Jojos Rated By How Likely They Are to Stay Locked in Eye Contact With the Dental Hygienist During a Cleaning
having almost nothing to do with the 60 excruciating minutes I just spent in the dentist's chair
Jonathan Joestar - 0/10 - a good boy, would follow social norms, but existed before the age of modern dentistry and thus knows only the man who comes round to pull rotten teeth and nightly gargling with bicarbonate of soda. incisors are comprised of whale bone and asbestos
Joseph Joestar - 2/10 (would consist of periodic winking) - by the time you get him into the chair after he's chased every nurse in the building and started a full fledged tongue depressor war with the orthodontist (so many splinters, RIP), the staff just gives Granny Erina the free toothbrush kit that my current dentist has literally never once given me and tells them they're on their fucking own
Jotaro Kujo - 10/10* - does not trust strangers in general, let alone ones who are gonna fuck around in his mouth by choice?? like. who chooses that as a profession. *the caveat is joot has never actually been seen by a dentist in his life, bc eye contact begins well before the exam even starts and the doctor just nopes tf out of the entire city
Josuke Higashikata - 6/10 (mostly nervous glances) - precious son is terrified of the dentist, tf is all that drilling noise you can hear from the waiting room anyway, why would they need nitrous oxide, why would anyone need to be sedated just to get their damn teeth brushed...😬(except with a pompadour)... so his hot mom has to bribe him with a video game literally every checkup. his teeth are always rife with cavities, but grandpa would take him to those appointments and josuke would actually be super brave on those ones. in theory Tonio could fix any new dental issues, but Tonio refuses to ever use his stand on Josuke out of sheer pettiness
Giorno Giovanna - 10/10 - he's a weird kid
Jolyne Cujoh - 7/10 - child support did not cover dental benefits so JoJoh has a whole backlog of government-funded visits ahead of her at Green Dauphin State Penn. when you don't go to the dentist for a while your cleanings consist of a process called scaling, which is just...multiple sessions of scraping and it sucks. she is highly likely to keep an eye on the almost certainly volunteer hygienist doing all this work on her.
Johnny Joestar - 3/10 - he goes to Gyro's grill man who ordinarily he'd want to watch bc would you trust or feel comfortable closing your eyes for an extended period of time around a dude who created All That? but cowboy dentist uses cowboy methods which in this case involve getting shit ass drunk with everybody beforehand so Johnny is passed out cold during the cleaning and wakes up with clean teeth actually but also a tattoo on his ass that says AQUA FRESH on either cheek
Gappy Higashikata - 5/10 - correct me if I'm wrong but I believe this young man is a sailor so he practices the seafaring dental hygiene traditions of consuming lemon rinds to ward off scurvy. is therefore suspicious of anyone who comes near his mouth with sharp instruments, but when they explain they're there to fix the acid erosion that's caused his teeth to wear down to mere nubs, he acquiesces