PUCK: hey. can i leave some work crap at your place for a couple days. i don't have to stay there just need a place for my shit so i won't look like a hobo with wrinkled shirts.
[Serena eyes the text.]
SERENA: Sure. May I ask what's the quantity of said crap? Like, are we talking a closet worth or a bedroom?
[quickly]
SERENA: So I know which closet to ensure is Sugar-Proofed, that is.
Serena, Puck, Sam and Fiona head out to a Brooklyn strip club to celebrate Fiona’s 30th birthday.
@puckyeah @samerystargaryen @thehudsonator
Serena arranges for a driver and a G-Class limousine to take the fearsome foursome out to PUMPS in Brooklyn.
Puck is dressed in her best leather, looking every bit the part of the hot body guard eye candy. She doesn’t hesitate to show off the gun show.
Serena, as always, is in a designer suit, with shoes worth more than the GDP of a small country.
Fiona, much to Serena’s chagrin, proudly dons the Stetson bequeathed to her earlier by Kitty; putting forward her best Coyote Ugly. And she proudly brandishes the little gun flask.
Sam, too, is dressed in her best trip-out-to-the-strip-club attire. Serena is all but certain there’s a Bea-planted surveillance device somewhere on Sam’s person.
Upon arrival, Serena is quick to order top shelf bottle service, inundating the foursome with the best, and most expensive alcohol on the premises. Although it’s Serena who ends up downing the most by the night’s end.
Serena and Puck are generous with their tips for the dancers on the poles, and they park themselves stage side for several performances.
The lap dances begin shortly thereafter, with a drunken Serena promising 30 lap dances for Fiona (nevermind the fact that there aren’t even 30 dancers working that night).
Nonetheless, Fiona is then treated to several topless lap dances, with hundred dollar bills given to her by Serena to tip her favorite dancers with after Fiona, who has little to no experience with strippers, uses all of her cash tipping the very first dancer.
And at one point, Fiona has up to four dancers at once--all enthusiastically encouraged by Serena.
Meanwhile, Sam can’t help but cheer on the dancers. Being a former stripper she cries out things like “YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE!”, and other similar phrases of encouragement. Naturally, the dancers find it charming, and Serena is mortified.
Sam also strikes up conversations with several dancers throughout the night, asking them about their clothes, and moves, and what workouts they do and about how they’re following their dreams.
Puck, of course, attracts the attention of not only the dancers, but many of the female patrons.
As the night wears on, Serena drunkenly suggests they go to Resorts World casino in Queens and keep the party going. They hop into the limousine, making a beeline for the casino.
Various games are played (both skillfully and non) and money is won; with the foursome eventually ending up back in the limo bound for the city after Serena is accused of card counting in the high stakes room and booted from the premises.
While on their way home, Sam gleefully exclaims that together, they are The Wolfpack. Move over Paw Patrol.
