#carlandads

[carletes]

:)

OH MY GOD THE LAST ONE GFFUJNLHGUJVTUBVUJB I CAAAANT I CANT I CANT THE GLIMPSE OF THEM AS PARENTS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[carletes]

PROMPT: Carlando, girl dad 😊

They knew it was inevitable. They had talked about it extensively over the years, had even taken classes so they’d know how to handle it when the time came. But when the time did come—when Allegra (eleven and increasingly private) called from the bathroom, tremulous and a little scared, “D-dad? Papá?”—everything they thought they knew went right out the window.

It was goofy, how quickly they mobilized. Carlos went straight to the bathroom while Lando ran to the storage closet to grab a truly ludicrous selection of pads and tampons and panty liners.

“We’re here, hija, que quieres?” Carlos called. Lando joined him at the door, arms laden with feminine hygiene products.

“Um- it’s a lot of blood.”

“That’s normal!” Lando said quickly, and Carlos nodded as if Allegra could see him.

“A-are you sure? It’s, like, a lot.”

“Yes, yes, we’ve got what you need out here,” Carlos said, his voice about as soothing as the sight of a hyperactive squirrel at a funeral. Lando didn’t blame him; he was vibrating out of his skin with nerves.

“Does it hurt?” he called, and he gestured wildly for Carlos to find painkillers. Carlos fled immediately, hissing for Charlie to help him, who looked bemused around from his book.

“Yeah, kinda,” Allegra said. “It stings.”

Stings? The pain was never described as stinging.

“Uh…it’s not a dull ache? Maybe you mean sharp? Do you mean sharp?”

“I mean, not really. Like, it just stings when I lotion it.”

“When you-?”

“I have medicine for the cramps!” Carlos yelped upon his return. “And I asked Charlie to heat up water for raspberry leaf tea!”

From the living room: “No, you didn’t, you just said ‘Oye, mira, haz la cosa!’ at me and ran away!”

A beat.

“Who said anything about cramps?” Allegra called, sounding confused. “I’m just shaving my legs.”

Another beat. And another. And a final beat, before Carlos and Lando screamed, in unison, “What?!”

[carletes]

"you taste like trouble and i’d still kiss you again."

From this prompt list:

https://www.tumblr.com/bookished/781386179377594368/a-collection-of-drunken-confessions-dialogue?source=share

"You taste like trouble," Carlos whispered, pulling a swooning Lando into his arms. "And I'd still kiss you again."

"CUT!"

Carlos and Lando scowled at Landon, who scowled back at them. "What was wrong with that take?" Lando demanded. His child—shockingly bossy at just 12—stood from their director's chair (Carlos regretted ever giving his children a credit card for emergency purposes) and shook their head.

"It's too dramatic! And papá, you're supposed to be slimier."

"Slimier?" Carlos demanded. "What do you mean? This is romantic!"

"It's not supposed to be romantic! You're supposed to be a creep! You're manipulating daddy!"

"I cannot do this," Carlos said, nearly dropping Lando in his haste to cross his arms across his chest. "Slimy? No. I refuse this direction."

"Then I'm just going to have to find another mob boss," Landon muttered, writing...something...in their little notebook.

"What?" Carlos said, his eyes wide. "No! You said I was perfect for this role!"

"Well, I was wrong," Landon shot back, and Carlos actually wilted. "If you can't be slimy, you can't play the role. And daddy! You're not supposed to be all damsel-y! You're supposed to reject his advances, because you know he's trying to manipulate you!"

"Well- I-" Lando stammered, "but he's being nice."

"And that's the problem!"

"I feel like," Charlie piped up from the kitchen, where he was icing a dozen carrot cake cupcakes, "I need to remind everyone this is supposed to be a family show for Christmas at gran and granddad's."

"Uncle Ollie's family is doing Romeo and Juliet," Allegra said, utterly checked out from her family's nonsense. She was meant to be the detective who would expose Carlos for his crimes.

"And we need to win," Landon said, thunder in their voice, "or do you want Uncle Ollie to remind us all year that we didn't take things seriously—again."

Carlos and Lando looked at each other. They weighed it all: the absurdity of the task at hand, the playful competition that was meant to be encouraged by this family tradition, the risk of encouraging too much bossiness in their child.

Then, as one, they looked at Landon and nodded. "We'll do better."

"Good," Landon said, and they sat back down in their chair. "I'm not letting Mila brag all year again."

[carletes]

that sassy carlos video made me think of their kids having this tone when someone tries to mess with them.

“Did you know that if you swallow a watermelon seed it will grow in your stomach?”

“No, your tummy will digest it :/ Did your parents tell you that? Well they lied to you :/“

“…Lando your child is broken.”

“No, that’s on you for forgetting who their other parent is.”

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY'RE LIKE THAT? BECAUSE THEIR PAPÁ IS THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN THE WORLD. carlos and lando send the kids to an expensive international private school in Switzerland so they, of course, have that fun british international school accent, so of course.....

"Leggy, can you pass me the pah-me-zahn?"

And, of course, Carlos latches on to this. "Oh, PAH-ME-ZA~AHN? PahmeZAHN, eh? Oh, so fancy, ooooh, do you want some tea?"

"Oh my god, papá."

"Pah-PAAAAH? Oh, sorry, I am just a papá, I do not know pah-PAAAAAH~"

"DAAAADDY, HE'S BEING ANNOYING AGAIN."

"D~A~A~A~DDY~"

"I HATE YOU!"

[carletes]

Mpreg carlandads. Inspired by the video. Lando and Carlos going to McLaren to show off the newest baby and Carlos just looking at lando holding their baby and just needing to have another one with him

"This is Landon," Lando pronounced proudly to the gaggle of MTC employees cooing at the bundle in his arms. "He was, like, a little over three kilograms? When he was born?"

"3.2 kg," Carlos murmured automatically, enraptured.

"Right! 3.2 kg! He was born around 4am, which is fucked up."

"You're going to swear in front of him?!" someone demanded, and Lando snorted.

"We swear in front of Allegra and Charlie all the time, and they're fine!" Lando shot back.

"One time, Allegra called me a fuck-knob," another employee complained.

"Well, you're kind of a fuck-knob," Lando said calmly. Landon fussed at that, his tiny paw clenching tight around his father's necklace. Lando's entire demeanor changed; his eyes softened, the broadest, happiest smile spreading across his face as he resettled Landon with sweet nothings and a practiced shift in his weight.

Carlos felt his heart would burst. Carlos's heart did burst. He was beautiful, his Lando, always but especially now with the glow of parenthood throwing his features into perfect relief, his tired eyes only accentuating the twinkle in his eyes. It had only been about two weeks since they'd had Landon, a difficult delivery made easier by a good sleeper, and yet...

Later in the car, Carlos would open his mouth, close it, open it again, and then purse his lips tight. He couldn't. It was too selfish. Too much to ask. And yet, it was Lando who gave him a sidelong glance, smiled beatifically, and said, "I know. In a couple years, maybe?"

"Whenever," Carlos whispered hoarsely, "as many as you want."

"Jesus, mate, just one more's fine!" Lando protested, and Carlos laughed thickly through his tears because one more was fine.

But if Lando ever asked for more, who was Carlos to deny the love of his life?

[carletes]

lol I’m incapable of romanticizing pregnancy

Carlos and Lando being terrified of how tiny their newborn is. Carlos in particular becoming scared of corners, surfaces, and anything soft and fluffy (he did so much reading. So much.)

Lando demanding more and more absurd foods late second trimester because he gets turned on watching Carlos problem solve

As someone who hated being pregnant, I kind of enjoy romanticizing it for others 😭

It was inevitable. Someone was going to bang Charlie and/or Allegra’s little heads against the door frames. God only knew how many exhausted nights they had spent bobbing rhythmlessly on the balls of their feet, shushing until the sound felt like it was coming from somewhere outside their selves, pirouetting, squatting, whatever it took to get their twin babies sleeping.

So, when Lando—in the middle of feeding Charlie—heard a dull thud, a cry of panic and dismay, and then a wail, he knew what had happened. He sighed, stood up, and carefully walked over to where Carlos was scanning Allegra’s curly little head with wild eyes.

“Carlos,” Lando said with another sigh, and his husband looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes as their daughter screamed.

“I hurt her!” he said, louder than even Allegra, which was impressive. “Oh my god. Oh Dios. Oh, jesucristo. Her head isn’t formed. Her bones- they’re soft! Her, um, plates! Oh, god, what if she’ll be deformed, what if-”

“She’s fine,” Lando said tiredly. And in fact, Allegra had calmed down a little. Where before her screaming was clearly less to do with pain and more to do with outrage at her general positioning as a newborn in the world, she was now staring curiously at her papá, only occasionally emitting shrill, grumpy noises. “Carlos.”

“But she-” Carlos stammered, his eyes red and watery, “she- she trusted me- she’s so tired and-”

“She’s not the only one who’s tired,” Lando pointed out. He looked down at their son, Carlos’s namesake, and smiled softly: he, at least, was asleep. While Carlos held Allegra close to his chest, gazing after Lando with a lost, devastated expression, Lando carefully deposited Charlie into his crib. Then, he took Carlos—Leggy and all—into his arms.

“You need a break. I need a break. We need their grandparents. Yeah?”

Carlos made a sound as if he was about to protest. Then he exhaled and leaned all his weight against Lando. “Yeah,” he said. “Yes. We do. Twins aren’t easy.”

“They’re not,” Lando agreed, his still-aching abdomen protesting slightly at Carlos’ weight. But it was good. He had had his own meltdowns over the last week; and while his parents and Carlos’ parents had offered to help out, postpartum blues were not fun. Now, though, he was willing.

Then, Lando smiled. “But you’re still good at taking care of them, babe.”

Carlos looked at Lando, then looked down at their daughter. Caught between the warmth of her fathers, Allegra had fallen asleep, utterly ignorant to her papá’s anxieties.

“Oh,” Carlos whispered. He gently peeled away from Lando and pressed Allegra close to his chest. He took a deep draw of the scent of her skull, her neck, and exhaled again. “Mi vidita,” he whispered to her, and the smile across his face made Lando’s heart bloom with love. “Te quiero mucho, angelita.”

After Carlos had carefully put Allegra in her own crib, Lando quietly took hold of Carlos’s hand and led him to bed. They didn’t discuss anything; they just settled on their respective sides, in the positions that felt most comfortable, and slept.

And, as always, their fingers somehow met in the space between.

[carletes]

What era carlando would you choose? Teammates?? Current?? Or (my favourite) carlandads playing with the kids and getting too into it and not noticing the kids have given up playing with them 🤣

ABSOLUTELY CARLANDADS, I think any time Carlos and Lando decide they’re going to play a game when the kids are around, the kids literally boycott. The second they hear, “Ooh, what’re you playing?” in unison they say “NOTHING, WE’RE ABOUT TO DO HOMEWORK.” Carlos is the most unbearable rules lawyer and Lando is a sore loser and a worse winner and the kids would rather do ANYTHING else than be around for them playing any competitive game. The house never looks cleaner than when Lando and Carlos decide they’re going to start a tournament of any kind in a video game.

[carletes]

in my head, after a fan shows their nail art to lando, he gets really into painting his nails but he’s shit at doing it himself, so carlos— who’s spent years painting ana and blanca’s nails— paints lando’s nails whenever he wants. and when they get married, since they can’t wear their rings, lando has all of his nails painted except the left ring finger one, and carlos only has that one painted

Oh my god this is SOOOOO CUTE 🥺🥺🥺 I love the idea that Blanca and Ana terrorized their middle sibling and only brother by forcing him to paint their nails and over time it stopped being such a punishment and was a way to bond instead. Lando thinks Carlos would judge him for it but Carlos only judges the sloppy application. He offers to fix it and then it just becomes a routine; this happens even before they get together, I think. When they come out as being together, the nail art grows to reflect that; little 55s on Lando’s nails or a chili decal (“It’s a stencil,” Carlos takes pains to clarify, “I am not that good!”). And then as you say, the first time Carlos wears nail polish is when they’re married!

So you can imagine how easy it is for Carlos to rise to the occasion when their lil enby bb Lan asks to have his nails painted by papá too.