Stop Teasing Brian, Paul!
YOU: Why do you do that to Brian, Paul, you're so mean!
PAUL: I'm not doing anything love, what are you talking about.
YOU: I mean you're all sprawled out like that, with your legs, and with those thighs and all... and you're wrapping those plummy soft lips around an apricot, and don't tell me you don't know what that does to people because you know what it does to me, so... I'm sure it does it to others, too. Don't be such a tricky little bastard, Paul. It’s mean.
PAUL: Did you just call me a mean bastard? I'm never mean!
YOU: Sitting there like that, with your lap and your... tie. What were you planning on doing with that tie, anyway?
PAUL: It's my favorite tie, love. Wouldn't do anything with it. Might ruin it.
YOU: And see how Brian is looking at you, like he totally knows what you're doing. He totally knows you’re trying to play with him, probably to get something you want out of him.
PAUL: I'm not DOING anything! And yeah, just look at Brian. He’s havin’ a laugh, that all. And so am I! I’m not doing anything!
YOU: I've told you before, you don't HAVE to DO anything. You just have to BE! ... I hate you so much.
PAUL: No, baby, you really don’t mean that.
YOU: Yes I do. I really hate you. And your stupid tie. And your...your lap and all. Stupid lap.
PAUL: Would you like to come sit on it right now, and tell me all about it? Hmm?
YOU: ... Okay...
YOU: ...
YOU: ... Stupid lap.
PAUL: Yeah, tell me how much you don’t like me, now...
YOU: ... Stupid you.
PAUL: Can’t be too stupid, love, if I’ve managed to get you on my lap now, aye?
YOU: ...
YOU: ... Stupid, stupid me....