#c. kira.

[seapsycheis]

"You've gotta be kidding me..."

To Kira, fear is generally a very unfamiliar emotion. There's always some level of anxiety present in his work, especially during a surgery - the feeling of a patient's life being in your hands creates a sense of pressure like you'd never believe. But that's something he signed up for. And he's as used to it as he can be, having put in a lot of work to get the skills needed to be confident in his profession.

This type of fear is something very different. And to be clear, it's not like he's terrified. It's more like a sense of dread in the back of his throat that just won't go away, one that's only gotten stronger throughout the day... because he could swear that something's been calling him. Hearing voices is never a good sign, but not necessarily reason to panic immediately - and yet Kira can't shake the idea that this might the beginning of him losing his mind. A quick descent into a place where he can't even trust his own perception or reality.

He can admit to himself that the thought does scare him. But like he said - it's no reason to panic yet. But when he realizes someone's entered the room, he does his best at shaking off his disheveled state and pulling himself together - before raising an eyebrow at the girl he sees before him.

"You again? Didn't you say you'd be more careful last time?"

@s0ulphr4se ( starter! )

[seapsycheis]

Kira knows that others often see him as standoffish. Even knowing he's a doctor, they don't take him for the type to get involved in other's problems, and well - that isn't an entirely incorrect assessment all of the time. But looks can be deceiving - and just like he became a doctor because he wanted to help people, Kira also isn't the type to ignore a situation when it looks like he should step in.

That's why he's here now, sending a cold stare in the direction of the thug who'd been stalking the young girl nearby. Said thug retreats from the scene with an equally smouldering look; one that seems to speak of a desire for payback, but they leave nonetheless, so Kira counts it as a job done well enough. Of course, that leaves the girl in question - and she actually doesn't look particularly afraid, so maybe she could've handled it on her own. But still. Better to be safe than sorry when dealing with this kind of thing, right?

"Man, I hate dealing with jerks like those. ...You alright?"

@epitomees ( starter for makoto! )

[seapsycheis]

"Hey, I never said it was a problem. More patients means there's more for me to do... more chances for experiments, too."

Kira responds to Shinjiro nonchalantly, though his lips curl upwards into something of a smirk when he's finished speaking - and it's maybe not the kind of look you'd want to see from your doctor after hearing something like that. But before the concerning implications can really start to set in, he speaks again-

"...I'm joking." -and clarifies his intentions, a hint of mischief lingering in his expression all the while. Kira's been told on many an occasion that he doesn't have the best bedside manner, but he just can't help himself. Most everyone around here knows his reputation anyway, and seeing the way that patients react to his unusual sense of humor is always just too fun... and aside from that, it can sometimes tell him more than you'd expect about a person's character.

Still- Kira's still a doctor, and he's here to do his job seriously in the end. Aragaki's an interesting case, too. Despite his notoriety around here, Kira's never been the one to handle him himself, and he has to admit he's sparked his curiosity in more ways than one...

"But really - what can I do for you today? I've heard a bit about what to expect from my seniors, but I'd rather hear from you instead, if I can."

@bloodycharge ( continued from here! )

[seapsycheis]

Kira stops for a moment at that - hearing that Ryuji goes to the same school that Kamoshida worked at. Because of that, and Ryuji's initial reaction alongside that comment about how he's hurt a lot of people... it's quite possible that the boy knows someone who was impacted by Kamoshida's crimes, or was maybe even a victim himself.

There's no shift in Kira's expression, but he does suddenly feel a little more attentive. Sympathetic. Which... well, it's not unusual for him - despite the comments he gets at times, Kira is someone who cares about other people - why else would he become a doctor? But he usually tends to focus on the people he can help in his profession, rather than spend time thinking about incidents that he can't really do anything about.

Maybe he should drop the conversation here...? Even so, though, he's curious. Something about this whole thing has caught his interest, even if he can't put his finger on the exact reason.

"...Hmm. Well, it's a good thing he ended up confessing, then." Kira replies, not really sure what would be an appropriate response. Maybe he should have expressed his sympathies? But then again, he's just a stranger - it probably wouldn't even matter what he had to say.

"But I can't help but wonder why a man like that would turn himself in at all..." That's what really makes him wonder. Like an itch in his brain - something about it feels important. "Don't get me wrong, though. I'm glad he's facing justice." And then, after a moment... though he was going to leave it at that, he ends up asking a question.

"...Are they- doing alright, then?" The people Ryuji says Kamoshida hurt- "Those people. After everything."

@electricea ( continued! )

[seapsycheis]

Kira is no stranger to frustration. Most assume that his job as a resident doctor would be the source of most of his stresses, and it can be, sometimes, but usually he deals with work better than the challenges of his day-to-day life. Socializing, staying presentable, having to worry about the upkeep of his body and it's needs... all of those things are a pain to deal with - but he's managed to get along well enough so far.

Still. It's not like he doesn't face more serious challenges, too. Doubts, grief, and even fear... he's had to endure them all at some time or another - and still does to this day. This, though, feels different to everything else. The root emotion he can identify - anxiety, or at least that's the primary one... yet as for the cause, he has no idea what it could be.

The question is - why has Kira been feeling so off as of late? Like he's forgetting something important, or running out of time. Since he can't find a reason, part of him wonders if this might be the start of a medical issue - yet even as a doctor who's helped plenty to identify theirs, it's different when you're on the other side of it. He needs to be getting more sleep, too, but sleep always seems to come hardest when you need it the most... and even with the rough edges of exhaustion blurring his vision, that sense of urgency - a sudden shot of adrenaline into his heart- will always hit him just when he's about to give in.

"Do you mind? You're making a real racket over there." he finds himself biting out to someone - a high schooler, it looks like - before he can even think about what he's saying. But immediately after, Kira feels a little guilty. Well, maybe not exactly guilty - but even though he's never cared about being rude, it's not like him to snap for no reason, and the kid wasn't really doing anything wrong. Even though it's a pain to apologize... well, he knows what his sister would tell him to do...

"...Sorry. Forget it. Just been a long day." With a wave of his hand, Kira moves to dismiss the conversation unenthusiastically - but then pauses, his gaze suddenly sharpening to a point.

"...Actually... what were you talking about just now?"

@electricea ( starter! )

[seapsycheis]

Kira, to put it bluntly, must look like a mess, but in his defense, he thinks he probably looks worse than he actually is. The near all-nighter he'd had the night before along with the typical lack in care for how he presents himself have combined to make him look particularly wrecked, but the truth is that he's actually coping rather well - at least, as far as he's concerned.

The life of a doctor, even an intern one, is demanding, and Kira can't deny that he's feeling at least some of the stress. But... it's not for the reasons he might've normally expected. His mind is still stuck on his last patient, a kid who was so withdrawn it felt like he might crumble in on himself at any moment... Kira had managed to get him to open up a little, but he'd still been reluctant to talk - a fact that didn't make what he had to say any less concerning.

It's not just him, though. There's been more and more patients lately who seem to have lost their spirit - their "will for life", so to speak. Kira does what he can, but in the end, he's just a doctor - and more often than not he finds himself wishing there was more he could do. That last kid had mentioned wanting to post a request to the Phantom Thieves, who everyone's been talking about lately... if only they'd magically swoop in and fix Kira's problems too, he thinks to himself with a cynical laugh.

In contrast to how he feels, the man sitting across the table from him seems to be doing far better off. Then again, looks can be deceiving... Who's to say a stranger doesn't have their own worries, maybe even more than his?

"Sorry." he apologizes once he realizes he's being looked at. The man probably heard him laughing to himself just now. "Don't mind me. It's just been a long day... nothing to do with you."

@veritases ( starter! )