Wake Up With You (Ask You How You Feel)
a/n: i took my ritalin for the first time in weeks and instead of cleaning my apartment, i wrote a Very Fluffy songfic. enjoy <3. i only read this a couple times so forgive any errors. all feedback appreciated!
calex fluff, song is "Go Outside" by Ratboys.
I wanna go outside again
I wanna sit back with the windows down and breathe it all in
I wanna go outside again
It's quiet outside the pub when Alex decides to go for it. The air is crisp and everything glitters underneath the streetlights. She'd gone with Casey who'd gone with Amanda who'd gone with Nick to get some fresh air, which really meant have a cigarette. Amanda and Nick had ended up in a cab very quickly, still attempting to seem like they weren't going to the same home.
Despite her aversion to sidewalks outside of bars at night, when Casey asked her to stay, Alex did, feeling safe. They keep moving closer, and Alex lets the overwhelming need to feel Casey win her over. She feels far more intoxicated than the one vodka soda she'd had would've made her.
Casey's hands are soft, but her lips are softer when Alex asks the question of a kiss. She thanks whatever forces there are that the clear answer is yes. Casey pulls her closer, tugging on her coat, but keeps the kiss delicate, like she's trying not to break anything. She pulls away-- Alex has to close her eyes, terrified that she's made a mistake and thrown away what chance she ever had.
"This is," Casey says, her voice giving away her smile, "I've wanted you to do that for so long." Alex feels her chest get warm at the admission. "Please tell me you want to do it again."
Alex nods, this time doing the pulling, a firmer kiss. "I want to do that as many times as I possibly can."
I wanna lay down in the sand
I wanna show up at the shoreline and drink Lake Michigan
I wanna lay down in the sand
"Why are you in Indiana again?" Alex's frustrated but happy voice comes crackly through the phone, almost the same frequency as the short waves. Casey's pockets are full of sand and her arms are coming up in goosebumps, but no part of her wants to go inside.
"Convention on torture methods," she says, pleased with the laughter she hears back, "Or the Novak family reunion."
"Mm. Well, I think you should come home."
"Oh yeah? Feeling clingy, Cabot?"
"I miss you."
"I wish you would come here instead." Casey snaps a wide-angle photo of the beach to Alex, doing her best to get the dunes and the lake in the same frame.
Alex gasps. "Is that Indiana?"
Casey laughs until there are tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. "A very small part of Northern Indiana, yes. The Midwest isn't all bad."
"Better when you're there."
And I wanna walk down my main street
I wanna listen for the birds who might be talkin' to me
I wanna walk down my street
They can be together and silent now. Alex is grateful for this fact because she can hardly speak. Laryngitis-- Dr. Warner had explained to her that it probably started as a minor infection and was made worse with all the talking and bad sleep. A round of antibiotics and steroids plus lots of fluids should make it better before the weekend is over.
They don't need to talk. Casey is idly playing with her hair, Alex's head in her lap, dozing off in the afternoon sunlight. Casey's reading a book, Alex listens to the pages turn.
"Do you hear that?" Casey asks.
Alex hums, before regretting making any vocal movement. She screws her eyes shut in pain.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, love," Casey says, rubbing her hand soothingly down Alex's arms, completely naturally using that word they haven't said yet. "I didn't mean to wake you. It was just a pretty bird."
Alex takes a moment to decide if the pain is worth replying. "Don't apologize for pretty things," she whispers, her eyes still shut, "And I love you too."
I wanna be eloquent
I wanna take all of my best friends and show them where I live
Oh, I wanna be so eloquent
"It'll be fine, Case," Alex says quietly, holding her waist before their guests arrive. Today's the day she meets the friends, which, Casey thinks, with no in-laws to meet, is making her justifiably nervous. "Neither of them is going to bite you."
"Why do I doubt that," Casey says, only half-joking. "You know us, lawyers, sharks..."
"And how different am I out of the courtroom? Or Katie, or Adrian, or Anna, or Jesse,"
"You gonna list my whole graduating class?" Casey traces her fingers along the little gold necklace with the square pendant Alex has taken to wearing around her neck.
"If it calms you down," Alex says. "If you're really too nervous I can tell Abbie and Serena to keep the takeout and we can go to bed early," she says, tucking Casey's hair behind her ear. "But they're really more like manatees," she says, finally eliciting a smile.
The buzzer buzzes, and a brief flash of panic passes through Casey. She leans in, kissing Alex.
"If they love you, I'm sure we'll get along."
And I wanna make myself a meal
I wanna wake up with you next to me and ask you how you feel
I wanna make us both a meal
If she keeps doing things like this, Alex thinks all the love will make her explode. Today it's coming home to Casey, dancing in the kitchen, the apartment smelling like garlic and oregano, the sounds of an old country album mixing with the sizzling of oil in a pan. With her resolve growing thinner and thinner every day, Alex can't help but wrap her arms around her waist, burying her entire self into her hair, strong shoulders, soft hips. Casey jumps, and this earns Alex a snap on the wrist from the handle of her mixing spoon.
"Baby, do you want to get burned?" She says, laughing into the words, relaxing into her touch. She holds Alex's hand, stepping them away from the stove. She guides her through the rest of the song, never once complaining about Alex's two left feet and frankly dangerous elbows.
Casey stirs the sauce, then tastes it, pursing her lips, blowing to cool it down first. She holds the spoon up to Alex with a raise of her eyebrow, watching her look of satisfaction at the taste with pride. "Going to surprise me next time?" She asks.
"Yeah," Alex says, pointing her gaze over her glasses, "it's worth it."
And I wanna love you 'til the end
I wanna float off with the angels and pick a fight and win
I wanna love you 'til
'Til thе end
As Alex keeps reminding her, they have no need for a piece of paper to know they're in love. The wedding dresses she has saved on pinterest tell a different story.
The ring has been patiently waiting in the closet since two weeks after Alex kissed her.
"Baby?" Alex's voice comes from their living room while Casey fiddled with the ring box, practicing how she would ask.
"Yes?" Casey says, still dreamy, taking the ring box in one hand and popping it behind her back.
"Come sit with me." Alex says.
They don't need to get married, she doesn't need to propose, and they don't need the ring, not to know they're in love, not to prove anything, not to follow the common path.
But when Casey had come home that day, Alex had looked so comfortable and secure sitting on the couch. It's everything: her hair in a bun, her thick-rimmed glasses, her tank top and cozy pants, the novel she was reading, the way she stretched over the couch, twisting to see her come in through the door. And, what had finally melted Casey, made her absolutely certain: the completely natural smile she has whenever Casey comes home, her eyes wide and wrinkling at the edges, her tongue slightly poking out between her teeth. She has to see that one, every day.
She walks out of the bedroom, having changed into her sweatpants, still hiding the ring behind her back as she slides onto the couch. The same smile greets her when she gets to Alex.
"Sorry, I got distracted."
Alex sits up on her knees, furrowing her brow. "Is everything OK?"
"More than," Casey says, pressing the same kind of gentle kiss as the first onto Alex's lips. Suddenly, everything she was going to say, all the long, grand, rehearsed speeches she'd had for this very moment feel all kinds of wrong. Instead, she slides herself just off the couch, kneeling, opening the box.
Alex gasps, a wide open smile, beginning to say "Yes" before Casey gets any words out.
"Will you marry me?"
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