Is all truly peaceful in New York, or has the town found it's newest Phantom Thief?
Dearest and Kindest readers, in regards to your thirst for the latest; I do apologize for my lacking. A Lady has much to do, but upon returning to this pen and paper, I find every time I turn my back there is more bustling about than ever. So, without further a do...
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The Gala of the town was such a crash you could say it knocked your stockings off! Or rather, off your feet, and then crushed you with a falling 600 pound chandelier from a two story high building ceiling. Because that is exactly what happened to no-luck, Lucas Hamilton Laurens (@previously-bookie), the town's museum exhibit curator! Sorrows, sorrows, prayers. One must question if this was all a ploy for the guilty party? Possibly the dearest hosts of such dances, @the-dazzling-rahim, or perhaps @kitty-livingston herself?
Worry not! Possibly the most depressing man you have ever laid your eyes upon, you would assume you had been thrown into a Gothic Victorian novel at the mere sight — @sincerely-edevane is on the case. One must question his reliability... as he seems to be more enjoying - perhaps a bit too much 👀 - the sadistic thrill of the chase rather than actually capturing the Mastermind. As reports claim he was seen grinning ear to ear at the sight of a million dollar chandelier broken to shards, that worked as a successful distraction to sway eyes from the vacant pedestal where Livingston's beloved diamond once stood. Perhaps that goes to explain as to why his strangely designed pocket watch - claimed to have been a gift from his Uncle Ronald - was found at the next crime scene only days later! The skull of a T. Rex display located in the center of the museum was also stolen!
According to sources such as the museum exhibit curator's own assistant and sassy lost child, @cicero-defacto, it was a fine early morning when an exhibit from west of the museum had gone off with alerts, once again stealing everyone's attention. Only for them to find nothing, and return to a missing fossil skull. It is said the security in charge of cameras has gone missing too. Thief, attempted murderer, and kidnapper? What doesn't happen in this town? It just so happens that the Dick's (slang for detective, of course *wink wink*) own watch was found at the crime scene. Police have taken it as evidence.
Worry not, the skull was then returned right as the dear curator was released from the hospital as if it had never been stolen. It is said that the Phantom Thief is playing the puppeteer, toying with all the townsfolk like marionette dolls for a good laugh. I suppose this is the effect of writer strikes and no good media being produced, we have resorted to making ourselves the media. Oh, the humanity!
Just now, it has been learned that a young Columbia student - who has an awful reputation on this paper - @coribennett and @the--investigation--team are also on the case! So much for Detective Eeyore working all alone.
With the newest band of the town being said to have stood next to the diamond — a man with rumors of being with criminal business and a vampire — and a Detective now a possible suspect for his own case — Who can we trust?
Upon the next bundle of rumors, shall I appear once more. Gossiping is amongst us, and I find it my duty to reveal it upon us.