[WMUWNE2019]Relationships.
[A note before we start. Took a few days off, first for personal matters, then because Pokemon came out and I had to tend to some things. That is all.] ~I go back to December, all the time.~ One thing I’ve learned through experience has been the trend of relationships, or at least some interesting crossovers between different relationships. Like, at first when you first meet and sign on for it, if things seem great, you feel great. You like it and want to spend time and think about it. You get involved. Then, if things continue to be good, you want to tell people about it, spread the news, give advice, and exposit how things have been so much better now that you have this relationship. You tell all your friends about it, and how you got it, and how others should have it. Ever chance you get you let it be known that you have it, because you’re happy about it. Those first two steps is what I’d assume is commonly referred to as the Honeymoon phase. But when you get past that, that’s when it becomes steady, theoretically. You start learning, and details you might’ve missed prior may start to surface. You either deal with it, or learn to accept it. Relationships are supposed to be a matter of give and take, right?? Inevitably though, there will come a point though when relationships get tested. Rocky waters and rough waves. Things that you’ve “accepted” can either become problems, or you actually accept them for real. You choose to keep swimming and brave the currents, or you can call it quits and let the tides rip you apart. Surviving turbulence isn’t necessarily a testament to the strength or dignity of a relationship though, and what’s soured may never become sweet again. And after a wash, there’s no guarantee that it won’t go through another cycle like your favourite blouse. I’ve fairly recently realized the bitterness and resentment towards the end of a relationship when it’s time to part ways. The long journeyed road it had taken, and the strangeness of where it ended. It wasn’t bittersweet, but I guess that’s how it is when you’ve had the time to decide already. Breakups are hard like that; usually there’s a side that wants to fight for the relationship, while the other’s been over it well before to even get to that point. Made up minds and whatnot. Personally, I wanted out for a fair while. I gave it a chance, honest, but there was just something always off, things I disliked that I knew wouldn’t change, and I couldn’t accept. It was like working with a machine, cold and calculating, and if I wanted to get what I wanted, the only way was out. It was a long relationship, I’d even hazard to say I was along to see a lot of growth. I was proud of the achievements, and I overlooked the mistakes. But towards the end, it was simply just time to move on. I realized I was being taken advantage of, and I only have myself to blame. But I don’t see dark clouds surrounding me, but rather feel lifted by the revelation. After all, the opportunity to learn is perhaps the best gift, and it’s decent consolation for the mistakes made. And perhaps this is why I’ve been more hesitant this time around... ...but I should also let myself be happy.