Pursuit of Peace
In the beginning, my biggest source of apathy, my #1 excuse to not pursue happiness was that the pursuit of happiness denies peace. Everyone does stuff to be happy, no one the happier, like a carrot on a stick, accumulating the ability to lose just that much more.
So I stopped trying. It was one of many reasons I stopped trying, but it was the most prominent, the most preeminent, the most immovable reason with no recourse or resolution, and so it remained, like a mountain in the distance that I dared not visit.
Now I see that peace can be sought out and maintained, not in happiness but in truth. Happiness exists only in the confines of peace, so peace must be sought first.
And how does one find peace? Through silence, through stillness, through the detachment of everything one holds dear. Then you pick it up, then you pick them back up again and none is the wiser, leaving poor fools like me still searching for some meaning of truth.
