Even when things are good, I'm still anxious and feel like something's bothering me.

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Even when things are good, I'm still anxious and feel like something's bothering me.
When you're having a terrible body image day and you're with your friends and everyone is eating pizza and you want some so badly but the only thing your stupid kind will let you eat is soup.
I go on vacation in a week and the anxiety is crazy.😫
How can I go from so emotional to so emotionless in a heartbeat? Sometimes I feel like I'm filled with too much heart and then I feel as if I'm void of it. It's like I love and care too much... That makes me vulnerable and I can feel myself falling and it hurts and I'm scared and I don't want to fall too hard so I pull back the emotion and build a wall so high no one can penetrate it and then I fall back within my own self and forget feelings exist.
Even when things are great I'm nervous about how I could mess it up