#caro replies

[artsywitchling]

thank u @littlepennycandy 💜 I will take some photos with me, so hopefully it will be very clear what I want :) And I will do my best to say when I don't like something 🌸

[bittcrblue]

@wanderingbasilisk​ said: no idea if youre still doing this 😂 your ask box is closed. (If youre not, feel free to ignore!) But im curious about what wildemount 68 is? (Is that a reference to smthing? No idea 😂) Also cant not ask about this single dad essek? ??

Hi, first of all, I’m a moron and I’m fixing this as we speak! ^^; 

So, a brief topos of both these AUs, and then I’ll post snips under read-more :)

a) Wildemount 68 is a deeply self-indulgent AU set in a pseudo-20th century Wildemount based on the student revolts of 1968 in France and Germany. (I am French) I think that it’s a really fitting setting both for the quasi- Cold War setting of the Empire and Dynasty after the end of the war (racing for technologies, etc) and because I think that Caleb as a character really fits into the attitude of what is called the Long March to the Institutions, where a subsect of the 1968 student revolutionnaries decided to move into a path of reform and enter positions of government, etc. (Most of those politicians became less and less radical as time went on. There’s a good German teen film called Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei! which deals with this.) I also just think that I want to see the M9 chainsmoking in a Parisian café or lecture hall as they plan their revolt. (In this au, also, Fjord is a theatre major.)

b) Single Dad Essek Au is born out of my urge to always give uppity fictional men a baby to slobber on them and knock them down a peg. In this AU (and in all of my fics, actually) there is a character called Cousin Misphi, who is Essek’s cousin and is on her second lifetime and is overall a bad, but down to earth, influence on him in formative years. In SDEAU, she dies during the first skirmishes of the war - and because Essek traded away the Rosohna beacons, the one nearest the Ashguard Garrison was moved to Rosohna, and Misphi won’t be reconsecuted. Essek, experiencing Guilt and The Consequences of His Actions much earlier than in canon, takes the first step of repentence by taking in her 3yo tiefling daughter, Sokoya (his second cousin, for those following at home). This will tint his interactions with the Nein and change the way that things develop during the Rosohna arc. (This will also make him less suspicious, because the Dynasty sees him harried and stressed and not sleeping and go “ah, yes, the terrible threes”.)

Snippets now!

a)  “Ach, scheisse, I’m running out,” Caleb says, pulling his last cigarette from the case and tapping it against the table. “Does anyone have rolling papers?”

“I’ve got you,” Veth said immediately, digging through her purse. “Do you have tobacco? How are you on money?”

“I’m fine, maman,” he smiles, not rolling his eyes only out of affection.

“Don’t you maman me, I’ve had my tongue in your mouth,” she scolds.

“Come here, Caleb,” Jester interrupts, and Caleb leans in to press his unlit cigarette to the burning cherry of hers, breathes in deep. He has not kissed Jester Lavorre in any way that matters, but this will have to suffice him. He leans back and blows a smoke ring.

“Very cool, dipshit.” Beauregard drops into a chair next to him. “Are we actually here to talk about plans, or is this just going to devolve into an orgy? Because there’s only so many times we can be libertines ‘ironically’.”

“I’m preparing web of fire and catapult tomorrow,” Caleb says. 

“I still think we should use fluffernutter,” Veth grumbles. Jester cheers.

“You are all so intense,” Fjord despairs. “What’s wrong with just throwing a rock, or a bottle? By Melora.”

“She’ll be there, don’t worry,” Caduceus says over his cup of tea. “I’m already anticipating that this will go terribly wrong.”

“Maybe it will only go somewhat wrong? Does that make you feel better?”

“That does not, Yasha, but thank you.”

b) Sokoya is a stubborn child - “You were much worse,” says the Umavi, fondly - who loves to chatter, even if little of what she says is coherent. At least thirty percent of Essek’s day, court notwithstanding, is spent nodding and making affirmative noises, saying “No, indeed?” and “Quite” whenever she pauses in her stories. She rarely forgives the moments when he leaves to answer Sendings, both the mundane and the confidential, and will chase after him to smack at his ankles and knees. “I wasn’t done,” she will whine, and Essek will be struggling not to lash out in agony. 

It takes a few months for her to learn that no, we don’t hit Cousin Esse in the legs, that isn’t acceptable behaviour because he is injured and it hurts. 

“How would you like it if I did this?” Essek asks, and rubs his knuckles into the top of her head roughly, and she shrieks, trying to bite at his forearm with her fangs, which are still baby-sharp. 

“Ow! Ouchie!” she yells. 

“Yes, ouchie,” Essek says sternly. “We don’t hit people. Not only is it painful and rude, it’s also tacky. We’re not middle class. We are a ruling den, and we act like it.” 

Sokoya lashes her tail back and forth, short as it is, and then toddles over to press a kiss against Essek’s shin.

“Better?” she asks, and he can’t help but laugh. 

“I’m not sure what clerical discovery you’ve just made,” Essek says, and picks her up to great cheering. “But it was truly innovative. Groundbreaking stuff. Are you sure you didn’t cast cure wounds?”

“Cured,” she repeats smugly. “Kiss it better and it’s cured.”

“That doesn’t work for anything else, so we’re clear,” Essek says. “If you hurt yourself, come find me or get help.”

“Cured,” she insists, and Essek sighs.

“Let’s call this one a learning experience and move on, shall we?”

[artsywitchling]

That coworker sounds like an asshole. I know people who are far, far older than 28 who don't "have it together," (honestly, does anyone ever have it together?) and they're still living fulfilling lives and are deserving of respect. I hope that they don't bother you again and that you have a good day despite their negativity!

Thank you 🧡 I know I shouldn't even be listening to those comments of people I don't even care about, but having it said directly to my face hurts a lot. I guess people really don't know that in those situations they just put even more pressure on people, who are already enduring all the pressure they putting on themself. I would love to be a successful independent illustrator, but I do struggle with a lot of mental health baggage that I just started to unpack. And all of that hinders me in accomplishing my dreams. I know that at the moment it looks like I got an arts degree for nothing. But I'm getting there. And as you said, it doesn't mean that I am less worthy of respect and kindness. Reading your uplifting message and also the kind messages on my post helps a lot 🧡I try my best to forget about her and giving here no ammo anymore. She has no right to know more about me, if all she does with the informoration is to put me down. Sending lots of love to your way 🌼 Thank you for your kindness ☀️

[artsywitchling]

I don't know if you're referring to this feeling-but I constantly get this feeling of judgement (from myself or invisible nobodies) when it comes to art and what I like to draw. Is that what your describing? If so, how do you deal with it? :(

I think that's it, yeah. I feel like what used to help me back then was finding a community that likes the same things as I do. I share my art with my friends that I know like it when I show them something and that helps me to feel better about myself and my interests and preferences. When I was younger, I really liked rare ships in fandoms, and even for them there were people who enjoyed the content. It might help to remind yourself that most people on this planet are actually really nice and don't want to hurt others. The haters are usually just a handful that just seem to be a bit too loud for their own good. But even when I was at my highest on this platform, I never really got mean comments about my art or the things I drew about. They were literally just trolls, trying to rile me up to make themself feel powerful bc they managed to make someone else feel bad.

I guess you just have to let yourself indulge in your art. It's something that is meant to come from your heart and it's meant to be fun and supposed to make you happy. I still struggle posting things. But I try to jump over my shadow and open up a bit, bc I really hope to be able to connect with others again over things I enjoy. I have a long way to go, but I'm sure things will get easier, both for you and me <3

[artsywitchling]

hello I've been following your blog for years and I get so happy to see you posting art again.

Thank you 💜 I'm still struggling a bit but I really try to draw a lot more now. I'm still very hesistant drawing fanart and stuff. But I like to post a bit original content here and there 🙂 Thank you for being loyal to my blog. It makes me happy, knowing some people are still around from back then 🌸

[artsywitchling]

since recovering from clinical depression, i've started to use NY resolutions as a sort of self-care hack? like, instead of a big lofty goal/habit that you might have to struggle to fulfill, i tend to just go like, "this year i want to do something kind for myself every day" or "i want to make sure i'm happy for even just an hour each week" so that it brings the focus inward, but also allows for all sorts of growth. to each their own, though!! that might not work for you, but i really enjoy it:)

That sounds really nice! I need to try that! Thank you for telling me about it :) I wish you all the best on your path!

[artsywitchling]

I am so happy to see Benjamin's little comic and I am more than excited to see more of his story as you feel comfortable sharing it with the world!

thank you so much for your lovely message! It makes me really happy to see other people being excited with me :) Benjamin is extremely close to my heart and I'm already working on part 2 this weekend! I am really really motivated to bring this story to life!

[artsywitchling]

Watching Avatar as a child, I wanted to become part of the team. Watching Avatar as an adult makes me want to adopt them all and make them appointments with a therapist.

This is spot on exactly how I feel about them.