So all these whispers of a shooting star story... does that have anything do with the reason you have prosthetic wings?
"I really do wish you wouldn't make me recount it, but I will if I must. I nearly got both me and my now partner killed entirely on my own recklessness, then proceeded to lose a couple of limbs and an ear about it, so it's not exactly a story I like telling."
"We were, what, no more than 3 half-sweeps when it happened,"
> Badger's note: Because the planet's orbit is so far out from its star, Alahstian sweeps are really fucking long, so this means, like, 8 or 9 years old.
"And we were out in the backyard of the palace, for once not straying out too far, when I saw a shooting star pass over the palace. They're pretty common, usually chunks of space debris that dip a little too far into orbit and land somewhere. So, of course, Sorbit and I ran after it and headed into the woods to see if we could find it."
"Now, in child Xylova's defense, you certainly can find shooting stars. They do actually land on the ground. But we were woefully unprepared for a journey like that, on top of being young children..."
"A couple hours in, of course, a few nearby weather stations went down and the atmospheric converters went temporarily offline. This isn't too rare of an occurrence for one station, but apparently there was a grid failure that kicked several offline. Alahsti's atmosphere is naturally very thin and those converters are critical for retaining breathable air and warmth near the ground, so... Over about half an hour the temperature more than halved from a slight wintry chill to a bit below freezing."
"We got lost. At some point all we could do was try and shelter in place and not freeze."
You pause for a long moment.
"They finally found us the next morning. We both had severe hypothermia-- I couldn't feel my wings since the sun went down the night before, and I'd been sitting there with Sorbit held in my lap with my head on top of theirs for so long that I couldn't feel half of my face either. It's a miracle neither of us lost any fingers... But my wings weren't so lucky. Nor was Sorbit's tail."
Another day, another round-up of recent submissions to the fantrolldex.
Today, we had 4 new contributors and 8 new submissions, bringing the total up to 21 Poketrolls!
Just to let everyone know that we would prefer for any submissions to not be made anonymously, because it makes it more difficult for us to figure out if we’ve obtained permission from the character’s owner to include their poketroll on this blog. If we receive any anonymous submissions, we will DM the creator just to double check if they’re happy for us to add their character to the list.
We have updated the rules page to include this new addition.
Stats
Currently, we have seen 21 total poketrolls, and catalogued 20 unique poketrolls.
The most popular pokemon to be fantrollified at the moment is Hisuian Zoroark, with 2 entries! We love our evil foxes full of malicious illusions here.
The most popular type at the moment is normal, with 5 poketrolls. Currently, we have not catalogued a single grass, poison, ground, bug, or rock type Pokemon!
The most popular generation at the moment is generation 4 (Sinnoh), with 4 poketrolls, however generations 2, 7, and 8 are all very close behind. Currently, the only generation not represented so far is gen 9.
We have also now catalogued 4 out of 8 eeveelutions!
Finally, we have catalogued our very first shiny poketroll, how lucky!
Today’s Submissions
A list of all poketrolls submitted today will be under the cut. Thanks again to all our contributors!:
From @goddesstrolls we have the Shattered Star crew, consisting of Zarali Pharos, a Hisuian Zoroark troll; Darvai Pharos, a Darkrai troll; and Typhos Caphia, a Hatterene troll!
From @cadavertrolls we have Cybyrn Hexcyn, a shiny Umbreon troll!
From @memurfevur we have Keraunos, a Raikou troll!
And finally, from @sunnetrolls we have Xurkit Wiyrre, a Xurkitree troll; Poltea, a Polteageist troll; and Vapore Lution, a Vaporeon troll!
I'm glad you got away from that place then and found groups of people that care about you ❤️ I heard you're an all around fav by other employees and that you make everyone's day better!
> His demeanor shifts pretty noticeably at the change in topic and with the reassurances.
"Do you think so? I am glad..."
> Snow seems a little too caught off guard by your words to articulate the other thoughts in his mind, so he trails off instead.
Amprus ran as fast as they could holding their bleeding left arm. They were lucky they got away with only a single gunshot wound after that blueblood got the drop on them. There was no way he was the only one, though. They were one on four snipers occupying that building, and if this blueblood gang was smart (Which, very unfortunately, they usually are), there were more going after the others. They were on the lowest floor of the four Marks-- the second one. Marsom was on the fourth, Teirel was on the sixth, and Jayhut was on the roof.
They needed to warn them to get out to safety.
Amprus removed a walky talky from their pocket and pressed the talk button. Hopefully their warning wouldn't get to them too late.
"Marsom! Teirel! Jayhut! We've been breached! I killed one, but there's likely more headed toward you! You need to get the fuck out of dodge!"
"Fuck. Are you hurt? You don't sound too good." Jayhut was the first to get back to them as they ran up the stairs headed toward the fourth floor.
"I'm fine! Just out of breath from running! I'm headed your way!" they fired back.
"What do you mean you're headed our way? Run, idiot! How are you going to tell us to get out and y--" Marsom's scolding was abruptly cut off.
"Marsom?? Marsom, come in! Pick up, damn you! Marsom!!" Teirel's demands were desperate as she begged her kismesis to respond.
Amprus threw open the door of the fourth floor stairwell and made a beeline to where they knew Marsom was stationed. They found him being strangled by a blueblood woman easily twice his size. As they ran forward toward his assailant, they pulled a tanto knife out of one of their pockets to stab her. However, a noise behind them caught their attention, and they turned around just in time to see the cattle prod being thrust at them.
A second blueblood had been camping behind the door. Amprus dodged by a hair and cursed their luck. They didn't have time to get locked in a strife with this guy while Marsom's life was being choked out of him.
Damn.
Taking their eyes off the troll with the cattle prod was a death sentence for sure. One zap from that would render them useless, and they sucked at close combat. They wouldn't have enough time to equip and reload the crossbow on their back -- Which would be a difficult task in itself considering one of their arms had been shot -- and there was no way he'd let them get close enough with their knife to get a stab in.
Damn!!
The troll grinned maliciously as he swung and thrusted his weapon at them. All they could do was dodge and try not to get electrocuted. They had to think fast, and the second an idea came to mind they jumped on it.
"Marsom think fast!!" they shouted and threw their knife to him praying to whatever deity could hear them that he would catch it.
He didn't catch it, but they did manage to embed the knife into his attacker's leg and close enough for him to grab it and stab her enough times to get her to let go of the chain throttling him.
As he fell to the ground desperately wheezing and gasping for air, the female blue retrieved her chain and turned her attention to Amprus, who now had no weapons to defend themself. They couldn't take both trolls on their own even if they were armed, but if this was the night they died then they'd die on their feet with disrespect on their lips.
"Alright you fucking blueberries! Come catch your death!" Amprus taunted as they squared up. They accepted their fate. Tonight was the night their life was going to end.
Thankfully, tonight wasn't the night their life was going to end. A bullet cleanly pierced the male blueblood's head from behind, spraying them and the female blue with unflattering splatters of navy.
"Amprus, get the fuck out of the way!" Jayhut shouted from the doorway as he prepared to fire another shot from his rifle. Amprus ran to the side but was quickly pulled back into the line of fire by their ponytail and lifted off the ground by their neck by the blueblood.
"You take another shot and I crush her throat like a paper cup, rusty!" she threatened. Amprus choked and kicked as their lungs desperately begged for air. Jayhut nodded and set the rifle at his feet, then took a step back with his hands up. The blue smiled smugly at him before tightening the grip on Amprus's throat.
Then she screamed and fell to her knees as the tanto knife was thrusted into her back and dragged down from her shoulderblades to her lumbar.
"How's it feel getting carved open by a bronze, bitch?" Marsom asked coldly and stabbed her again before backing off. She released Amprus, freeing Jayhut to take the final shot as they scrambled away from her. With the threat eliminated, Jayhut walked over to Amprus just as Teirel came rushing into the room behind him to check on Marsom.
"Blueberries? Really? That's the insult you were going to go out on?" he asked deadpan as he took Amprus's injured arm and examined their bullet wound.
"Oh, I'm sooo sorry I couldn't come up with something cooler on the spot. I'll be sure to plan out my insults ahead of time from now-- OW!! What the fuck!?" Amprus's sarcasm was interrupted by a hard dope slap to the side of the head from Jayhut. He gave them a stern glare.
"That's for being a fucking dumbass. You were honestly going to take on two blues with a busted arm knowing damn well you can't fight? You're fucking lucky I got here when I did," he scolded them.
"Yeah, yeah. Ech, you sound just like Leriot," they grumbled as Marsom and Teirel approached the pair. He motioned for Marsom to hand him the knife.
"You better hope I don't tell him about this or he'll never let you leave his sight again," he warned, though there was a slight playfulness in his tone. Amprus merely rolled their eyes, completely oblivious to the knowing smiles on Marsom and Teirel's faces. "Anyways, there's no exit wound, so the bullet's still lodged in there. I'm going to dig it out. Try not to cry."
"Fuck you, I don't cry," they shot back and flipped him off as he wiped the blood from the blade off on his pants and went to work.
As Amprus squirmed and bit their lip and the others watched, there was a sense of safety among them. The fighting outside could still be heard, but inside this barren room on the fourth floor with two dead bluebloods and four rebels, they were safe for now.
