So, like many, I have been on the train of human Cas endgame for a while now as well. But I have a different idea to offer today.
One of the main reasons I thought him becoming human was the goal is the happy deal. Because, as per Cas’s own earlier words, only humans can feel true happiness. So, in my mind, Cas had to become human, choose to become human if you will, in order to let himself be happy. And then the Empty would take him (never once have I thought that becoming human would’ve saved him from the Empty, but I get why some people did).
But Cas... oh Cas, that beautiful wonderful angel... he was lying!
He proved in later seasons that angels can feel strong emotions. He was pure emotion the entire last season. With Jack, with Dean. And then the 15x18 hits and he is happy. He is truly, wonderfully happy in that moment, that is not a lie.
At least one angel can feel true happiness, can feel true sorrow. It is not that this angel feels less than humans, that his feelings are muted. No! It’s that his feelings are so big and so overwhelming that he chose to shut them down. I suspect it might be true in some way for all angels, but it’s really true for Cas, the one with the crack in his chassis [insert some meta about Cas being the one who was repressed here].
What did Cas want? He wanted to be with his family of humans, he wanted to have a home with them, with Dean and Jack and Sam and Claire. He wanted to love and be loved in return. Being human or angel would’ve been secondary. A means to get that. His mistake was thinking he’d have to be a powerful angel to get that and since this is a story, of course he would have to be proven wrong and thus, endgame human Cas must be where it’s at. Storytelling, eh?
He was wrong.
But so was I.
Why would he have to change who he was to have it all? No! He would’ve been loved and accepted in any shape or form, we know that, we know that!
Cas being an angel but choosing to feel all those big and overwhelming emotions humans can’t even comprehend, choosing to let that love in, the love those humans felt for him would’ve... well, I personally think it would’ve been even more beautiful than him choosing to become human in order to live and feel the way humans do. Him being accepted for who he was - an angel with too much heart.
Now, there’s several reasons why people wanted human Cas. Destiel? Newsflash, Dean would’ve loved him anyway! Him having to see his family die and live alone for eternity? Umm, angels can see and feel souls, they can go to heaven or hell or wherever. Him having to feel like a guardian? That one is on Castiel and again, choosing to let himself be loved for who he is, it is not written in angelhood. Shitty angelic family? Having a shitty family doesn’t mean you have to change your genes to separate yourself from them.
It comes down to a choice, it always comes down to a choice.
Him choosing to become human.
Him choosing to have those feelings and letting himself be loved while still being an angel.
On this fine day of 2021, my choice is the second one.
