Proxies x reader struggling with SH
A/N : woohoo part 2, I’m craving a monsterrrr 🤤
Characters included : Tim , Brian , Toby
WARNINGS : If you’re looking for comfort or are easily triggered DO.NOT.READ.TOBYS.SECTION. It’s at the end and it’s fucked up , Kidnapping , guilt tripping , SH obviously , suicide , angst , comfort , toxicity in Toby’s part , dove is dead , that should be it ok haha thx
Tim
You both got scars, and it’s one of the first things he noticed about you. Doesn’t comment on them, unless you’re actively bleeding he won’t because it doesn’t feel right. He hates when anyone points out his own so he does it out of respect for you.
If he ever walked in on you in the act, he’s a bit stunned unsure what to do at first. Internally panics before speaking.
“W-what are you doing..? Oh god..”
He’d sit down with you, looking down at your sh and doing mental backflips to figure out how to navigate this situation.
“Why.. Why are you doing that to yourself..?”
It makes him feel really bad, Tim hated seeing you suffer. He’d ask if he can stay, ask if you can stop. You can vent to him, he may not know how to give the best advice but he can absolutely listen. He’d hold you as you cry and silently feel his own heartbreak, he feels like shit for not knowing how to properly comfort you or fix this, but by god he’ll try.
He’d ask you to talk to him if you start having urges, no matter what tell him. And he’ll come to your aid, make sure you don’t do anything stupid.
Might ask you to give him your razors if it keeps getting worse, though he won’t force you to.
Spends extra time with you, partly so he can keep an eye on you partly because keeping busy helps him when he’s upset. You two go on car rides, walks, or just silently watch TV or read together. Whatever passes time with you<3
Tim is pretty patient as well, doesn’t mind how long it takes for you to get better. He’s ready to wait for you no matter how hard it is to watch.
If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, he’d honestly start begging you not to do it. Imagine a grown man on his knees holding your hands in his, tears in his eyes as he begs you not to leave him, not to be like everyone else.
“Not you too please.. Please please anything but that.. I can’t afford to lose you my dear.”
You two are gonna get through it together, through lots of tears and hugs Tim is there for you the whole way:( 💗
Brian
He always knew, before and or after you start dating. Pretty soft about it, one day he might just look down at you scars and make a little comment.
“This hurts to see..”
When you’re sleeping sometimes he kisses the scars, a bit afraid to do it while you’re awake in case it freaks you out. He does it because he loves you, every part of you.
If you complained about it hurting or you’re bleeding he patches you all up, doesn’t ask any questions. He knows, and it’s okay. Draws little doodles on the gauze, maybe stick figures of you and him 💗
If Brian walked in on you doing it, he may just look at you and sigh. Ask if he should stay or go, he respects whichever choice you make.
If you want him to stay he asks what’s wrong, ask how he can help. Brian can give pretty good advice, and he’s got experience with Tim. Reminds you that you’re loved, that you don’t deserve to be in pain.
“Trust me darling, I’m here whenever you need me ok? Instead of doing this you can come see me.. I’m at your beck and call sweetheart.”
Does little things to try making your life easier, like tidying up your room and making you food. Leaving little notes around with sweet messages.
“Hope ur day is going good hun, love you <3
-From ur beloved Bry”
If you’re struggling with suicidal ideation, it’s not happening. When you even mention it he’s staring you down like a predator, it’s real fucking intimidating.
“No you don’t wanna do that babe.. You won’t do that.”
If you tried, he’s holding you hostage till shit gets better. Might ask Jack if he could prove some antidepressants or mood stabilizers for you, anything that could fix you. In the meantime he’ll take real good care of you though! Bathing you, feeding you, making sure you get enough sleep all of that!
He’s such a green flag 💗
Toby
He understands, he sees you. Both of you have scars, and he recognizes your behaviours.
If it started only after you two started dating he’s much more devastated, he’s convinced he did something to trigger you into doing this. It leads to an argument where he goes between blaming himself, then blaming you for hating him when he’s done nothing but show you his love. But you two will come out of it and he’ll apologize, not after punishing himself though.
If it was there before you started dating then he’s more chill, he knew to expect this. Toby would look at your arm noticing some more fresh looking cuts, and give you a certain look. That sad droopy eyed look with a frown.
“...Did something happen..?”
Probably understands if you don’t wanna talk about it, he wouldn’t push you to if you’re not ready. But it could get to a point he gets angry you won’t open up to him, it only stems from his own insecurities. Not that it makes it ok of course. This boys believes it’s because you do not trust him or think he’s good enough to help you.
“Why won’t you just talk to me..?? Can’t you see I just wanna help?? What, you don’t trust me is that it? Well fuck you too I guess.”
Like a yo-yo he’d reel back after realizing what he just said, if you’re upset he spews out apologies. If you cried he feels awful, or if you got mad and tried to walk away he grabs you and doesn’t let you go.
“Cmon you know I didn’t mean it.. I’m sorry liebling. I-I’m sorry..”
If you do talk to him he’s right by your side, he’d ask if he can hug you and gently holds you in his arms while you let out all your woes.
The thing about Toby is that if you don’t wanna get better, you two get worse together. At times he might even encourage your behaviour, to him it’s a shared interest between you two.
You both may be hanging out one day and suddenly you’re sitting in bed together, Toby’s got a box cutter and he’s putting on a show for you. Slicing open his skin before offering the blade to you, smiling while he watches the blood spill from your arms to his bed.
Yeah I’ve already mentioned this in my other fics, but your name is going into his skin. Might ask you to do the same for him.. GETS SO EXCITED IF YOU REALLY DO IT!
If you do wanna stop he understands and will try to support you, but it’s a little difficult when he himself has no intentions of ever getting better.
Though something he might offer you is, if you’re having really bad urges he’ll give you his arm.
“You can just do it on me, I can’t feel it! Take it all out on me schatz.”
And you can go as hard as you want, he doesn’t mind. Hell honestly, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t into it, this is equally done to help you and to help himself. Pressures you if you say no, will try very hard to convince you to use him.
Tries to do nice things for you, like stealing getting snacks you like or helping you get out of bed when you aren’t feeling like it. But boy has his own issues and is not always the most consistent.. Though he certainly will try.
If you’re suffering with suicidal ideation, he’s pretty hysterical. Going back and forth on
“I cant believe you’d really consider leaving me here all alone… You must not really love me.”
To
“I can’t believe you’re in that much pain.. Please stay, I can’t bear the thought of life without you.”
It’s pretty sad overall, and it’ll probably make you feel worse. This kid is fucking good at guilt tripping, and also threatening you.
“If you kill yourself I’ll kill myself too I swear to god. I’ll blow my fucking brains out o-or I’ll slit my wrists, I can’t live without you.. If you kill yourself you’ll be killing me too..”
Toby honestly struggles with it too, some days it feels like you’re the only thing keeping him afloat. He becomes extra protective of you, isolating you from everyone else because he believes they’ll do something to make everything worse. You two just end up alone together, shutting everyone else out. But Toby swears to keep you alive, he promises to save you, save you from yourself.
