Scientist MC ( Power points part 2)
Word count: 1.2k
YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY
“Care to enlighten me on how you got out?”
“Well I didn’t need 6 pacts this time :) “
“MC please stop smiling like that, it’s ominous”
“And threatening”
“I love how this backfired horribly because I’ve had time to contemplate how horribly you run your STEM fields, but I’m sticking with the sciences again for today.”
“Don’t just ignore me-”
“What do you mean he banished you to a secret room?”
“Do you mean the attic?”
“For spell-bound reasons I can’t say more than no it’s not the attic and that it’s okay because the spell was placed on the door only affected demons and I’m just built different 💅💅💅 either you really have no idea which spells only affect demons or you are selectively stupid Lucifer”
“Did MC really just call Lucifer-”
“I’m gonna keep complaining now-”
Consistency Part 2
“MC not this again-”
“Bitch ass isn’t proper grammar MC”
“Shush. I’ve been taking METICULOUS NOTES on the experiments I’ve been doing in class in my CORNELL STYLED NOTEBOOK SETUP, and I’ve noticed some interesting little quirks”
“Like what?”
“First a theoretical question, think back to your spells, what would you all say your average success rate is, when it requires ingredients, measurements and all that”
“Can I leave? I’m bored”
“I’ll try to be brief. I’d do everything exactly as my instructions say and even then only have a 30% chance of not singeing my eyebrows again. Sometimes it seems like you’d all instinctually know what was wrong; the flames should be higher, you should use more extract, blegh. And even then, iffy.”
“What’s this?”
“Copies of all of my experiments and notes on how I IMPROVED them :) “
“Where did you even get glass beakers and human science equipment to do this?”
“Not important; amorphous shifter potion needs to be at least 450*F, the reason this and MANY other spells work well in OLDER cauldrons rather than new ones is because the rusting of older ones incorporates small amounts of iron, oxygen, and carbon that change the potion. The one on the second page deteriorates at 500 degrees but can be restored with about 20 mg of dried thorn root. After that-...”
“MC this is wonderful but there is some issue; we don’t manufacture this type of glass or equipment that would be on par with human world standards but still strong enough to withstand the Devildom’s harsher use, conditions and experimentation”
“Open up trade with the human realm. I can be a broker of sorts between you two until you better establish connections or I could learn to make them myself, or-”
“That’s not really the problem MC, the dangers of dependence notwithstanding, I feel like you’re asking us to damage our natural resources to be able to make these ourselves”
“Wait, wh-”
“Well just think about it; to be able to make these, even if we didn’t mass produce them, we’d be having to use a lot of our natural resources, the pollution that will be produced during the trial and error phase of manufacturing will be obscene. We’d have to think this out carefully-”
“Dare I say, he’s calling you an elitist MC”
“ELITIST??”
“Ix nay ethay elitistway alktay mcay isway onnagay anglestray ouyay atway isthay ateray”
“IF I WASN’T LIVID I’D KNOW WHAT YOU WERE SAYING-”
“Heeeyyy MC what about we move on to the next slide-”
‘I swear I thought I saw their forehead vein pulse”
Moon Baby pt 2
“Since you had so much to say last time we talked about the moon, I gave it some more thought.”
“Maybe we should be giving you MORE homework, you obviously have time to kill”
“This one wasn’t a difficult extension. Your planet is either NOT moving or moving at a VERY slow pace, there’s nothing I can remember that explicitly states that planets HVAE to move. It’s more of an assumption that they do because of their natural tilt and the varying strength of my sun’s gravitational pull. There is also a very real chance that the angle between the moon, earth, sun, and rotation speeds all cancel out perfectly so you never face the sunlight.”
“Oh THAT’s reasonable but not having a sun is out of the realm of possibility?”
“It would explain why your season’s don’t vary a lot either, the angle-speed bit at least. “
“MC I still don’t think-”
“I’m starting to think that YOU never do, which is why I also made this-”
Moon? Baby part 3
*MC pauses, looking at the screen for a second before pulling out a pocket notebook and scribbling, muttering to themselves*
“MC, we can’t hear you”
“Stop mumbling MC, I can’t stand it.”
*faster scribbles, some scratching out, random pointing”
“MC!”
“CAN IT GOTHEL I’M HAVING AN EPIPHANY HERE. UGH! OKAY FOLLOW ME ON THIS:-”
“Wow, okay this could branch into so many directions! Um! Moon, reflect, right? Reflects sun, but you don’t have phases so back to my last point it could be that your planet moves VERY slowly, or it’s actually flat which would be WILD, OR-”
“MC when was the last time you got some sleep?”
“YOUR MOON IS ACTUALLY A SUN”
“Im sorry, is this because I woke you up at midnight yesterday? I’ll let you sleep from now on, I promise-”
“AND FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT IT DIRECTLY THERE COULD BE A THICK CONTAMINENTS IN THE AIR ACTING AS A FILTER TO BLOCK OUT THE RADIATION! And it’s so close but not horrendously bright! Which would make it a DYING star! It could be set to implode within your life time!”
“MC!”
“WELL YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL ME THAT!”
“Oh great, you even freaked out the shut in”
“Of course I care if my planet explodes! It’s where I have all my merch!”
“How about we all take a break, MC you’ve been talking for a while, do you want some water? Food?”
“THE THEORIES-”
Water under the bridge
“Wait MC, I didn’t get a good look at that one.”
“You know what, yeah, let me go back to it.”
“.........” (9 times over)
“This slide was supposed to be me forgiving you guys for the belittlement of last time, but after calling me ELITIST I wanted to skip this slide. Thankfully, I don’t forgive you in the meme, and if the shoe fits ... :) “
“*sigh* Please MC, calling you a-”
“IF. THE. SHOE. FITS.”
“Well, ya are acting-”
“Maybe you can throw me across the room like it’s no trouble but I’m starting to think I’m the only motherfucker in here that can do calculus”
“?? OooOOoohhHHhHh math? what are you gonna do? give me headache?”
“Give me a week in a lab and your magic won’t be worth shit”
“MC, don’t be crass”
“I could level your shit now Solomon, don’t try me”
“Well then... It’s the pretentious arrogance and ethnocentrism. For me.”
“SOMEONE GRAB MC”
Closing statements
“Okayy has everyone settled down again?”
*grumbling*
“Good. Well, this was supposed to be a joke but it fell flat, like SOMEONE when they tried to jump the table just now”
“Keep talking shit and I’ll do it again.”
“You feeling froggy? Leap bitch”
“MOTHER F-” *Solomon gets dragged out by Mammon and Beel.*
“Um, so yeah. this was supposed to be a joke about letting me stay in the Devildom and letting me help expand your sciences and your society but after today-”
“Well, I’m calling the meeting end this time. Thank you for the lively presentation MC, and don’t go near Purgatory Hall this week”
“Ditto”
