#carvemyface

[cplusstudios928]

Out Now! @officialtwiztid and @iamtheroc dropped Carve My Face. Peep @thetruesexyninja review. Link in our bio. Like and Subscribe. #Twiztid #TheROC #CarveMyFace #halloween #MajikNinjaEntertainment (at Flagstaff, Arizona) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4DGqgbFZlw/?igshid=33li53y3rbhk

[kirstenalfaro]

The Begining of Learning to Carve Myself

I'm not sure how this whole thing works. And its late to begin with. Which is wonderful. BUT my life and my face are two completely different things, I can't say "I just put on a fake front," because that's not what it is. I'm a relatively happy person with a lot of shit on her plate, I'm extremely stressed out all that time (and I choose to be that way), because then I don't have to think about the other things that I do which eventually turns into a vicious cycle that I suppose I bring onto myself Anyways, I'm still learning how to carve and mold the person at home and the public person that I am. It's difficult to explain the two people that I am (different and the same), without sounding like I have some kind of double-personality, but its the honest truth. Between the two, I share the same values, morals, hobbies, and passions, but the diffusion of responsibility is just the opposite. At home, I'm an older sister with three younger siblings, living with a single father who struggles to maintain an architectural position because the economy isn't allowing room for it. Basically, without sounded weird, I am the: Big Sister, Mother, and Companion (wife). I am Big Sister to my siblings when we play, tease and have fun, I am Mother when it comes time to making dinner, cleaning the house (or at least part of it), helping with homework and getting to bed on time, and I am Companion (wife) to my father when he tells me about his life and stresses that he as a single parent (father with three daughters and son) holds, and/or helping with paying the bills. I play these huge roles in my family and I don't really have time for myself, or maybe I do and I'm too selfish to see that I do. I also struggle with my cultural Identity. I was born in Mexico, but I'm half white. Am I Mexican? Mexican-American? Chicana? I still don't know, but I'm starting to understand that I am all of these things and I am damn proud of it. I have a love for soccer and being on that field, playing an important role as defender and protecting my goal/team. I hate running and being aggressive, but there's something about soccer that I cant seem to let go of, when I watch others play it- it sings to me. I used to think that my life was simple up until I started writing this post- I'm, a really complicated individual. Inside and out. I have a lot to figure out about myself, and I guess carving my life and face (for everyone to see? or for just me in the mirror?) is something that's going to end up leaving a lot of scars, but I really need it. I don't pay enough attention to myself, I'm too busy helping others carve themselves, while I sit here molding myself to fit their needs. This is the beginning of me carving my face, looking inside myself and seeing that there's a lot more to myself than what even I give myself credit for. Is it bad to say that I'm upset with myself for letting this happen?