#c3breathe

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Love for Christmas

Each December, we find ourselves in the midst of great sales, great decorations, and great pressure to buy the perfect gift or give the perfect dinner party. But the one thing that we should be focusing on is finding within ourselves, or developing and cultivating a greater love, love for each other. Whether it is making a conscious decision that we will love deeper, carry joy with us making every encounter more important or being kinder and more gentle to everyone around us.  We can treasure and grow the great love we’ve found in our lives.  Do our family, our partners, children, friends, pets, and supportive colleagues, need to see more of that love in us, can we dig deeper and find more in us to give out?

 Jesus said “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you to do” (John 15:12). We are led by God to realise that forgiveness is a critical part of great love. The more we love someone, the more likely we are to be hurt by them, and to hurt them ourselves. Without forgiveness, the great love we have is fragile and fleeting. Forgiveness is the glue that keeps us bound to each other and keeps our bonds strong. One of the best ways to show someone how deep your love is, is to forgive them.

 If we are blessed to have great love in our lives, there are many the elderly, singles, those who suffered divorce and bereavement and many other hardships – who may be hiding how desperately lonely they are during the holiday season. Let us be generous, and share our love with all this season. Reach out your hand in love and invite those around you for a drink, or dinner, and let them know that they are valued. Love is the greatest gift we’ve ever been given. Let us share this our greatest eternal gift that knows no height or depth let us share it with all we meet spreading Christmas Joy and the love of God everywhere we go.

God can do anything; you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams (Ephesians 3:20-21). He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

You may be the only one sharing love with that person you reached out too this Christmas. Be that one.

 Have a wonderful Christmas.

- Sarah Glover

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Peace for Christmas

Often times my biggest understanding of concepts of faith come from the people around me. I asked a good friend what she thinks peace is and this was her description: peace is not just the absence of strife, it has its own presence, its own authority. At Christmas time, retaining peace can be like trying to catch your own shadow; you can see it there, but it’s just out of reach. It’s ironic because it’s literally what the season is supposed to be about and yet this can be one of the craziest times of the year and we can forgo peace almost completely. As each Christmas of my adulthood passes I become more aware of the strife that can come at Christmas time. No longer can I rely on my wonderful mother to sort presents, plans and parties. Suddenly I am responsible for my own time, appointments and budgets every single December. And as my community of friends and family grows, so does the responsibility I feel to show them that I love them through the giving of gifts and time spent. And I feel this weight of responsibility to measure up to the arbitrary expectations that I have set for myself in my head. And then it becomes stressful. I could go on for a few more paragraphs about the ins and outs of my stressful season thus far, and I’ll be honest, I just deleted several dozen words about all that. Even in writing this, clarity has landed gently in my mind. Honestly, any season of life can become stressful. Any one thing that we love to do can cause us equal amounts of pleasure and anxiety. It’s all about perspective. I want to have the perspective of peace over Christmas. I want to be able to look at all the things - busy and quiet, fun and necessary, boring and interesting - and appreciate them all for what they are supposed to be: opportunities for me to intentionally spend time worshiping God and celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. That’s what this season is all about right? That’s where the peace is supposed to come from. That’s why it’s not just the absence of something. Peace is the presence of Jesus in everything. I like to think that Mary, in the midst of the madness of public scrutiny, long travels and I am sure much self-doubt, what brought her through it all with such dignity and grace, was the peace she had in her heart. She knew her purpose. She knew that greatness would come of all that she was going through. She knew that God had her back. Her circumstances were not peaceful. But her heart was. I want to really encourage you to take a minute to shift your perspective to one of peace. If you can find no peace in your Christmas season, you’ve missed something. It’s there. And once you grab on to it, peace overcomes the anxiety and the stress. It infiltrates the family tension or the wariness that many jobs in limited time can bring. Peace coupled with Joy can turn most situations into times of greatness, not because our circumstances miraculously change, but because our hearts do. I pray for peace for you this Christmas. I also pray that all the plans you have go well. But even if they don’t, I pray that you are able to see the work of Jesus within them and know that no matter what, He’s there, He loves you and His peace will always surround you. Keep searching for it. You’ll see it soon. - Sarah Hewitson

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Joy for Christmas

I have had a number of opportunities in the recent past, which have potentially involved change in my own and my family’s life.

I would say that I am a planner (probably not a very good one!) and I like to know what is coming ahead. Change doesn’t frighten me (in fact, it quite excites me, especially ahead of the change!) but I probably overthink a lot of things and anticipate what may happen in light of the changes to come.

Recently, there have been a couple of occasions when changes I had anticipated have not come to pass. I had imagined myself, and my family, a long way down the road of change… and then realised that none of this is going to happen.

How have I responded to these situations? Well, there have been mixed emotions; disappointment sometimes, relief at other times, a sense of loss perhaps, and even loss of self worth.

Then I take a step back to see the bigger picture… I know that God has good plans for my life. I have never lost my sense of trust in God and I always pray about any opportunities and seek God’s will for me in these situations before I go ahead. I believe God has put these situations in my path to teach me good lessons about myself and to teach me more about Him.

In life, I often get consumed in the “what is to come” that I forget to be thankful for the moment. I need to choose joy today, tomorrow and the day after – whatever that might look like!

As I think about the Christmas story, and in particular Mary’s response to all that takes place, I often think how I would have reacted in that situation. Luke chapter 1 tells of the angel visiting Mary to give her the news about the birth of Jesus. It says in verse 29 “Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.” Mary was also afraid and questioned how this could happen. I think, at the very least, I would have been confused and afraid and would have had a few questions of my own! But ultimately Mary said, “I am the Lord’s servant, may your word to me be fulfilled” (Luke 1:38).

How accepting are we of the situations we find ourselves in? I’m sure Mary had thought ahead to her future and I’m sure it didn’t look a lot like the situation the angel presented to her.

Mary’s song of praise in Luke 1:46-55 is just breath-taking: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour”. Mary anticipates what is to come for her and the implications of the news the angel brought her, she chooses to worship and sing praises to her God. What an example to us!

Every Christmas, I pray to become more like Mary – to choose to worship God and choose joy everyday despite not fully knowing or understanding all that is to come, to trust God fully.

So this Christmas, in all the planning and thinking ahead to all that is to come, I challenge you… choose joy today.

- Lesley van der Walle

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Hope for Christmas

So, the first Sunday of Advent is here! By now calendar doors are being ripped open, trees are being decorated, cards are being sent and the crazy busy Christmas shopping has begun!

The world goes crazy as we are all preparing for the event of the year, Christmas. The lead up to Christmas seems to have got bigger and bigger as the years go on, so commercialised that somehow the true meaning of Christmas can sometimes gets overlooked.

Advent actually means 'coming' in Latin, the coming of Jesus into the world. So across these weeks of advent this year we would like to prepare our hearts as we remember the true meaning of Christmas. We will be posting a blog every Sunday of advent; we will start by reflecting on how we can find hope in the Christmas story.

Hope is one of the 3 Christian virtues, along with faith and charity. It is mentioned 129 times in the Bible, and especially at this the time of year we see it around our houses, on our mantle pieces, on tree decorations, on Christmas cards. It is a word we are all familiar with. But what do we actually put our hope in?

Hope is a feeling of trust and there are many things we can put our hope in. Hope in a football team, hope in lottery numbers, hope for the next promotion, hope in trying for a baby.

People can become hopeless when they have lost their hope, or what they had their hope in has let them down. If we set our hope on a higher name, one that will never let us down, then it doesn't matter what situation what we faced with, we will never have to lose hope.

In the Christmas story, Mary was visited by angel Gabriel who told her that even though she was a virgin she would miraculously give birth to a baby and they would call him Jesus. The angel then told Mary that her cousin Elizabeth who was unable to have children was also going to have a baby. Both of these miraculous births came to pass because “no word from God will ever fail” (Luke 1:37). If the Bible is the word of God then, if we put our hope in what the Bible tells us, we will never lose hope.

When Mary visited Elizabeth, the baby in Elizabeth's womb “leaped at the sound of Mary's voice” (Luke 1:41) and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. Elizabeth, overcome with joy, exclaimed that Mary was blessed and highly favoured because she believed God's promises would come to pass and was not relying on her own worldly strength but on the power of the Holy Spirit.  Mary, being filled with the Holy Spirit herself, began to sing of the greatness of God and the hope he had filled her with. If we allow ourselves to be filled and continue to be filled with the Holy Spirit daily, we too will see the hope God has given us. All we have to do is ask God to fill us with his Holy Spirit.

When Mary gave birth to Jesus, true hope was born, the hope of the world. He came to reveal God's character to us, and to ultimately be the perfect sacrifice to die for our sins and rise again so we can have hope beyond the grave. Because Jesus was born, we can have hope not only for the future but also for eternity. The whole of creation can have hope for eternity because there will be a time where Jesus will return again, a second coming, where the book of Revelation tells us that he will “wipe every tear from our eyes” as there will be a world without any suffering (Revelation 21:4).

Whatever situations we may find ourselves in this Christmas season, one thing will never change; we can always find our hope in Jesus.

- Hannah Budhi

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This Girl Can Thrive, Not Just Survive

When you get to my age you may well have met with many painful challenges in some measure and I have had my faith tested and developed through the refiner’s fire. But God has called us to be more than conquerors through Him who loved us “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 8:37-38.

Here are some life lessons from me on how I came to thrive even in some of the darkest moments of my life:

1 Everyone has something challenging in their life.

I have come to believe that my tests are the ones that God thinks are best for me.  When I hear about what others are going through I feel that I wouldn’t be able to survive, let alone thrive, in those circumstances.  When trust has been broken I truly have learnt that God is totally dependable and my faith has grown so much stronger.  He is my bridegroom, my husband and my lover as well as my father and friend.  When I learn not to expect people to be perfect, as I am not, I can draw so much more from the well of God’s perfect love which then overflows with mercy, forgiveness, patience and kindness - both to myself and then to others.  

2 Learning how to control my emotions.

This has come both from research into how to act truthfully on stage, as well as understanding someone close to me with really challenging behaviour.  In Proverbs, we read “As he thinks within himself so he is” - that is why we are told to “take captive our thoughts for Christ” and to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind”.  Emotions are stirred by what we think. Emotions are the bridge between the mind and the body and are purely involuntary. The only way to change emotions is to change your mind about what is in front of you. In my really difficult relationship moments when the emotions and thoughts are so uncontrollable I read Psalm 46, which brings peace as I focus on the truth of who God is.

3 Distinguishing between truth and reality.

Reality can change but truth does not because truth is Jesus and He is God and he never changes.  This year my financial reality changed from one of salary to pension. The truth is that God supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory - that was as true when I was working as when I am not. In Revelation, we read that God himself will be with us and he will wipe every tear from our eyes and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.  I can choose to live in that truth rather than in my present reality, to set my mind and heart on things above where Christ dwells.  And out of that comes the overflow of His presence into the lives of others rather than the diminishing of my soul as I gaze inwards.

4 Never give up on your relationship with God.

A week after my miscarriage, my son, aged 4, went into Intensive Care with breathing difficulties and was intubated for a week.  On his first night there we were told that he was the 2nd most poorly patient in the hospital that night.  In the bed next to him was a drug lord with 7 gunshots who had more chance of survival. We had prayer meetings constantly in the waiting room when people visited.  It took some time for him to fully recover and as I also grieved my miscarried baby. I realised I was not going to get through this without my best friend, Jesus. I read my bible, worshiped and prayed every day, because I am so totally dependent on Him. In my worst days of mental illness when I couldn't pray or read, I would put my bible under my pillow and simply say ‘Jesus’. As a result I know that God is always for me and never against me. I feel His presence with me always, which is the greatest blessing of all.

Everything I have been through will in some way be redeemed by God and used for His glory.

“I have come that they may have and enjoy life and have it in abundance” John 10v10.

- Anne Beaumont

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This Girl Can Let Down the Walls

Walls can often be there because of what’s happened to us in the past, because of fear, of doubt, of wanting to protect ourselves, to keep ourselves safe, to make sure that we don’t get hurt.

God doesn’t want us to have walls around us. When Jesus died, the curtain was torn in two, which gave us complete access to God. There are no barriers between us and Him and He wants the whole of us to come to Him. We have a choice whether to let down the walls or not, to let people in or not, to be open with God or not.

In my walk with God I’ve learnt how important it is to let down the walls. Before I was a Christian I didn’t let people in. I was around loads of people, had great friends but actually we didn’t share things with each other. We’d make sure that the conversation was kept light hearted, and when I was sad or going through tough times, I used to get with my friends and rather than talk about stuff, we’d get drunk.

However, God wants us to be in community - God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Jesus had His disciples, God has called His people to be the Church - these all demonstrate community. We’re not meant to do life on our own. We’re meant to be vulnerable with people, to let them in. I’m not saying we have to with everybody, but with people who you trust and have confidence in. The definition of vulnerable is ‘exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally’.

I believe that one of the reasons why I kept my walls up was because I had no self worth. Things that had happened in my life backed up what I felt about myself - that I was a horrible person, that I wasn’t good to be around and that I destroyed everything that was around me. I tried to do life just me and God - I was independent, having gone to university far from family and friends, not being in any long term romantic relationships and wanting to stand on my own two feet and I thought I could keep up those walls. 

However, through a few Christian friends I was starting to realise that God was showing me how important it is to let down the walls and open up to people. It would help me in my healing and bring me into His truth of who I am in Him, as my identity as a child of God, loved, chosen, precious and created in His image.

God had given the land to the Israelites and it was theirs to claim, but the city of Jericho seemed impossible because of the wall surrounding it. God told them to march around the walls for 7 days before it would collapse (Joshua 6 v 1-20). They marched in faith and the walls collapsed.

I believe it takes faith for us to let down our walls because when we do, we come into all that God has for us. God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11-13). But I believe the fullness of that will only come into being when we let down the walls.

What are the walls that exist in your life? I encourage you to let them down. It’s hard, but it’s so worth it.

- Lou Walbank

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This Girl Can Set the Tone

Have you ever over-reacted, and known that it was more about you, and your issues, than the person or situation in front of you at that moment? It doesn’t feel good, does it? In fact, now you just have two issues – the deep-seated issue from your past that made you react that way, and the guilty realisation that you just made someone else suffer unfairly because of it! So perhaps next time when you’re in a similar situation you deal with it differently: you are kind and considerate and patient, despite still having the same internal irritation as before. Better? Not really! Well, sort of – for the other person’s benefit. But how has that left you? Still with your issue, your pain, your insecurity. So what is the best response?

A while back, me and my husband found ourselves in need of marriage counselling. The pain and baggage of past failures was bringing one of the two scenarios mentioned above into our daily reality. Anna Voskamp, in her book The Broken Way, says it like this: “Hurt is a contagion. When one person hurts in a family, everyone hurts”. Margaret Stunt, a Christian speaker, says it like this: “Hurt people hurt people”. I was beginning to set a nasty tone wherever I went. But there was hope. 

A friend led me to a counsellor who as part of the process of recovery and restoration told us that our “homework” was to each separately write a lament. I had no idea what he meant. He then showed us examples of how people in Biblical times would “cry out to God” as they expressed their anguish and disappointment at their situation. It wasn’t about crafting something pretty; it was about getting to grips with your raw emotion, about letting your pain and bitterness and “it’s not fair-ness” out. There was no guilt attached to the “tantrum” – you had total permission to rant and rave. In fact, in the Old Testament book of Job chapter 3, the main character laments “I will speak out the bitterness of my soul” – hardly the sentence that you would expect a Bible character to come out with, but as this man wrestles with his situation for chapter after chapter you get the impression that his unbridled honesty is a vital key to his eventual transformation. For me, once I started to write my own lament it was like a flood gate – all the difficulties that I had tried to contain came out in a gush – I couldn’t write fast enough! Another friend recently told me that for her lament she would use colour and paint as the way to get out all the emotions in her that she couldn’t even find words to express. So what happens next? Am I simply to lie in a heap of brokenness having just put all my anguish down on paper?

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. The resulting piece being even more beautiful than before as it shows its history of brokenness and inadvertently praises the one whose workmanship brought it back to life.

As a Christian I believe that there is only One who can put us back together with full integrity: Jesus. When he died on that cross 2000 years ago, he did it so that our brokenness was not the end of the story. He did it so that our brokenness could be transformed into wholeness and hope. In the book of Psalms, chapter 147, it says “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds”. It’s a strange mystery that in human terms makes no sense at all, but as I live out my life, and deal with its disappointments as well as its amazing joys, I know that He is the difference that has enabled me to change from the fake smile when I still have disappointments festering inside, to someone who is prepared to grapple honestly with the struggles of life so that I set the best tone not just for others, but also for myself. Learning how to write my lament has been a big part of bringing the words from the book of Matthew into reality for me, and I believe it can do the same for you too. Try it.

Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”.

- Sandra Roper

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This Girl Can Make Her Dreams Come True

I am a dreamer. I love to imagine and create. I love to talk about all the potential that things have. I latch onto ideas really easily, and to some, I come across as really easily carried away. I’ll be honest, this is one of my favourite things about myself. I am easily excited but I’m really not easily disappointed.

My prime example of this would be a few weeks ago. It was my birthday on Sunday 1st October. Birthdays are very important to me. In some cases, I love other peoples birthdays more than they do! I will organise parties, presents, cards to be signed, things to be baked for people, because everything in me wants them to be celebrated. It’s just so exciting. One of my housemates was responsible for helping another friend organise a surprise for me. She told me that I couldn't make any plans on the Tuesday night after my birthday, but refused to give me any other details. She did however say ‘don’t get too excited. I don’t want you to be disappointed.’ This was a serious quandary for me. How can I not get excited about a surprise? Especially when you won’t tell me anything. It could literally be anything, with anyone! Her concern I believe was that I would hype it up in my head and then when the reality hit, it would not measure up.

The truth is though, that I don’t work that way. For me the most exciting part is that someone (in this case I didn't know who yet) thought well enough of me to want to surprise me with something. I was already pleased, touched, and grateful. The rest of it was almost irrelevant to the level of appreciation that I have for it. As it turned out though, it was dinner with a few of my close friends and some extremely competitive games after - that’s genuinely my idea of the best kind of night.

I tell you all of this, to say this. Sometimes people don’t dream or have expectations for fear of disappointment. The bible does say to guard your heart and not to be foolhardy. But what if we could live a life of faith that was to strongly geared towards trusting God’s will for your life that you could dream big and not get disappointed if it doesn't work out the way you want it to? Or if god has something different for you, realise that you are called to something more than you could possibly imagine and trust that God is taking you there.

I have three small thoughts for you around this topic:

1 Dream open endedly.

Don’t let your ideas for the future get so narrowly focused that you leave to room for God to be creative. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we plan, but that does not mean we are not going where we should. Proverbs 19:21 says “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Be open enough to let God’s plan seep into your heart. And go with it!

2 Don’t let your dreams for the future distract you from your present.

Sometimes we are afraid to deal with the hurdles in front of us so we look to the future in the hopes that if we focus on that we won’t have to deal with the now. You don’t want to be taking the challenges of this season into the next one. That season has challenges of it’s own. But remember that you’re not alone in your journey so seek God’s help and the support of those around you and deal with stuff now so you can thrive in your future.

3 Dream with God.

Jesus is in fact your best friend. He only has eyes for you. He longs to join you on your journey and in your dreams. Don’t be afraid to say them out loud and give them to Him. He knows them anyway. The bible says that God has given you the desires of your heart. You can trust Him with them.

The journey that I am on at the moment is one where God is really wanting me to spend time with him one on one. Just him and me and a cup of tea. I am doing my best to create a little space for me in my home where I can sit and not be distracted. And so I would like to pass that challenge to you. Maybe you already spend time with God, just the two of you, maybe you have that place. If you do, awesome, please share your experience with others and encourage them. Because it’s not easy for everyone to do that.

I know that I live in a glass half full world and that it can frustrate people sometimes. It’s not because I’m naive or I don’t want to acknowledge that things are not always great. Life is hard. I have been through heart break and rejection and the numbing of emotion like everyone else. In some ways I’m dealing with the consequences of ‘not dealing’ when I was younger still and it’s a very frustrating process.

But I do believe that we need to look at the world through a lens of joy and to dream about the potential that life has for you. God created us to dream, and to dream big. Don’t let fear stop you from doing that.  Be the girl that can make her dreams come true.

- Sarah Hewitson