Jan 30, 2016
[screeching] “If a FLAMINGO ... is punched ... in the FOREST,... and no one is around to hear it,.. dOES IT MAKE A SOUND?!??” - @thedoctormyhealer
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[screeching] “If a FLAMINGO ... is punched ... in the FOREST,... and no one is around to hear it,.. dOES IT MAKE A SOUND?!??” - @thedoctormyhealer
On marijuana legalization.
We are having a discussion about the legalization of marijuana, and I am telling him about some companies that want to start a marijuana franchise.
CB: What? That's so crazy. So, do they legalize pot where black people are?
Me: What. What do you mean?
CB: Well, black people are aggressive, and pot calms people down. So legalizing where there are lots of black people would calm them down.
On home renovation.
He recently bought a new home.
CB: What should I do to decorate my new house?
Me: I don't know.
CB: I was thinking about making a grass wall. I would mount the TV in front of it. So the grass would surround the TV. Wouldn't that be cool?
Me: Err....sure?
CB: I think that would be pretty cool. I'm also thinking of using stickers to make a 2D tree. And where branches come out, I will put a platform for my cat to sit on.
Me: What if your cat doesn't want to use it?
CB: I don't know. I can use it for storing things.
Me: Man, home renovations must be expensive.
CB: Yeah. And my girlfriend wants to buy all new appliances! She wants to change toilets, washer, dryer, sinks, everything! So expensive! Why do we have to do that? So useless. Decorating is so much better.
On personal time
CB: I should take a sick day and go watch some movies. Then I can get paid while watching movies.
Me: Why not just go on saturday or sunday?
CB: No way man! That's my personal time!
On global politics.
CB: If we could just get rid of Russia, China, and North Korea, the world would be a better place.
On a new car invention.
CB: You know what would be great? If you could build a suction cup for a car. You can use it to attach to other cars. You would get really close to the car in front, and then *suction noise* you can use their car to tow your car. It could use magnets.
Me: What if they go somewhere you don't want to go?
CB: Obviously the idea needs to be fine tuned. And you would be able to detach it.
One day later
CB: I still think the suction cup thing could work.
On the Rosetta's Comet landing
CB: So did you hear about the comet landing?
Me: Yeah, they even had a live broadcast of the landing.
CB: Oh, really? It's so cool that they can do this. It must have been so hard!
Me: Yeah, it was 10 years in the making. Crazy that it was feasible.
We have a small discussion about how awesome the operation is. He also "explains" to me how difficult it must have been to land it using some bouncing ball analogy.
CB: Man, it must have been so hard to get funding. There are so many risks to doing stuff like this.
Me: Yeah. But a lot of these things are funded by government agencies. And people who want to expand our knowledge of the universe.
CB: You know what would be so cool? If they find diamonds on the comet! If they find diamonds and bring them back, earth diamonds will be so cheap! Not worth anything anymore! Because we would have space diamonds!
Me: ...Even if they did, they can't bring the samples back or anything.
CB: I guess so. Man, if they can calculate the trajectory and stuff, they should have simply attached jets to the comet so they can make it orbit the earth!
Me: What. That's impossible. Not with the technology we have today. Maybe wait another 100 years or so.
CB: No way! It would have been super easy. I mean, if they could figure all the other stuff out, why not do this? We can push the comet into earth's orbit and then we could send people to the comet itself and they can extract whatever they find on the comet!
Me: ....You do realize it's a lot harder than you make it sound, right?
CB: Maybe. I don't know, I think it would be easy.
CB: Isn't the comet the size of like...that truck over there? *points to a semi*
Me: No. Much bigger.
On raising cats.
I have recently acquired a new kitten.
CB: So have you given your cat milk?
Me: Of course not. That's dangerous for the cat.
CB: I tried to give my cat milk before. She wouldn't drink from it. I thought it would be like the cartoons and shows where cats like milk. She DID drink creamer though. You know, like those little cartons you get for coffee.