modest in resulting to a lack of self-confidence. something we all feel one day, deal with, be ashamed of, and try to erase, but you haven't exactly erased it just yet, or at all. as you maneuver towards your last steps of being a high school student, you juggle your internal affairs with your school cases, as well as....love affairs?! (various chars)

✎ Marry me?

summary - in a moment of your pyrexia, you mutter a string of words that makes his non-existent heart thud happily in his chest, or basically, you caught a fever, and you say some words accidentally in your feverish stupor. (or was it really accidental?) (scara/wanderer)

✎ Friends?

summary - love, a feeling so complex that it can't be fully expressed in words. with something so beautiful, so strong, comes with its equal ugliness and weakness. for example, when you're heartbroken. (gn! reader x male charac)

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╰─────➛ MORE INFO ･.࿐

❦ SFW blog, check warnings for gender (mainly they/them y/n), no set sched for posts, mostly contains genshin, main text is almost always written like this.

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❦ She/They, asks are always open, BYI, regard to the basic DNI criteria, i might not reply as fast due to timezone difference & wifi issues, be friendly ♡.

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