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Who needs a shake weight when I can throw some heavy whipping cream in a jar and go to town? Plus, when I'm done with shaking that weight, I have butter!

#caffeinated hallucinations #food #butter #cottagecore #i wish i'd thought of baking some bread before this bc the butter turned out fantastic #maybe a little loose but it still tastes great #throw in some salt n it's perfect #also i get buttermilk too! that's liquid gold right there baby

What do you even go to jail for in Monopoly? Tax evasion?

#caffeinated hallucinations #monopoly

Wouldn't it be hilarious if Biden dropped dead this week? No assassination or anything like that, he just keeled over from a random heart attack or stroke or whatever, a week after the Queen croaked.

#caffeinated hallucinations #technically not bc i ain't caffeinated yet even tho i defo need to be #bro i'm so tired this morning idk why #whatever what tags do i need to add to this #usa #us politics #us president #joe biden #jokes #i am serious on that last one this is just a JOKE for FUNNY PEOPLE #i do not intend on murdering the president of the united states #gotta add that one for my nsa agent #love u boo

Thank you lady in my uni's dining hall who warned me about the really spicy pepper sauce for the Jamaican chicken n rice before I threw a massive glob on there, you single-handedly saved my tastebuds for the entire weekend

#caffeinated hallucinations #i only got a little to mix into my rice n i can still sorta feel it on my tastebuds #and that's with a bowl of grapes i got to cool it off #WHOO it was hella good tho #there was also a veggie melody to go with n the zucchini in there was amazing. eggplant kinda sucked tho which i'm kinda sad about #oh well. that with the chocolate cake/pie thing I got after was a v filling n delicious meal

Love spending my Labor Day weekend researching men's cologne from the 1950s. This is why I started writing

#caffeinated hallucinations #i'm writing a fic rn n the male lead is very much like smug rich asshole who'd use cologne from that time frame #i'm tempted to break my own rules n go for a bottle released in '65 #it's the perfect scent for my male lead but idk man

Wrote a fic last night that I was really into bc I thought the phrasing was clever, let's see how badly my sleep-deprived brain did

#caffeinated hallucinations #good morning i'm dying #i'm at work atm n it doesn't help that my buddy who's supposed on be on shift with me is late #i can't hold it too much against them bc they prolly overslept but like Temmie please show up so I can rip in peace

Second day of classes on my campus, I just saw someone pick up twelve-count box of fresh chicken nuggets and immediately spill it all over the floor

#caffeinated hallucinations #i aint religious but i am gonna pray for them #college #college life

Joy is stored in the Arkansas Game & Fish Commission Mobile Aquarium

#caffeinated hallucinations #arkansas #fish #mobile aquarium #i saw one of these driving by on my way out of work yesterday and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it #it was full of pike n bluegills too #i couldn't stop grinning the whole way home #if you've never seen one before they just hook it up to like a regular commission pickup and tour it around #usually you'll see them at like educational events for kids #i think the picture i used is from when they parked one near a free vax clinic #folk WILL come out just to look at the fish #i get so genuinely happy every time i see one

#caffeinated hallucinations

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