Word of the day {4}
Oneshot summary: You’re left alone with Cas when Sam and Dean leaves the bunker for a case. Meanwhile you don’t only learn that Cas has hidden an injury since the last hunt, you also learn quite a few things about angels and their wings.
Pairing: Castiel x reader
Rating: Mature
CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: Oneshot
Word count; 4.4k
Warnings; suggestive themes, wing!kink, teasing,
Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing
MAIN MASTERLIST
ADVENT CALANDER MASTERLIST
"Hey Y/N!" You heard Dean shout your name and you raised your head from the computer.
"Yeah?" As soon as your gaze flickered from the screen. You saw the boys stand at the entrance of the library.
"We're going out for a quick salt and burn", the older Winchester informed you.
"And you didn't invite me?" You saw how Sams eyebrows raised and how he started to form an apology. And as he excused himself and his brother by arguing it 'was just a short trip', you couldn't hold yourself from chuckling and waving your hand for him to stop. "I'm just messing with you. In fact, I think it's good for your brotherhood doing cases on your own".
"I would rather have you with me. You don't snore in the car", Dean muttered as he turned around, patting Sam's chest in the movement before he started heading for the exit. The brunette didn't look after his brother. Instead, he simply rolled his eyes and tilted his head backwards.
"It was only one time", he called back.
"One time that repeats itself?" Was the hunter's response, continuing to walk out. After releasing a heavy sigh, Sam looked at you.
"Are you sure you rather want to spend time with Cas than prince charming over there?" He pointed discreetly over his shoulder, hope lacing his voice.
"Sorry, I'll take the angel duty today", you laughed while shaking your head. You saw him shrug before beginning to say something.
"You should know..."
"Sammy!" Dean's voice rang out again, to which the brunette couldn't but sigh again.
"I'm coming", he answered before waving goodbye to you. You waved back even though he didn't see the gesture when he turned around and walked out of the room.
The bunker became eerily quiet once the Winchesters left, although you didn't mind it. You sat in the library, browsing for cases that were more than salt and burns, which all of you maybe could head out on when the two of them returned. Sadly though, besides the one Sam and Dean already went on, there wasn't much hope in finding anything else. Disappointed, you therefore pushed yourself out of the seat, heading to get something to drink.
While the journey wasn't far from the library to the kitchen, it seemed you got caught in your own head as you didn't notice the angel sitting at the kitchen table. Not until you turned towards the fridge, seeing something in the peripheral, did you realise you hadn't been alone in the kitchen.
"Oh", you spun towards the dark-haired angel already looking at you. "Hi Cas, I didn't think see you there". He smiled and nodded his head in a greeting back. Although, you didn't note the strain as he did it. Instead, you turned around again, opening the fridge and reached for a water bottle.
Not until you had grasped one of them in your grasp and had closed the fridge did you face Cas once again. However, instead of joining him by the table, you decided to simply lean against the countertop.
Whilst taking a swig of the water, you met his blue eyes, though, only for a fraction of a second before he averted his gaze. And it was whilst he kept staring down onto the table you started to feel like something was not right.
"Cas?" One of your eyebrows raised as you tried, and failed, to get his attention. Something was indeed wrong.
Simultaneously as you pushed away from the countertop, you also abandoned your bottle on top of it. And, even if Cas didn't look up, he must have seen you move towards him as he shuffled to sit a bit straighter in his seat. This time you did, however, notice the strain when he moved.
There was a particular stiffness when he now sat with his back straighter than you'd ever seen. Neither did he move, not even the tiniest shift that was usual to anything alive. But these weren't the only things you started to notice.
Usually, Cas kept his clothes and himself in as pristine condition as possible. Now, his clothes seemed to have been lazily thrown somewhere and later put on again. Seeing how wrinkles littered his dress shirt as well as trenchcoat. The state of his hair wasn't better. It was ruffled as if he'd run his hand's through it one too many times.
"Is something wrong?" Upon asking this while sitting down opposite him, you caught how Cas continuously clenched and unclenched his jaw. "I know you can be this awkward around others, but it was a long time since I was one of those", you half-joked, trying to get a reaction out of him. When only your chuckle was heard, you stopped, furrowing your eyebrows at him. Even times he was stressed, he greeted you with a gentle smile, so you only assumed one thing.
"Castiel", his full name made his head shoot up and his gaze to meet yours. "Are you angry at me?"
"No", he gruffly answered.
"Even though you say so, your tone doesn't imply the same thing", you bit back a smile as confusion made his eyebrows draw together. He adverted his gaze once more, but this time it was followed by a deep breath.
"I'm not angry with you, Y/N", his voice supported what he said this time. "It...". He continued, but as soon as his gaze found yours, he stopped.
"What?" You urged him to continue.
"It just hurts". Never do you think you'd shot up from your sea as quickly as you'd done and, in seconds, stood before Cas. You wanted to turn his face side to side to find the injury he was talking about. But right before your hand settled on his cheek, you froze in your movement.
You didn't know where he was hurt, so you could possibly just make it worse. That was why you settled on looking over him.
"It is not that important", the angel's voice was soft and his blue eyes gentle as he stared at you while you looked him over. Although the reserved facade could've fooled many, you remarked the tick which entered his jaw when he moved his body to face you.
"It isn't nothing, Cas, I can see that much", when he began standing up, you backed away to give him room. Although conflicted about doing so, seeing the grimace twist his face upon his action. "Please, tell me".
Your angel friend relented and purely that he didn't try to convince you any further spoke volumes of the pain he must be in. "On the last hunt", he began, but you zoned out as soon as those words left him.
The last hunt all of you guys had been on, including Cas, was over a week ago. He hadn't looked to be in pain, but the thought of him being hurt for over a week...
The angel said your name, noticing how your eyes got that faraway look in the. However, you were completely unaware of how your angel friend tried gaining your attention as you continued to scan him for the injury he hadn't shown.
"Y/N!" You stilled, not upon his raised voice but when Cas caught your face between his hands, urging you to concentrate on his face only. And you did when a forced inhale sounded from him. Almost as if the effort of bringing your attention to him by moving was too much. That was why you didn't know whether or not your heart jumped a beat because of this. Or the way his gaze intensely locked with yours.
"It... it's", he began, voice wavering before he closed his eyes and continued. "It's my wings", he opened his eyes again once he said it, witnessing how your eyes grew wide while your mouth opened and closed to find anything to say.
"Oh", the meek sound of your voice made Cas smile, though it was a brief one, and let go of you. "I-I...". You fumbled over your words while taking a step back. You'd never gotten to see his wings, only a glimpse on a hunt a year ago. You won't forget it, the way the shadow of his wings unfolded behind him.
"I-If you want, I can help", while you'd tried mustering up enough courage to ask, Cas had walked, something which looked more like limping, to the entrance of the kitchen. However, you were surprised by how fast he turned around when hearing your voice. Although as soon he did, a pained expression dawned on his face. Running forwards to the angel now leaning heavily on the doorframe, you heard him question you.
"Are you sure?" You felt his gaze on you while placing his arm over your shoulders.
"Of course I am, although I would've preferred if you came and personally asked", you looked up at him, smiling when seeing his baffled expression. "Come one, better get you to your room before you collapse on me", you murmured while turning around, slowly enough for him to follow.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Why did God make angels so heavy? Even though you knew Cas didn't lean all his weight on you, the further you walked down the bunkers too long corridors at the moment, the more he did. You almost would say it was by sheer luck you nudged open his door with your foot and got him to sit down on the edge of his bed.
"How are you doing?" You didn't know if angels could get sick, most likely not, but with how white his face went, you began doubting the fact.
"I'm fine", pursing your lips, you squatted down in front of him, hand coming to rest on his knee. It made him open his eyes and look down at you.
"What do you want me to do?" You questioned, watching how he took a few deep breaths before once more forcing himself to stand up. Even though supporting him with a hand on his front and another one on his arms. You knew you would do little to catch his fall if he couldn't keep himself upright. That was why you didn't understand why he forced himself to do stand once more.
Not until he gave you a nod to say he could fend for himself, which you doubted but listened to anyway, and instructed you what to do, did you start to piece things together.
"Firstly, close your eyes". Unsurely you nodded, lifting your hand to cover them as Cas had said, however halting when you saw what happened next. He shrugged off his trenchcoat with great effort, tossing it over the chair not far away. Afterwards, he undid the button on his suit jacket and not until he had taken that off as well did his eyes find yours.
"If you're going to get naked, I need a warning". Wide-eyed, you looked at how the angel's tie hung loosely around his neck while the dress-shirt clung to his body as the only layer shielding his skin from your view. A gentle blush covered his cheeks as he shifted the grip on the blazer, changing it from one hand to the other. The move made your eyes flicker down to it and then back to his eyes.
"It's only the top. It makes it less uncomfortable", Cas said bashfully. While nodding, his blazer and tie joined the coat. However, you couldn't pull your eyes away when his fingers expertly opened the buttons on his shirt one after one. When half of his chest was visible, he looked up again, most definitely feeling your eyes still being on him. You noticed his eyebrows raising when he caught you, a smile beginning to play on his lips. "If you don't want to hurt your eyes when I unravel my wings, I suggest you close them".
Wings. Right, just focus on the wings and nothing else. You thought to yourself as you heard but now didn't see him shuffle this time around. Then it became quiet, but it wasn't the silence that suddenly dawned that threw you of, but the light.
Despite your eyes being closed, you raised a hand to cover them when a blinding white beam burned your eyelids. It suddenly felt like the room became warmer, though not an uncomfortable heat. Nevertheless, before you could distinguish what the added temperatures actually felt like, they were gone. Even the light faded. Still, you didn't dare open your eyes, not knowing whether you should if your angel friend hadn't said anything.
But no second light show seemed to take place, concerning the go-ahead you waited for came not soon after.
"You can open them now", you trusted Cas's soft voice and carefully opened your eyes. One last time you repeated the 'don't look at anything but his wings' mantra. But it wasn't hard to accomplish once you saw them.
A gasp escaped you when your eyes settled upon them, almost greedily observing them in. You don't know if you were surprised by their colour or not, but seeing how your first thought when imagining angel wings were 'white', most probably from how books portrayed them, you were surprised when seeing they were black. However, it wasn't an unpleasant surprise. Seeing how they shone in all different kinds of colours, almost as if someone had dipped them in oil and depending on where the light hit, a different hue rippled over them.
"Cas...". Astonishment made you unable to finish the sentence, as you kept watching how his wings moved with every shift he did. It wasn't until you noticed how they began folding behind his back, you met his gaze. "Please don't, they're breathtaking", when you said it, he stopped the movement.
Unsure if he would back away, you tried taking a step closer to test the waters. But once you noticed he didn't distance himself from you, you slowly walked up to him.
Up close, his wings nearly towered over you. Even so, you didn't feel intimidated, only in awe.
"Can I touch them?" It sounded like a plea, but witnessing the marvellous things his wings was you couldn't muster your voice any higher.
"Yes", you didn't need any further affirmation, as you believed he would have said something more if so was the case.
As you reached out, your eyebrows raised the moment your fingers brushed his wings. They were soft, much softer than you would've thought. Still, they weren't delicate. You could feel the giant cord of muscle tensing beneath the feathers and down. And upon feeling how his wings trembled somewhat as he held them up, you remembered you weren't here to simply view his wings.
Quelling your urge to delve your hand farther into the feathers, you retracted your hands, even took a step back to not give in to the temptation.
"Why do they hurt?" Albeit seeing the struggle, now not only in his body but wings as well, you couldn't spot anything that seemed out of order when looking at them. Hence the question.
"After the last hunt, they got damaged, but I was only able to tend to the inside", you nodded, eyes flickering to the joint where his appendages bent and which made them tilt slightly forwards, almost as if you would see the backside. As you did this, you didn't notice how Cas studied you. "You don't need to do this".
Your gaze fell to meet his, noticing the worry swimming in them. "Neither can I watch you be in pain, so tell me what I should do?" A relieved look spread on his face and you held his gaze while he backed towards his bed. Not until he climbed up and sat with his back to you did he advert it. But even if your eye contact had been broken. You saw the pain in his face as he unfolded his wings.
"You need to correct the stray ones while everything that looks abnormal needs to be discarded", upon his voice, you moved to stand directly behind him. That was when you understood why he was in so much pain. His wings touched both sides of the room and in-between the span, you saw crooked feathers, even broken ones.
Albeit your hands raised to correct one, you hesitated. "Cas, I'm afraid to hurt you", at his chuckle, your eyes flittered to the back of his head.
"You won't", and that was what made you begin.
But even if you started to fiddle with the feathers, you were unsure what you really were doing. Although when you found a large crooked one and corrected it, you heard a sigh escape the angel. You perked up at the sound, knowing that you'd done something right.
To not lose yourself and simply stand there and touch his wings without offering him the help you had, you moved to the edge of his left side wing. You found that if you almost petted the outermost layer of his wings, you could find those awry ones not visible to the eye. There weren't many, however, so swiftly you moved downwards.
"The big ones are called primaries", Cas's voice startled you while you'd bent down to correct one of those big feathers. However, as you realised he wanted to explain the anatomy of his wings, you couldn't help but smile.
And that was how it started. While you worked your way closer to the roots, he described every part you were working with. Alulas, primary coverts, primaries, marginal coverts, secondary coverts, secondaries.
You'd decided to come back to the area at his shoulder blades later, as they neither needed as much maintenance nor would take as much time, so now you worked with his right wing.
Seeing how he already had told you what the feathers were named. This time around, Cas sat in silence, seemingly enjoying your touch by how his wings not simply hung in the air but started to push against your hands.
Thanks to the silence, you now also heard the nearly unnoticeable sounds Cas made when you carded your fingers through his wings. You enjoyed not only hearing his pained grunts disappear but also that the otherwise reserved angel relaxed enough for those relieved noises to escape him.
Knowing what you looked for this time, the process went faster. Swiftly you once again stood behind Cas's back. You watched the smaller feathers, which slowly turned to down, feeling a smile creep on your lips. Looking more fragile, you petted them instead of combing through them. But as soon as your hand touched them, Cas took a sharp intake of breath.
"Tertiaries", he breathed out slowly and you couldn't but swallow hard at his voice. It had become... lower, but you simply presumed it was because he was more relaxed and in less pain.
Continuing to move them gently, you couldn't stop your fingers from roaming from the small feathers to the down closest to where they connected to his shoulder blades. Savouring the soft sensation under your fingers, you gave away to the urge you earlier had, sinking your fingers into the feathers. Though the action made a whimper escape Cas, something you raised an eyebrow to.
"Scapulars", his voice sounded even more strained now and he squirmed in his seat as you continued. However, it was not of the uncomfortable sort, at least not when comparing it to his earlier writhing in pain.
You hadn't noticed how your eyes trailed from watching your hand embedded in his wing to his muscular shoulders and back. Although you soon would. Concerning you hadn't paid attention to what you were doing.
By accident, you'd angled your fingers downwards, so it was more your nails that scraped along the base of his wings rather than the pad of your fingers. Before you registered what sound had left Cas, you thought you'd hurt him. Thus, your hands left him. However, when you replayed his reaction in your mind, you realised that injuring him had been the thing the furthest away from what you'd done to him. Thus it hadn't been a yelp or anything like that which had left him. The angel had moaned.
You felt your body heat up at the realisation, only then noticing that his wings also seemed as if they'd become warmer. Not only that, they did something you hadn't witnessed until now. They ruffled, almost as if to make them seem bigger while they thrust themselves against your palms hanging in the air.
You swallowed, feeling how that heat in your body didn't ease up. The number of times that Cas unknowingly had made your body feel like it was on fire were almost embarrassingly many to name. You'd never acted at the feeling which had grown into something more than just being attracted to him. However, you felt that now when Cas hadn't said anything about what had happened, or he currently was doing, it was now or never situation.
Fuck it, you thought. It wasn't as if you could interpret this all wrong and possibly made things awkward with your angel friend. Your confidence faltered for a second upon debating if it was worth it or not. But, it seemed your body had already decided for you, concerning how your hands embedded themselves even further into his wings.
Starting to trail a similar pattern on each side, you slowly worked your way through his wings and down towards their base. You felt your lips quirk upwards when noticing goosebumps spread on his skin.
Seeing him react like this, arching into your touch, goosebumps covering him as shivers seemingly straightened his spine, all while soft sighs left constantly, you couldn't stop yourself when you leaned forwards.
"Feeling better, Castiel?" You were almost thankful your concentrated on how breathy your voice had sounded and not on what your next, rather daring move would be.
Thankfully, Cas played right into your hand as he, directly before he answered, took a deep breath.
"Yes!" The very same second the first lullaby had formed on his lips, you'd slipped your fingers deeper and let your nails scratch against the skin on the base of his wings. His answer became a prolonged moan, the sound going straight throughout your whole body like a shiver. By now, you didn't know who was more affected, you or him, as short breaths puffed from him while you held your breath.
He sat still for a moment, but when he began turning around, you took a step back, suddenly very unsure of the situation you created. Although the sight that met you was something causing you to bite your lip.
Sweat lingered on his forehead, making it shiny, his lips red from chewing on them and his pupils were blown wide. Deep breaths seemed to be the only thing controlling him as he stared at you.
"Y/N...". Your name coming from his lip like a prayer made your lips part but with no intention of saying anything. "Please", Cas sounded desperate, so when he extended his hand for you to take, you couldn't resist.
He tugged you closer, prompting you to stand in between his legs. You swallowed upon having the angel stare up at you as he did, though your sensations didn't stop there. When he let go of your hand and placed both of his hands on either side of your hip. A shiver travelled down your spine from feeling the near scorching temperature.
"I need you to know", his gravelly voice made the hair on your arms stand. "This is something significant for angels...". He turned his head away and even at this moment, you noticed a blush spreading over his cheeks once again. You were unable to not tilt your head as a smile spread on your lips.
Thus, you hooked a finger under his chin, moving it, so he looked up at you once more. "I'm listening", Cas blinked one time before continuing.
"We usually don't let someone touch our wings, u-unless we want to take them as mates". You'd never heard him like this before, voice so shaky and breaths so deep.
It went up for you why he'd reacted as he did earlier. Why he'd been so surprised when you asked to help, his stunned expression when you mentioned you would've liked him to ask you in the first place and all the times he made sure this was ok. By the gods, you had practically asked an angel of the lord to be your mate without even knowing it.
"I understand if you regret it now...". Cas trailed off, but you couldn't but cradled the hair on the base of his neck, twirling a few strands as you answered him.
"I don't regret anything", you started to ghost your fingers down his neck, your goal set as you kept gazing at him. "Otherwise, I wouldn't do this". You silently thanked him for curling his wings closer, seeing how you now could let letting your hands move to their centre, feathers parting as they dragged your fingers down. A long and low groan resonated from his chest as he closed his eyes and let his head fall forwards, pressing it against your stomach. As the sounds faded together with your movements, you heard him choking out incoherent syllables of Enochian.
You believed your legs finally gave out when the angel looked up at you, but before you could fall to the floor, Cas pulled you close to him. Though it didn't stop there. Instead of now looking down at the angel, you looked up at him whilst feeling a softness under you.
Somehow he'd placed you further up on the bed while changing positions.
Laying under the angel, who held himself slightly above you, you for the first time didn't only admire his wings, but him as well. Your eyes dragged down his chest, closely followed by your hand. A groan left him, a sound you desired to hear again. So you let your nails mark his skin the further you went.
From one second to another, whatever restrains Cas had on himself disappeared as he rolled his hips against you. It elicited a gasp from you upon feeling the not so hidden bulge. For the first time, you saw a cocky smile spread on his lips as he leaned closer, curling his wings around you.
You couldn't but close your eyes at the sensation, his feathers feeling like silk caressing your bare arms. It made you squirm around, whimpers escaping until his hand found your cheek and made you still.
"It's time I repay the favour".