Messy
Masterlist
(A/n: this is js something quick i literally just finished not even five minutes ago after a sudden burst of motivation. Thought it would hold my hypothetical readers over while i plan out and re-write the first few chapters of “until now” like i literally bought a journal and im physically writing out chapters outlines and everything. We official asf this time around, no more games. Anyway enjoy ✌️ (ignore the rushed ending I didn’t know where to go after the “I’m going to help you.” Also ignore the sudden start.)
“You said you wanted to get to know me Cameron?” I ask in a flat tone turning to look at him in the face, after I put my key into the top lock of my front door, knowing exactly what waits for me behind it.
I see Cameron swallow hard, “yes.” He whispers with a small nod.
“I’ll show you exactly who the real me is then.” I turn my key hearing the click to signal my door is unlocked.
Taking a deep breath before pushing the door open, stepping aside so Cameron can walk into my pitch black house first.
He looks at me once more, silently asking for permission to go inside. I nod my head once just like he did and watch him step inside.
“Remember that you asked for this.” I walk in after him, shutting the door behind me and flipping the light switch to illuminate my living room.
Now it’s me swallowing hard as I wait for his reaction to the scene in front of him.
Cameron takes a second, looking around at the broken glass, shattered picture frames, ripped apart fabric, and empty bottles that litter the floor and every other surface in my house.
“Jesus.” He murmurs under his breath after a minute. “Can I, can I ask what happened?” He talks slowly, choosing his words carefully.
“My lovely father happened.” I walk up next to Cameron and look up at him.
His eyes are still darting around the mess that is my house, taking everything in. “Your dad did this?” Cameron still keeps his voice small. “Why?”
“He ran out.” My voice cracks as I force my self to walk into my kitchen, careful to not step on any glass as I leave Cameron behind me.
“Out of…?” I hear his footsteps follow me.
“Drugs, alcohol. Maybe both.” I shrug, still trying to keep a strong face on, not ready to break in front of him yet. “I don’t know anymore.” I set my stuff down on my counter after pushing random debris to the side to make room.
“So he destroyed everything?” Cameron asks confused by the whole situation.
“It was either that or me, so I’d say this is a pretty good outcome.” I lean against my kitchen counter, looking at him, studying his eyes trying to figure out exactly what he’s thinking.
Maybe this will finally be the thing to scare him off for good.
“You don’t have to stay you know, I know this is a lot.” I feel the need to tell him.
Now? This is a normal thing. My dad comes home and drinks, smokes, shoots up, or snorts whatever he can get his hands on then gets destructive when he runs out before leaving again.
The first time he did this I thought I was going to die that night. That was the most scared I’ve ever been of my own father.
He broke a few pictures and punched a hole into the wall before I gave up on trying to calm him down and retreated into my room, locking myself in it.
The shattering got louder, shouting angrier, and words more aggressive to the point I thought I was next.
I grabbed my shoes and my phone before slipping out my window and walking to the nearby park to sleep in.
The next morning when I came home, slipping back in the same way I escaped I was speechless when I opened my bedroom door.
I was used to coming back to a mess after my dad leaves. Trash, dirty dishes, and bottle caps everywhere. But that day was an entire new level of mess.
That’s the worst I’ve ever seen my house. I was so overwhelmed, so exhausted, and so hurt. I just broke down, crying and sobbing for hours until my hands shook and I couldn’t catch my breath.
I was scared of who I saw my dad become and I knew things were going to keep escalating and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
It took me three days to completely clean my house and put it back together.
That was also the first time I found used needles.
“No I’m okay.” Cameron says, looking at me in the eye for the first time since he stepped inside. “I’m just uh, in shock I guess.”
“It’s not always like this.” I feel compelled to defend myself. “Only when he’s home.”
“And when is he home?” He asks softly.
“A few days a couple times a month. Sometimes I get lucky and he’s gone for longer.”
“So you’re by yourself all the time?” His gaze turns soft and I can tell he’s starting to feel sorry for me.
“I don’t need your pity Cameron.” I push off my counter, a slight attitude with my words. “I’d rather him gone than here. Because look what happens when he is home.” I wave my hand across the kitchen at the mess.
“It’s not pity, it’s sorrow. I could only imagine how hard it is.” He grabs my hand, so I look at him.
“Well you can go now.” I pull my hand away, suddenly feeling insecure that he’s in my house, seeing the state that it’s in. “I have cleaning to do.” I walk away from him, going into my hall closet and grabbing a broom.
“I’m not leaving you like this, I can’t it’s not right.” He follows after me once again, standing in front of me, stopping me in my tracks.
“I’m not a charity case.” I snap at him slightly, and try to go around him.
“I never said you were.” Cameron’s eyebrows furrow together, as he steps back into my way. “I’m going to help you clean up.”
“I’m okay thanks though.” I try to side step him again.
“Would you just stop for a second.” He gently grabs a my shoulder to keep me in place. “I’m not going to help for you. I’m going to help so I feel better.”
I press my lips into a flat line as I look at him. I know exactly what Cameron is doing. He’s trying to say that he’s only doing it for himself so I don’t feel as embarrassed or nervous about it. I’m not dumb, I know he’s doing it for me, he’s been doing everything for me these last few days after finding out more about me.
Weighing my options and looking over his shoulder I finally get a good look at the disaster waiting for me behind Cameron.
It’s going to take a few days, maybe even an entire week to get this all cleaned up. It’s safe to say I’d rather be embarrassed for a few hours while he helps me than be stuck at home for the foreseeable future cleaning this up.
“Fine.” I shove the broom into his chest, causing a smile to break its way onto Cameron face. “Whatever you see, can’t leave this house.”
“I promise, I’ll never even mention this again if it makes you feel better.” He nods his head.
“Just don’t even tell me anything you find, I really don’t feel like explaining myself tonight.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, already regretting agreeing to him helping me.
“Yes ma’am.” He nods before turning around, walking back into my living room and immediately starting to sweep everything up off the floor.
“Lord save me.” I mumble under my breath as a grab a few trash bags to start picking the bigger things up.
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7/3/26
WC: 1,260
Hi Emma fart