#canceramorem

[pizzlelovedope]

[canceramorem]

CANCER AMOREM ( Latin for cancer love ) is the act of falling in love with someone who also has cancer. Although very rare, it does happen. Being heartbroken and having stage four cancer has been without a doubt the worst experience of the 49 years of my life. The feeling of abandonment and feelings of being unwanted, unloved, and to top it all off, a feeling of impending doom ( from being told that you have cancer- after I haven't even been to the hospital twice in my life because I have been healthy), can really do some damage to a person emotionally. How people that say they love someone, and then when the person they say they love gets a cancer diagnosis , you would think that they would stay by their side. That's what I would do anyways, and I'm pretty sure Emily would. Instead, in the case of Jason Plaster, not only was he abandoned, but his cancer diagnosis was actually used as entertainment for his so called love and her pimpboyfriend.

And in Emily's case, her abusive boyfriend, aptly nicknamed "Angry Doug" , chose to remain mean and even chose fentanyl instead of being a nurturing , caring boyfriend to a woman that loved him and cared for him while they both were on the streets and homeless.

You see, Jason and Emily were living in parallel universes, although they were complete strangers, they were actually going through almost the identical situations and scenarios. And the heartbreak that Jason had , must have been similar, if not the same as the heartbreak Emily had. It was as though God was putting them both through so much bullshit , pain, and loss , that he was preparing them for the greatest relationship, love , and healing , that their story would be one of legend.

I know it sounds crazy, and I know that true love really does exist, as does love at first sight. But the moment that she spoke that one word, that word which actually I never spoke, ( out of shame, out of fear, out of hate , I don't know, but I just didn't speak the dreaded cancer word) . But when it came from Emily's sweet lips, and sensual, sweet , calming voice, it instantly made me fall in love with her. And not just a School boy crush type of love , or not like any other love I have experienced in my life ( this would actually make the third or fourth time I actually experienced love. ) Seeing into the future when Emily said the dreaded cancer word was definitely a first for me. I actually saw what appeared to be the most perfect , happy, loving, caring , - did i mention perfect?- Relationship that I could ever possibly have known existed.

It was almost as though God was showing me what i could have. Glimpses- one I coukd remember was of her and I being happy and laughing, another was us living many years , (a much better vision than what I was having only a half hour prior) . Let's not forget, only minutes before Emily had said the word 'cancer' , I was hellbent on taking my own life. I was at the worst possible place I could be in the whole of my life. I can't even begon to explain justvhow dark of a place I was in. I never want to go there ever again. Emily truly did save me, she saved me from myself, she gave me hope, she gave me a reason not to kill myself. Most importantly, she gave me love. And not just any love, she gave me a reason to love. And for this, I am forever indebted to her. I can never hurt her, and I won't, I can only love her. You see, people with cancer do everything they can to beat it. In my case, I will never truly beat it. But to be able to live with it, and to be able to feel love and of being loved- that is very hard to explain. And this is why, I could never EVER , Hurt this woman named Emily. Oh wait, this story gets even better. I would find out that she also shared the love of dogs with me - she actually had adopted a puppy, and not just any dog, one that has the same markings and demeanor even the same type of face that I had wanted myself in a dog, which I had entertained getting, Emily just did . The more I peeled away the layers of similarities, and of small coincidences, the more I realized, that she really is the one.

Now comes the fun part- convincing her that what I felt and the visions I saw were true. And not to mention, she would think I'm some crazy man that must be on drugs( which I was) - remember, I have cancer whoch has metastasized to my bones, which meant I would be on pain meds, and not to mention the fog of 'cancer brain' as I call it( it's like being old overnight, forgetting things and not remembering things, and just plain old loss of memory. But that's ok, as long as you have someone to make new memories with.

[canceramorem]

He sat on the stairs to the Haywood Congregation a brokenhearted, deeply hurt, and sorrowed man. He was contemplating going down to the French Broad river and slicing his carotid artery and just bleeding out. His life had become nothing more than going to doctors, sending text messages and going to counseling sessions with three or four different therapists. The woman he had fallen so deeply in love with was nothing more than a garden variety dope whore. She had used him and her and her pimp boyfriend Smootie laughed at the fact that she had played Jason so hard, Jason was ruined..... Or was he.....

That one fateful day, a new angel was sent to cross Jason's path. You see, Asheville north Carolina is known for its homeless population. And I guess it would be in the year 2020, when Jason was getting his government issued phone, that he first had met Emily. She had with her some sort of art and craft type wreath She had been crafting with tree branches. They briefly spoke, and at the time, he was so in love with Marie ,that his loyalty would actually prevent him from meeting his true love. Which oddly is Emily. Yes, so let's get on with this story of love. After meeting Emily that first time , it would be nearly three years later when their paths would cross again. Three years , that Jason worked diligently at the Econo Lodge Biltmore. And Emily would be in an abusive relationship with a fentanyl addict. During those three years, the cancer must have been secretly coursing through his veins, metastasizing from its original tumor. At the same time , Emily must have had cancer simultaneously running through her veins, because what happens next , is pure magic. And not the same kind of trickery that left Jason heartbroken on the church steps...

As he sat there contemplating his own death, the angel came up on him asking him for a rolling paper. He obliged and even rolled up the beautiful purple flower known as cannabis. They smoked and somewhere in the conversation, Emily said the word "Cancer". It was then that Jason became enamored like no other time in his life.....