Dreblr secret Santa
So my secret Santa was @simplepotatofarmer (woo!)
I wrote you a rivals and drunz (is that their name? Punz and Dream) post prison healing arc fic.
word count: 3831
TW: meantions of torture, panic attacks, c!Sapnap neg (from c!Dream’s warped perspective)
Also I heard that c!Punz uses He/They pronouns? So thats what I used for him here :)
@dreamsclock did u also wanna be tagged? if not ignore this sorry lol
The air was cold, crisp. It shouldn’t have felt like a new sensation, in fact Dream had been to this very area, with the very same air, many times before, but after almost a year of nothing but hot and sticky air next to boiling lava, well anything could feel brand new. Snow too, he had forgotten how it crunched underfoot, how walking could include softness instead of hot hard obsidian. The wind was new as well, cold and brisk, blowing his hair (now too long for his liking) into his face. There had been bursts of wind in prison, when Sam had lowered the lava, the boiling air in the cell would get sucked away from him, towards Sam and whoever else was waiting on the other side (usually Quackity), before rushing back in to fill the space it had left behind. Or it had felt like rushing, with actual wind to compare to again, Dream realised it was more of a slow trickle.
Out of the four members of the syndicate, only two could easily tolerate him, and another was dead. Phil and Techno clearly cared in their own ways (no matter how hard Techno tried to deny it), but Niki was another thing. Niki just didn’t like him, which was fair enough Dream supposed, he had never made an effort to be kind to her, he had almost forgotten she existed after Wilbur had died. That, and the early L’manburg days must have cemented a certain idea of him for her. He was ok with that. She had helped to break him out - however much she hated him couldn’t stop her from acknowledging the conditions of the prison were terrible, and she kept to her morals as an anarchist that all prisons were bad. She kept to her morals despite hating him, he could respect that.
Rationalising who and who not to trust, that was another thing he had almost forgotten how to do. He had known he couldn’t trust Sam, or Quackity, he had known he could somewhat trust Techno, not completely, never completely. He didn’t know if Sapnap would actually take up his promise from the prison, he hadn’t yet, he’d almost let Dream go free and only fought him when Dream attacked. But then again, so much had changed between the two that Dream wasn’t even sure he knew Sapnap anymore. He doubted Sapnap would care to get to know the new him, not that Dream would let him anyway. He needed Sapnap to hate him, he needed to count on his brother’s arrogance and hatred.
Although it was part of the plan, even though Dream had literally told Techno to do so, when he asked for the netherite armour back, it had hurt. But he had complied, he had run away saying he owed Techno a favour, had run away to Punz. And Prime was he happy to see Punz again, even for how short the visit had to be, he needed to keep his friends safe, he couldn’t let anyone else die. Ranboo’s death was unfortunate, even if when he died he didn’t know Dream’s true intentions, it was the Ranboo with full memories that knew, not the Ranboo who had been locked up, not the Ranboo who had died. It was sad that Dream had to leave him in the afterlife; from what he’d heard from Tommy, it wasn’t exactly fun. But then Dream had had to deal with months of torture, starvation and isolation. Ranboo knew the plan, knew the risks, well sometimes he did, he had agreed to it all. Dream didn’t know how he’d react now he did actually get hurt. It hadn’t been part of the plan, for Sam and Quackity to go off the rails, but he’d work around it anyway, nothing ever went entirely to plan, the real skill was working around those hiccups and continuing on anyway, no matter the cost.
When Dream and Sapnap were kids, they would always make treehouses together. When they got a bit older and could take care of themselves more, they’d often run away for a few days at a time and live in badly built treehouses instead of resorting to caves. Often it was just a couple of beds, a chest, a furnace and a crafting table on a treetop, but sometimes Dream would try and make it look prettier, especially when they were on bigger trees with more room. Sapnap always burnt them down by the end of their trip, when they’d finally had enough of each other to get mad over something stupid and come back home to be around different company for a bit. Dream had always tried to help him through it first though, help him when he was feeling down or too angry for his own good. They were brothers, he was always going to help Sapnap, even if it cost him everything. Sapnap had said later, when they had met again after the nightmare armour fight, that Dream had betrayed him, that Dream had betrayed them all. But he hadn’t betrayed Sapnap, right? They had been brothers, had promised each other they’d help each other through everything no matter what. Dream had always been there for Sapnap, had always tried to help even when he thought Sapnap was being an idiot or was acting out of anger, why had Sapnap not been there to help him? Even if he had been in the wrong, even if everything he had had been too much, Sapnap would have pulled him back, right? Dream had forgotten how many fights he had pulled Sapnap out of when they were younger, when Sapnap had been so hot headed and made all the wrong decisions, surely Sapnap would have returned the favour, would have helped him. Why hadn’t he?
He needed new bases, areas where he could hang out and hide when necessary, and so he decided to make one near Techno’s base. Despite herding Tommy there, he felt somewhat safe around Techno. It was dangerous, to let himself feel safer around someone who he didn’t trust not to betray him, but he did anyway. A treehouse he’d make, for old times sake, to remind him of why he was doing all this. Spruce trees were the most common around the syndicate base, unfortunately four by four ones would stick out too much, they weren’t native to the area, but a good spruce tree would do the trick. He chose a tree in the forest outside the base, hidden enough that nobody would find it easily, close enough that he could run to Techno if he needed help. But why would he do that? Dream could handle things himself mostly, he needed help occasionally, but he could handle a fight. Pretending to be helpless before he got taken to prison had been annoying, he could have so easily escaped and fought some of them. Why would he need to run to Techno?
One thing he hadn’t anticipated however, was the tiredness. He guessed his body was finally in a place to fix up and rest, but that meant he was tired so much, some days he was so tired he couldn’t get out of bed. Other times his hands wouldn’t stop shaking, to the point where he guessed even Tommy could fight him and win. He hated it, he needed to be able to work, to fight, to move. He needed to not need help. He was getting better though, as much as he hated to admit it, Phil’s advice to sleep more did help. He didn’t want to sleep, he wanted to train, to gain back the strength he had lost, to become someone who could look after himself. The base near Techno’s became his usual hiding spot, which was bad. He didn’t want to be close to Tommy, now living with the Syndicate as per his plan, or near Techno and show how close they were. But he did need Techno’s help, with him being tired too much, he needed Techno or Punz to help him out with simple tasks. Techno was easier to explain, even if it would set back the plan more in the short term, Punz was trusted more by everyone, he wasn’t the one who broke him out of prison, no Punz was the one who had “betrayed” him and helped put him in the prison to begin with.
“Well, looks like you’ve finally got a home Dream,” Techno joked at him a few weeks into recovery, after Dream had finally stayed in the same place for more than three days in a row.
“I don’t wanna live here,” Dream replied.
“HEH, what, you actually want to be homeless?”
Dream didn’t want to be homeless, he wanted to not have to rely on them. He wanted to be able to live by himself, work by himself. Relying on others made him feel weak, well he was weak but he wanted - needed to get better. Relying on others had led to him thinking Sam wouldn’t let anyone in to torture him, he couldn’t let that happen again. Besides, he had always had multiple homes, small places stacked with chests and other useful items in a small area, he was never the kind of person to settle down in one place. He always had to be on the move, always had to be avoiding everyone else.
“Living alone would be better than living with your stinky ass,” Dream said, trying to turn the conversation away from being serious, and also Techno did smell like a pig.
They were in the training area below the bridge between Techno and Phil’s houses, another new addition he had to get used to, one that Tommy hadn’t been let onto so Dream had an area within their base to be safe, where they could act like the friends they were without having to hide parts of themselves.
Long gone were the days of Techno living in a hut alone in the middle of nowhere, like he had said when he first arrived at the prison, Techno had friends now. Friends who would back him up, even one who had helped him save someone she didn’t like from the Prison, and presumably make an enemy out of Sam in the process.
The walls were a fake sky, the air was stale, but it was cold, and there was more than just obsidian and lava. Dream felt claustrophobic in contained spaces now, he hated that he felt such a stupid fear. He had tried to hide it, the sweating palms and shaking, when he first arrived, but they had noticed. It was a miracle nobody had used it against him yet.
But no, they had suggested ways to help, ways to calm himself down. It was annoying, he didn’t want nor need their help. OK, maybe he did need it, considering the panic attack he had almost had just entering the nether for the first time after escaping, but this was short lived, he shouldn’t get used to kindness, kindness towards him wouldn’t save the server.
Techno had a look in his eyes, something akin to sadness, or regret.
“Don’t fucking pity me Techno,” Dream said.
“Bruhhhhh, my monetization!”
He was having a bad day, a terrible day. He couldn’t get out of bed, he was too weak, too tired, he must have worked too hard the day before. He was trapped again. He had to get out, he couldn’t be trapped again. His room was bigger than the cell but not by much, his bed was smaller. He had to get out.
He tried getting up, only to collapse to the floor, unable to convince his muscles to move him any further. He was so tired, yet too awake. He needed air, he needed to move, he couldn’t move.
He managed to get a message to someone, Techno. He hated that he did, hated that he had called for help he really didn’t need. If only he could just walk he would be fine, he would be able to get out, be able to move. Now Techno would have to see him in this pathetic state.
A hand rested on his back, and Dream used all the energy he could muster to jerk away. He didn’t want pity. Was someone talking to him? He could only just hear something over the blood rushing in his ears. He was drowning, he was going to suffocate.
Blocks were broken and light cascaded into the room, the cold air hit him and forced itself into his lungs, he could breathe again.
Techno came to sit next to him, helping Dream untangle the sheets from his legs.
“Let’s help you back into bed,” Techno said softly.
Dream shook his head, he didn’t think he could manage words. He couldn’t go back into bed, the air was helping but he was still trapped. Although, if he wanted to get out he’d have to be carried so maybe it was better to stay. But he couldn’t, fuck. If he wanted to get out, and he needed to get out, he’d have to rely on Techno’s help again. He thought he was past this, he didn’t need their help as much, at least not this much. He was just using his and Phil’s friendliness until he could get away again, he didn’t want to need their help.
“Needin’ help isn’t a bad thing Dream,” Techno said quietly. He was still sitting on the floor next to Dream, not touching him but there nonetheless.
“There’s not anyone who doesn’t need help at some point,” He continued.
And yeah, while Techno was technically correct, but Dream wasn’t a kid anymore. He could do this by himself. Except he couldn’t.
“Don’t need a lecture,” Dream managed to get out, his voice quieter than usual, softer much to his disliking. He sounded as weak as he felt.
“Yeah but now I’ve got you trapped here I can talk all I want till I need to help with something.” So that was it then, Techno was going to talk at him until he asked for help.
“You’re using my disability against me,” Dream said, he was slowly regaining enough energy to speak more easily, but unfortunately for him he still didn’t have enough energy to move away from a certain ranting anarchist.
Techno chuckled, before continuing, “I know you want to be independent, we all do, and independence is good in a way, but the thing is, Dream, the thing is no person has ever lived entirely independently. Even after childhood, bro, you didn’t make your own clothes, and if you did you didn’t make the fabric. You don’t cook all the food you’ve ever eaten, or looked after all the crops or animals. You didn’t learn everythin’ by yourself. You see, Dream, you’re a person, and people weren't made to live on their own. We live in communities for a reason, and we should rely on each other to help everyone out. It makes less work in the long run as well. Dream, everyone deserves help, you included. Well, everyone but orphans of course, but that’s another thing,” Techno was rambling, he wasn’t entirely sure where he was going with this talk,
“Your old friends, they should have been there for you, to help you out of the hole you dug yourself, to stop you before you went too far. They didn’t help you, or maybe couldn’t, but don’t think you have to be by yourself just because others failed you. Now this doesn’t mean you can avoid responsibility, you still did all those things, but they should have been there to try and stop you at least. You’re my friend,” Dream refused to admit there were tears in his eyes, “and I'm not going to let you destroy yourself again.”
“Just… take me outside.”
He was waiting at the top of Punz’s tower, not because he needed the guy to do anything, just because he was lonely. He had admitted to Punz that the isolation had gotten to him, and well, maybe it was still getting to him. Not that he’d admit that, Phil and Techno were nice, when they could sneak away, but Punz was his friend, the person who knew about the plan from the start, who had agreed from the start. Dream was hidden, just in case they came back with company, which was unlikely, but still possible. The people of the server never did respect boundaries, and it had been the day Dream had escaped that Punz had managed to get rid of Hannah and a few others from claiming to live at the top of the tower. It had been perfect timing, but annoying to find out nonetheless. Punz did come, it took a while but he did come back to his tower. Dream slipped out from behind the chests, his body sore from staying in the same position for too long. His mask was pushed to the side, allowing Punz to see his expression, a weak smile and too tired eyes. He still wasn’t sleeping well, but it was better, he was getting better, he had to keep telling himself that.
“Hey man, you good?” Punz asked, seeming worried for Dream. And Dream felt that, for once, he wasn’t disgusted by the worry.
“Yeah, just,” he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to actually worry Punz, “might have to slow down the plan a bit,” he decided, a partial truth to make it look like he was taking care of himself, “it’s taking a bit to recover properly.”
“Yeah sure man, just let me know when you’re ready, ok?” Punz said as they stepped closer to Dream, who was trying to not so visibly lean against the chests, “take it easy, and let me know if you need help.”
Punz must have seen the face Dream made at that because he laughed, “I know I know, but seriously man, you’ve got me, I’ll take payment if it makes you feel better about it.”
Dream nodded, he’ll definitely do that, he repays his debts. Feeling a little stronger, his muscles thanking him from changing position finally, he moved to leave.
“I’ll, uh, I’ll let you know when I’m ready to begin the next phase of the plan,” He said, looking back at Punz, who was looking through a chest.
“Yeah man, and wait,” Punz closed the chest and turned towards Dream, “Take this, if I remember correctly they’re your favourite.” Punz dropped a flower on the ground. A poppy. Dream moved forwards to pick it up (he had to throw out some seeds, why did he even have those in his inventory anyway?). A poppy, his favourite flower. He’d once joked with Sapnap and George that he would change the floor of the community house to grass with poppies, had Punz been there? How did he know? Why were there tears in his eyes?
“I, uh, picked it up the day you went to prison,” Punz said, and Dream refused to look up, refused to let Punz see the tears, he just kept staring at the flower in his hands. He wanted to ask how Punz knew, but didn’t trust his voice not to give him away. He knew Punz could tell something was up, but he was too tired to hide his emotions, too tired of hiding, of pretending to be something he's not, of pretending to break parts of himself to keep Quackity happy, of healing and trying not to heal.
This time when a hand touched his shoulder he didn’t pull away, no, he had been depriving himself of contact for too long. Maybe he did need a hug.
Dream pulled closer to Punz, to his best friend, and wrapped his arms around him. Punz hugged him back - not saying anything much to Dream’s relief - and Dream pressed his head into Punz’s shoulder and finally let the tears flow. He cried for the first time in months, probably more than a year. He had held it in through the months playing the annoyingly yet unbroken prisoner, and before that as well, pretending to be the idiot who thought using everyone’s attachments to control them was a good idea. He had kept it in throughout all of that, since Sapnap had abandoned him, he had no one else, he had thought. Now over a year’s worth of tears were finally coming, and he was sobbing into Punz's shoulder, they were hugging tight. Prime, Dream had missed this. He hadn’t had human contact in a long time, well there was Techno in the prison, but they had tried to stay apart to avoid overheating. There had been Quackity’s fists.
But he wasn’t there anymore, no he was in Punz’s tower, he was safe. He could let it all out, he could finally show his hurt, allow himself to feel hurt. Eventually he stopped, ran out of tears, but stayed in Punz’s arms a little longer. Punz hadn’t said anything, just held him tight and allowed Dream space to let the barriers and walls he kept up to crumble, allowing him to finally be free to show how he actually felt, to let go of everything and let everything come crashing out in one big wave of emotion. And so there Dream stayed, in Punz’s arms, feeling safer than he had in over a year.
Punz had gotten him a poppy. His poppy. Dream didn’t know whether to keep it locked up in his enderchest for safekeeping or to put it in a flower pot to see it in the open, to see it in sunlight and watch it’s petals ruffle in a breeze. To watch it get stolen. No! No, it wouldn’t get stolen. He would get it back, he won’t allow it to be used against him, he won’t let it be Spirit’s leather.
His poppy would be safe. He felt safe in Punz’s arms and his poppy would stay with him.
The next time Techno visited Dream’s hideout by the arctic base, there was a poppy in a flower pot by the side of the bed. There was also Punz, sitting on the bed next to Dream. When Dream noticed him enter the base, he stood up, a grin clear on his face, mask moved aside. He went up to Techno and hugged him by surprise. Techno chuckled a little, surprised that Dream would so openly show affection, but hugged back anyway. He shot a confused look at Punz, who just grinned and gave him a thumbs up.
“Thank you,” Dream said into Techno’s chest.
“Yeah, uh, no problem, man,” Techno said back, both confused and happy with this new development, “so, Dream, what's the next step of this plan of yours?”
Dream stepped out of the hug,
“I’m going to patch things up with Sapnap, if I can.”