Harry never thought that it would be that hard to forget her. But that's why it hurts him so damn much - because he wasn't prepared. The pain is unstoppable but constantly changing. Even today, when he decided to take a day off of work and just do the laundry at home and then sit and watch TV for hours, when he looks at the pile of clothes on the floor, his heart starts beating fast and hurtful as if it's going to rip off his chest. It is the memory, connected to his dirty clothes, that triggered it. He remembers the last time Y/N was in his house. Back then they still used to fight a lot and never really listen to each other. It was a day or two before they actually broke up. And he hates these clothes because she used to do the laundry. He hates them because she loved when he kissed her after it and thanked her. Yes, he hates them because the last time he was able to really feel her, the chance was took from him by the sounds of the washing machine which reminded her how rare he did the laundry for both of them and that caused one of the last few fights they had. And no, they didn't end up as in the beginning of their relationship.He kicks one of his old socks, laying on the ground, and it flies to the bathroom. He curses the open door and the washing machine he hits his big toe in, the pain in his chest, even the fucking laundry basket. He wants to throw it away and to never see it again. It's shocking him what of an influence she has on him even after just two months of seeing each other. Her scent is haunting him, reminding him of lavender and jasmine. Images of her, doing domestic shit and looking like a Greek goddess, are burning his eyes from the inside out. When he closes his eyes, he forgets she's not there with him and almost believe he's seeing her right in front of him for real. When he lays naked in bed at night, cold and lonely, he wishes for her to come and warm him. He almost hears her voice from time to time, usually when he makes himself something for dinner or brushes his teeth in the bathroom. It's driving him crazy to not have her next to him, he knows it. It's true abstinence. The last time he really did saw her, was in Starbucks. He went there to buy himself a coffee so he won't fall asleep in the studio. He didn't know why he kept coming back there and keeping the band busy when he hadn't had inspiration from weeks. But the last thing he expected was to meet her at 8 a.m. when he couldn't control even his eyes from shutting down. The thought from keeping himself from embarassing himself as he clinges onto her and begs her to come back to him, is crazy. How can he prevent his body from coming alive when all it waited for was exactly this moment?And it came alive. His eyes opened wide, almost falling out of his lids. His mouth filled with spit, hungry to taste her lips or her skin, or everything she could give him. His hands felt empty and he had to dig them in the pockets of his jeans to prevent a sudden reflex. Even thought he didn't want to admit it even more than anything else, even his cock throbbed in his pants. Then the pain flushed through his whole body and almost made him collapse on the floor. It was so fucking hard not to hug her from behind, smell the scent of her hair and kiss her cheek.All they did was to say rushed hi to each other. All they did was to avoid each other. All they did was fighting for survival after the storm on their own.Sara, Mitch, Clare and Adam knew. Even the boys from his previous band knew. Of course all of them knew. They constantly called him a wanker for ruining the best relationship in his life. But in the same time they supported him too, took him to his favourite places and made him get outside of his house when he didn't feel like getting out of bed and living this day.The night he takes his phone from the drawer beside his bed, is cold and lonely. Tears run down on his cheeks, wetting his skin and reminding him once again how addicted he is to her. He needs her more than anything and nothing is making it up for him if she's not there, laying on his chest. So this is the breaking point. The moment he doesn't care anymore about egos and fights, sounding pathetic or embarrassing himself. All he cares is about the hole in his chest, growing with every second he's not touching her."Yes?" she sounds confused and tired when she picks up the phone call. Did he just wake her up? The image of how beautiful she is while sleeping almost burns his mind."I-I..." he stops, not sure where to start from. "Sorry for bothering you. I know that it's midnight and you had a really long day at work but... I miss you. I miss you so fucking much, Y/N. You can hang up any moment you want but before you do it, i just have to ask you if i can drop by your house.""Wait, like right now?"He nerviously runs his fingers trought his hair and tugs on it, not sure what to tell her. His eyes are red and puffy from crying when he looks himself in the mirror. And the morning is wiser than the night, but he misses her. And that's what matters the most."Yes, I can be there in ten minutes."Then there is a long lasting silence between them. It drives him crazy to the point he feels like punching his head into the wall. But he doesn't even think for a second to hang up because she doesn't react to his plead. Even thought he knows how unhealthy for him is to stay on the phone and wait for her denial, for him to break his heart all over again. "Okay."And this is all he needs to just grab the car keys from the table in the living room and to rush out in the middle of the night, searching the street for his car. He used to like driving with the windows down and the radio on. But not anymore, their breakup took this away from him. But he isn't complaining, not when he's just ten minutes away from his maybe-a-second-chance-maybe-not. After he knocks on the door and she opens it from him, the first thing that falls from his mouth is:"I'll do the laundry".She bursts in laugh but after seeing him just nervously standing there with red eyes and tired face from not sleeping enough, she lets him in."Why do you tell me this?" She asks when he sits on the couch. "I was just... Just" he shuts his mouth, watching her move to the kitchen counter and turning the coffee machine on. "You know that this is one of the reasons why we broke up. I wasn't doing the fucking laundry. And I wasn't helping you with the dishes every time after we ate at home. And I wasn't paying enough attention to you because I was too preoccupied with work. But I'm here now, telling you I'll do these things. Just tell me if you want me to."She gives him the mug of coffee and reaches to touch him, but then stops herself, letting her arm freeze in the air. She didn't ask him how he wants his coffee. It wasn't necessarily because she knows all too well, every detail of him. "It wasn't you the only one who was the reason why it didn't work. I was scared from all the feelings you made me feel even after such a short period of dating. So I used to kind of fight them back, always finding why to start a fight. And I'm sorry for being a coward when you was nothing but fearless about what we had. I'm really sorry, Harry. But if we want to start something new, we should first make sure we won't do the same mistakes."He almost starts crying when sees her sit on the couch next to him and grab his hand in her both. They're so small and incomparable to his. So that's why they fit so well. "I miss you" he shrugs and fights the urge to kiss her with his mouth wide open - just like his heart. "I can't do anything about it. And it hurts. So whatever you'll want from me, it doesn't matter. I'll do it."She nods and gently wipes off the single tear that fell from his eyes. "I don't want you to shout from a roof top that you love me. I don't want the stars from the sky. I just want you to be there for me when I need you and to help me with the domestic shit sometimes. That's it, Harry. Nothing else. And I won't run from you anymore, I promise. I had my lesson, sitting on this couch for two weeks and not being able to eat and sleep because of my love for you.""Wait" he scrunches his eyebrows and his whole face lits up. "What did you just say?""Umm, that I won't run anymore?""No, no, after that!"Her own face lits up now, the drained color from it coming back again."Is it true?" he asks, not knowing if he should take her in his arms and spin her around the room or if he should take her right there on the couch."Yes, I love you. I love you."She bursts out in tears the same time he wraps his arms around her waist and presses his lips on hers. It's funny how they couldn't even say hi to each other before a few days but now they're both crying in each other's arms, confessing their love for the other.
