He was hurting. The withdrawals were agonizing as hell, but this was one of those times where Christian had deluded himself into thinking he was going to get clean. He knew he couldn’t keep living his life like this, and that his vices only lead him down one path. In spite of how depressed her was, how much he loved to remind himself that it was pointless to try and that he should end his own suffering and overdose, there was a bigger part of him that wanted to live. A part that wanted to see tomorrow; to get clean and save up money working an honest job and bounce back from all this to make his parents proud of their only child.
But he was hurting. The need for the high -- for any high, was so great that he couldn’t sleep, wasn’t hungry, felt paranoid, felt hot, then cold, then hot again... But I have to get clean this time. I have to mean it. He reminded himself. Maybe if he walked around enough he would exhaust his mind and body enough to pass out long enough for the craving to pass. Maybe if he had a taste of a lesser vice he could sustain himself and take some of the edge off. Yeah... Maybe... He’d always heard the a cold turkey flush of the system wasn’t easy, so maybe baby steps.... Just a taste....
It was in that moment that he smelled it. The gentle lure of nicotine that made most people cough and gag, but to Christian it was calming and inviting. He followed his nose and didn’t have to go far before he saw a man smoking, just simply looking at the cigarette making Christian shake with desire. Braving the pains of social interaction, Christian wandered over to the man as non-threatening looking at he could. “ Hey ... Think I can bum one of those off you?” He asked, trying to keep his voice as steady as he could.