Anet could have done SO much with the Destiny's Edge split-up. How to deal with toxic friendships, how to healthily respond to blame and guilt, how to distance yourself if necessary...
Not necessarily by PORTRAYING those things (DE is as dysfunctional as it gets), but by showing the opposite, the bad habits and thoughts we fall into.
The sheer contradiction of "I miss them but I'm glad they're gone."
Like those relationships were SO GOOD and then they got SO BAD and like. That should be talked about more.
Anyway there's another chapter of Reforging the Edge coming out today, so stay tuned!
Logan nods as Lieutenant Francis finishes his report. “Thank you, Francis. Keep up the good work. Dismissed.”
Lieutenant Francis salutes, turns on his heel, and marches out the door with perfect form, heading back to his post in Shaemoor.
“Alright, Groban - “ Logan turns to face his lieutenant, his second-in-command, his best advisor and a veteran of the Seraph. Logan drops the mask he shows to most of his officers and lets Groban see his frustration. “What happened up here?”
Groban puts down his papers and sighs. “I don’t know, Captain. I sent fast runners to Altar Brook Crossing and Claypool for reinforcements, but I never heard back. I thought they’d made contact with you in Shaemoor, but it wasn’t until after the attack I realized the outposts never got our runners. Their bodies were discovered on the roads. Centaurs.
Logan scowls, his hands curling into fists on the desk. “By Lyssa was it centaurs,” he hisses vehemently. If it was centaurs he’d eat his sword.
“I also fought to get more reinforcements from within the city, but I was obstructed at every turn. Minister Caudecus really puts a lot of effort into, ah, ‘defending the queen.’”
“The beloved minister would do better to leave Seraph troops at the discretion of Seraph officers,” Logan mutters. “I didn’t see him volunteering any Ministry Guard. I’d bet my left gauntlet he was involved in your runners not getting out. Somehow.”
Groban glances at him out of the corner of his eye. “Treason is a serious charge, Captain. He did seem to be acting to protect the queen, if misguidedly. Using legal matters to back up his tactical opinion.” He shakes his head.
Logan scowls again. “You think he was just honestly naive about the situation?”
Groban shifts his papers and doesn’t answer.
Logan sighs. Groban had seen as much of Caudecus’ treachery as Logan had, but he’d never been willing to say the quiet part out loud. “You mean… he didn’t say anything prosecutable?”
“No, Captain. He’s too cunning for that.”
Logan growls, at least as well as he can for not being a charr. It’s hard to call any noise a human can make a growl after he’d spent a year with Rytlock. “It sickens me that he’s a Minister, but I’d have at least thought he’d value keeping the current political system in place. Instead he lets Divinity’s Reach get nigh-overrun! And I can’t see the centaurs promising him more power than he has now over whatever nation they want to set up in Kryta’s stead.”
“We have no proof he’s actually a traitor,” Groban points out cautiously. “I’d like to think he’s above consorting with centaurs, at least."
“So would I,” Logan mutters. “But he’s a slippery snake, and he’s always covered his tracks well. I can only hope he’s extended himself too far this time.” Logan shakes his head. “Well. In any case, your runners never reaching the other outposts explains a lot.”
Groban nods. “Yes, that was a disaster. Once I realized Caudecus wouldn’t budge, I looked for loopholes in the law instead. I started with the families of deceased Seraph - most likely to have the ability and motivation to defend Kryta - and informed them of the predicament and asked for their aid. Caudecus’ precious regulations only said I couldn’t disturb off-duty public servants - didn’t say anything about regular civilians. Not like I could compel them to do anything anyway.”
Logan nods. “Good thinking.” He himself had joined the Seraph after his brother had been killed in service. He looks at the report Francis had given him, skimming it until he finds what he is looking for - the names of the mesmer and ranger that had aided the Seraph. “Were a Tiffany and Fiona Saryrn among them?”
Groban snaps his fingers. “Ah, yes! The Saryrn family has had members in the Seraph for decades. They were one of the first ones I went to. Andrew Saryrn attained the rank of Corporal during his time… and one of his granddaughters - disowned child of a noble, in fact - served most recently in the Screaming Falcons division… ah, well, anyway,” Groban interrupts himself, clearly self-conscious about his rambling. “I went to the Saryrn home and Tiffany and Fiona - half-sisters of the granddaughter - were quite willing to lend a hand. I trust they served well?”
He’s such a nerd, Logan thinks affectionately. Outwardly, he nods. “Yes, the Saryrn sisters were some of the most effective soldiers we had once they arrived. They and the other civilians saved Shaemoor. You did good work, Groban.”
Groban smiles at the praise. “I only did what I could from here, Captain. Anyway, when Francis delivered his report yesterday, I took the liberty of looking through it. If you’re interested in the Saryrns, well… they’ve been helping out in Shaemoor quite a lot. Admirable, really - making the rounds and helping villagers get back on their feet. Reuniting families, helping repairs, doing odd jobs to help people get back on their feet, even providing some healing… then Francis was telling me they’ve apparently struck out into the fields. And the villagers have started calling them the Heroes of Shaemoor.”
The corners of Logan’s mouth twitch slightly. “They deserve it. Hand me that report.”
~oOoOo~
Paying visits to deceased soldiers’ families is never an easy ordeal. Soldiers’ families await that news with dread every day, and hurts no less when the Seraph Captain shows up at their door. But the civilians…
Logan usually manages to stop the enemy before they reach towns and villages. Or at least evacuate them beforehand. The centaurs this week had appeared out of nowhere. Logan had had Groban send a scout to follow their trail this morning…
Logan shakes himself and raises his fist to knock on the door in front of him. This is the home of Kiert Sens, who had lived with his sister.
The woman who opens the door bears a resemblance to the man. “C-captain Thackeray!” she exclaims. “What - oh.” Her expression falls.
Logan takes a deep breath. “Katherine Rigali nee Sens? Can I come in?”
“Y-yes, of course - I’m sorry - “ she opens the door further. “Kiert was my brother. I - he -
“Yes. I’m sorry. He fell bravely in battle.” Logan follows her into the house.
The living room is decorated with pictures - of Kiert, and Katherine, two children, and a man who must be their father. A corner holds a dollhouse. Kiert is laughing in the pictures, throwing a child into the air. The hearth is well-worn.
A man - the father - enters the room.
Katherine says, “Richard - could you go make sure the children stay out of the way?”
“They’re with the Saryrns today,” Richard says quickly. “Captain Thackeray - please, sit down. I’m Katherine’s husband.”
Logan sits reluctantly. The Rigalis sit across from him. “Mrs Rigali - your brother - “ 50% of civilian participants in the Battle of Shaemoor are deceased - “bravely volunteered to help defend his home. He is a hero.”
Katherine already has her face buried in her husband’s shoulder, clinging to him.
No award can make up for a life lost. The couch beneath him has an extremely long thread pulled out - likely by a child. A child now missing his uncle. Logan forces himself to go on. “The Kingdom of Kryta wishes to… posthumously bestow one of our highest awards… “ Logan carefully unwraps the package he’d brought. He hands Mrs Rigali an engraved amulet pendant.
Katherine takes it, weeping. Richard holds her close, his face also wet with tears.
None of this can make up for the loss. None of this can make up for his failure. None of this can bring a loved one back. Logan forces words out, his own eyes stinging. “It says he fell in service, but… Kiert was no Seraph. He was a civilian - a citizen of Kryta - one of those that I swore to protect when I became Seraph Captain. I failed.” Logan closes his eyes. It hurts to admit, but Kiert Sens deserves no less. He would not have died if Logan had done his duty. Logan takes a careful breath, trying not to let the Rigalis hear the tremble in his voice. "He could have stayed home and waited, but he came out in defense of his home, his people, his country. He is and will be honored like one of our best.”
There is a long moment of silence for the fallen man - brother, uncle, friend.
“He did it for the children,” Richard says softly.
The couch thread tickles Logan’s leg. He offers a tortured smile to the bereaved family.
~oOoOo~
The rest of the day is likewise. Family after family, grieving, hurt, their worlds shattered. Civilian families don't expect death to come knocking so suddenly.
Logan empathizes deeply. He’d lost his own brother, who’d been Seraph Captain before him. No matter how much you know it could come any day… no matter how much you expect it… it’s awful.
Logan had at least had last words with Dylan.
These villagers…
Logan couldn’t have done better. He did all he could. But still there is pain.
Their grief mirrors his own.
Their tears tug at his.
Their regret waters his remorse.
He sees the homes, the houses, the families. He sees the love they had their for those lost. Each one is unique. The inside of a house is personal. Trinkets, pictures, tools of trade and passion, signs of the lives of those who dwelt there. Lives that had once been intertwined, now torn apart by death.
Like Destiny’s Edge, shattered by Logan’s decision to leave, Eir’s decision to press forward, Glint’s sacrifice, Snaff’s death.
Every battle causes grief. Every death causes pain. It never fades. It reminds Logan of all there is to be protected. Reminds him of his duty.
“I failed” does not come easier after the dozenth time he says it. He failed. And he doesn’t know when or if he might fail again. He can’t be counted on anymore.
Rytlock’s voice echoes in his head: you left. I should never have counted on you. Logan pushes it aside. He had done his best.
He leaves each home both burdened by responsibility and encouraged in his duty - his responsibility to at least try.
But then… there are those who lost loved ones because of Logan’s own command.
Centaurs had galloped into Shaemoor and killed indiscriminately. Helpless civilians whom Logan had actively chosen not to protect. Krytan citizens caught off guard because Logan didn’t warn them of the very real danger so near their doors.
There are no awards to assuage the pain. Logan can do nothing for them. Civilian deaths happen and they are grievous. But these… these came about because of Logan’s assurance that all would be well.
And they know it.
People avoid him in the street as Logan goes from house to house, ducking their heads and hurrying past. Others stare at him as they pass, haunted… or accusing. Others scream at him.
“You killed my husband!”
“It’s your fault my cousin is dead!”
“My child!”
“How can you live with yourself?”
Every word, every accusing glance, every civilian hurrying away - it gnaws at Logan’s soul. He would rather the dead themselves rose up in condemnation. The grief of the living is too much. He marches through the street, straight-backed, unable to block it out.
I failed. I failed. I failed. I failed.
They’ll never trust me again.
Like Rytlock.
They can’t rely on me.
They’ll never support me.
Jennah can’t depend on me. I’ll never be able to support her.
The thousand-year-old centaur war is unwinnable anyway.
I’ll never be able to keep her love.
Maybe I should leave.
Memories of his parents doting on Dylan while Logan was left to wander through the Thackeray mansion by himself cascade through his mind. His parents giving him the cold shoulder as punishment for a bad report from his tutor. Dylan, too, had been shunned for bad behavior… but Dylan had learned how to do better.
Logan was never good enough, until he grew up and moved away and… eventually became a hero. Heroism found him, rather. Did I really even deserve the accolades I got as a member of Destiny’s Edge? Even Rytlock had walked away when Logan failed.
Now, at last, he’d failed Jennah, and grievously. He should leave Kryta and go… out. Somewhere. Anything would be better than sticking around and watching Jennah’s love fail.
Logan had left Destiny’s Edge because he absolutely had to. Jennah had needed him - had called to his heart across miles of sand and desert. Snaff had died so Logan could protect Jennah. For Snaff - for Rytlock - for Zojja - Logan won’t abandon his duty. He will stay with Jennah. No matter how painful it gets.
No matter how much he misses the victories and celebrations. No matter how much he misses his old friends. No matter how much he misses even Rytlock… well, the old Rytlock, at least.
This song actually captures Logan's essence PERFECTLY. The devotion?? The caring?? Even the level of playfulness characteristic of both song and character?? This a song for the ages. This is unironically the top of my Logan playlist. It even weaves in the complexities of how he left Destiny's Edge when he thought Queen Jennah was in danger!
(Aka Rytlock is roaring in the background how Logan IS a deserter, through and through - )
