#carlyonexplore

[carlytwinkleazella]

It's been a while since I feel like myself. And it's been a while since that day. I'm still not feeling like myself but it's okay, right? I've been depleted from my confidence, my little self love I have left. Cuz everytime I post a picture of myself, when I was feeling good about it (even when I don't feel it often), there are people with the tendency to bring such hate, to body shaming people who's holding onto the thin threat just to stay alive. And tough as it is to say, there are people like that in my life too. Instead of lifting people up, they excel in dragging them to the dark pit of well. These people don't know how hard it is to scrape microscopic fragments of self love, self acceptance just to not end one's life due to overloaded self hatred. Parts of me wanting them to one day be able to taste such medicine and see how bitter it tasted but part of me wanting no one else to have to go through it. So here I am, after a while, feeling like I am OK again. Feeling like it's OK to show people who I am and how I look like again and not caving myself up. If u wanna say I'm fat, u can shut it, I know I am. U don't need to voice ur unwelcomed opinion. U're not in my shoe, and just like I am not in urs, u don't know what my life is steering toward and how it has been. So I appreciated if u have nothing nice to say, I prefer u keep ur ugly thoughts to urself and hopefully have fun with it on ur own. Sincerely Yours, Carly #justcarly #goodvibes#goodday #carlyinVictoria #CarlyOnExplore #victoria #canada #outandabout#randomthoughts #cambodian #cambodia #khmer #bored #selfie #quickselfie #selca #random #sorandom #fromsorascave #cavewoman #Happiness #selflove #quicksnap #mirrorselfie #mirror (at Victoria, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXSFSrLJWAJ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[carlytwinkleazella]

[The Big City] I felt like I haven't give this city enough cridit for being itself. I've been judging this city as a whole based on my unfortunate incident. I chose to blindly judge it by how I felt being in the city. And that's just not fair for it. This city is beautiful, it's splendid, it's escalated, it's thrilling, it's vibrant, it's frenatic, it's stimulating, it's like any other big city but more. The chaotic and the lively of the city is almost vaguely divided, I'm not sure if the liveliness made it chaotic or vice versa but it's the thrill u get being in the big city with multiculture co-exist and Co-depending on one another. It's wild its gentle, in mostly beautiful way. There are so much to see and to do with so little time. It deserve all the recognition it could get. Having been one of the earliest settlements and developed into the fusion of modern and antique infrastructure despite the harse weather, Montreal has to be the best city in Canada. And I shouldn't let my negative experience clouded that in anyway. Which is why this is the appreciation post for this city. The city of many, of million but I won't be one of it... #montreal #CarlyOnExplore #CarlyinMontreal #girlmeetsworld #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #adventure #throwback #carlyinCanada #lifeincanada https://www.instagram.com/p/CGoC54sDc0m/?igshid=1e9dc7ixxt0z1

[carlytwinkleazella]

#littlethingsappreciationpost #victoriaappreciationpost Small things that matters, so yesterday, I've met à bunch of good things and people. There's a customers who said to me, "you're a pleasant." and another who said, "it's good to see your cheery smile early in the morning", and another "I appreciate you being here for us" these kind of small things warms my heart whether they mean it or not. After I left work, a regular customer in his 60-70s saw me on the road and we stopped and chatted for awhile. He asked if I wanted a better place and jobs, and said à person as kind and nice as me deserves more and so on and so forth, this is comforting to hear how people view you. While I was chatting to him, there's a lady walking in an opposite direction from me, mouthing to ask if everything is OK because I was talking to the old man that looks off.she was willing to offer a helping hand had I needed any. But I signal to her that I am alright and that the person I was talking to was a person I know. In that kind of situation, had that not been a person I know that I chatted with, I would have really needed a helping hand. These kind of attitude are what we needed right now, in this blind cruel world... But even in this harsh fast pace world, there's always a beautiful soul you're bounced to stumble upon. So if u read up to this point, please hang in there, the world may not be a better place but there sure is people who are there for you when u needed... #appreciate #carlyinVictoria #CarlyOnExplore #victoria #canada #outandabout #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #throwback #tbt https://www.instagram.com/p/CCOPlbAjiZ0/?igshid=1abjpg0wbiq5h

[carlytwinkleazella]

All I wanted was to be good enough for a change... Good enough for me, good enough for u, good enough for us, is it that hard? How far should I push to reach you? How far should I keep pursuing you? Will u stop running and look back at me for once? #justcarly #smile #CarlyOnExplore #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #outandabout #edmacgregorpark #sooke #edmacgregor #park #walkway #summer #vibes #summervibes #goodvibes #goodday #adventure #throwback (at Ed Mcgregor Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCHPi-Ij3Vb/?igshid=lt7zgbr6n8vw

[carlytwinkleazella]

In my attempt to make myself look slimmer lmao.... Was born short and fat, but I tried my best wahahaha #portagepark #CarlyOnExplore #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #outandabout #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #adventure #throwback (at Portage Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAL0dtGDZ_N/?igshid=1jvfre4patm2d

[carlytwinkleazella]

Such a view is so captivating, it keeps u back for more... Something that made Victoria, a small capital city, charming all year round... Think I'll make here home... #justcarly #goodvibes #goodday #CarlyOnExplore #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #outandabout #finlaysonpoint #journeyoflife #Lifejourney #journey #throwback (at Finlayson Point) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_NssEHDxl5/?igshid=44q3prbshkeu

[carlytwinkleazella]

#being25 #alettertomyself Nothing too fancy, I'm just sleeping it away as per usual haha I don't know what 25 may brings but I'm as ready as I could be. Like 24th thanking 23th, my 25th is started off thanking my 24th. If 23th was a remarkable year of self-finding, 24th is the milestone year of challenges and self-dependency, it was quite a journey to get this far and it still and will always be a dream. Finally moved to a different country, a totally strange place without any familiarity. It was nerve wrecking if I have to tell the truth. Because never in my wildest dream I believe I could be here but a year went by like a spring flower bloom, and here I am, making a life on the new land. Tough but exciting, tired but worth it. I follow my heart here and 24th helped push me thus far. I realized à lot of thing today. I realized of how many blessing I have, how many people cares, and how much I am appreciated. Still lacking of so much but I'm working on it. Half a step at a time works, the result only show when I looked back 3 or 4 years ago. I've come so far to back down now so I have no choice but to push forwards and see through it till the end. i will look forwards to how my life unfold right in front of my eyes and I'll make sure to remind myself to take in all of it, the experiences that I will onyl be able to experience once and once only. I will live in the present and no longer in the past. I'm hoping my 25th will let me improve myself. Still in self-healing, but I'm going to add one more self-care to my list. Im going to keep working on my insecurities, anxiety, depression and most importantly toxic traits, rid of it before it's too late. Still working to be a better person I could be confidently proud of. I'm glad I didn't end my life at the toughest point cuz the view I'm seeing right now is Hella awesome. This is my roller coaster ride, it won't always be nice but life is a ride or die so, I'll just go along with it. You've done good, Carl! Uve done good so far. Keep going, like always, half a step at a time. #being25 #CarlyOnExplore #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #justcarly #milestonejourney #milestone #journey (at Victoria, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-q4TSajg-0/?igshid=1q9kx7f2iyo2x

[carlytwinkleazella]

『春のストーリー』 春になっているね〜〜 花が咲くけど、いい気持ち時ですけど、私の初めてはるですけど、これは私の初めて春を祝ってない。。。優しいくて暖かくて楽しくてを欲しいんだ。今はね、みんな帰ります！私の最初の友も最近の友になる人も 全部帰りているそうです。「さようなら」の言葉を言いたくないのに、言わなくてできないんです！笑顔で言いたけど心が寂しいって感じます。「じゃあまた」も嫌いです！2020年は何だろう？嫌い嫌い今年を気持ち悪いです！何で？３ヶ月くらい入ってだけのに。この事の上に 大切な人もあって行ってできません。会いたいのに！お久しぶりのに〜 抱きしめたいのに〜ずーっとこの時を待ってのに〜2020年お前は何だけ？ こんな春はやーだ！！ いらないー 【自分の考える事】 #nofilter #flower #spring #CarlyOnExplore #carlyinVictoria #victoria #canada #cherryblossom https://www.instagram.com/p/B-JH1vIDZna/?igshid=nzkllw8h5sjw