anyways, on a positive note. i've been talking to someone for a little over a month and getting to know them has been such a pleasure. i have been very reserved and quiet about it but i figured i would ramble about them and my thoughts here and maybe try to start a tag for it. their first line was asking me about warrior cats and if i had ever seen bones shatter amv and honestly it was so over to anyone else i matched with. getting to talk to you and asking for your discord and your first line was ''do you have a furaffinity?'' (i didnt have furry advertised on my bio at all and neither did they......) and then watching movies with you and adhering to your god awful work schedule that keeps me up until 1:30am every night. the banter is really fun, and immediately playing discord games and hearing you say ''god you suck, why didnt you pick a game you were good at?'' made me strangely relax. talking about our families and our exes was uncomfortable for both of us but we dragged ourselves through it. getting to know your past was helpful after you divorced from your wife and getting to tell you things about my past. commitment makes you nervous and i am not ready to replace what i had, but you have a way of making me feel valid and wanted. my self esteem is at a low, and when i told you i was nervous to meet you in person because what if you decide you dont like me or what if its just to hook up and then you leave and then you said ''why would you think that?'' / ''i don't think that will be the case.'' and me rambling about possible scenarios while you were just like 'mmhm... mhm.......................... mhm." in various tones so i knew you were listening but also thought i was speaking total nonsense. we have a pretty similar music taste and getting to share that the other night was really cool. i liked playing geoguesser until 3am with you, and introducing you to my irl friends.
the assurance from you is pretty refreshing. not talking to you over a week i realized i would be sad if you had ghosted me, and you told me you would not let me feel that way again and we've talked almost every day since.