#canadian maple

[emotionalwarmth]

Mass Effect Forever server's monthly challenge October - Fall I took it quite literally because I felt like this word reminded me of the season. So here, have them again, now in Canada, Earth, post ME 3, just chilling together and being happy.

[lemonthymeblog]

Lemon Maple Glazed Carrots  |  View Recipe >>

[seat-safety-switch]

There’s sort of this stereotype out there that the government’s whims are enforced by shady characters in suits and sunglasses. They do unethical misdeeds to keep us all safe, and occasionally they fuck up and a black ops project escapes and menaces society. After my government job, I was no longer convinced that they could reliably order pizza, much less hide a crashed UFO from the curious denizens of local trailer parks.

In the late 1970s, in order to reduce our dependence on the Americans, the Canadian government started their own car program. Not only would these vehicles be offered cheaply to motorize the populace, but they’d also run on reliable, easy-to-refine natural gas to avoid future fuel price shocks. Maintenance would be a breeze; just wheel your sick car into the shop and grab another, completely identical, one out of the parking lot. We didn’t even put locks on them.

The Maple, as the car was nicknamed by the populace, was the mathematically-divined perfectly average family sedan. Brown, four doors, four-speed manual transmission, plenty of legroom, and a decent trunk. It was completely inoffensive, and coupled with the cost-of-ownership advantages, the first prototypes were delightful. It seemed like the Maples could at last force out the inferior so-called “domestic” vehicles owned by our Southern masters.

When I came onto the project, they were getting ready to scale up. It seemed that the workers were simply unwilling to build more than about eight of the fucking things. My boss, a guy who had been inside the machine for what seemed like nearly a century, told me he wanted to look for options outside of Canada, to get the thing built faster and cheaper. Mexico made sense, and I soon learned enough Spanish from trilingual breakfast burrito packages to close the deal.

There was just one problem: in order to get to Canada from Mexico, the trucks full of Maples had to transport through America. We knew that the CIA, NSA, FBI, USPS and even the FCC would get involved. They’d hijack or destroy our trucks to prevent a glorious socialist success being spawned right on their border, just like that whole “Castro Torque Spec” scandal when they intercepted all of the shipments of metric bolts to Cuba. It was only over a belt of No Name Vintage Whisky that the solution to our problems emerged.

I went to my superiors the next morning, and laid it all out. They didn’t go for it, and so I resigned. A few weeks later, I got a phone call from my old boss. In order to close a quick budget gap caused by a failed Quebecois project to develop vat-grown smoked meat, they had closed up shop and sold the entire project to Chevrolet. Later that year, I heard they even rebadged this so-called “Cavalier” as a Cadillac.

[rabbitcruiser]

Food and Drinks, Summer Vacation 2018 (No. 6)

Deep Fried Garlic and Beef, Don Don Izakaya

Edamame, Don Don Izakaya

5 Skewers Combo with Teriyaki Sauce, Don Don Izakaya

Limonade, Iced Coffee, Canadian Maple and Boston Cream, Tim Hortons

Canadian Maple, Tim Hortons

Dark 'n' Stormy, Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse 

Caesar Salad, Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse 

Brioche, Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse 

Dry Aged Steak, Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse 

Cream Corn, Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse 

[gallardobs13]

https://www.instagram.com/bgallardo13/

[keseredes-teveszme]

[microwavedmetal]

Doing my part in supporting indigenous maple species 🍁

[austin-lloyd]

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