@cassbrookes; farmhouse
Two weeks had passed since Alex’s eventful arrival to Redwood. Things had calmed down once again for the most part. For him, at least. There was no telling what Cass was up to. She had managed to not get into any trouble while they were at the ranch during that first year of the outbreak, but it had just been them and their parents and Nate. Not much she could do with that. There were people in Redwood, and he was certain that Cass would be able to work her magic with them as she would any other group before the virus.
As for Alex, well... it was lonely in Redwood. And he missed Iris. More than he thought he would. Obviously he was happy to have Cass back, and he had talked to a few people during his time so far. It was hard being in a new place with all new people. He didn’t want to miss Iris. Iris had been a godsave during a time when he needed it most, but he couldn’t stay there. He never should’ve stayed long term. It meant that he had gotten too close and now it hurt knowing he would never see any of the people he loved ever again.
Alex had thought he and Cass would spend hours and hours talking and catching up once he was settled in, but the two siblings had stayed relatively silent. Neither of them knew much about what had happened to the other while they were apart. Most of their conversations had been about the here-and-now. Alex knew most of it was his own fault - he had been distant as he acclimated to Redwood, and his relationship with Cass had suffered because of it. As much as he wanted their relationship to be fixed and go back to where it had been before Nate’s death and his kidnapping, there was a divide between them whether he liked it or not.
Part of it was the feeling that he had betrayed Cass in Iris. He had convinced himself that his life was now only worth living for others, yet he had found himself happy in Iris. Happy without her. Not happy because she wasn’t there, of course, but the fact that he could be happy without her.... There was a lot he never planned on telling her, which sucked. He didn’t like feeling like he was keeping secrets. But he didn’t want to start an argument and have her try to convince him otherwise with some of his current thinking. She would be upset that he felt he was living for her (and now Renee and the boys), not for himself. She would say that there was still hope, that he would find happiness, that things would work out in the end. At this point, he didn’t care if it was true. He didn’t want to hear it. He had been happy in Iris, and he had given it up to find her.
Cass would feel responsible if she ever found that out, like she had been the reason he had given up his life in Iris. And, to be fair, she was the reason, but it had been his choice. Cass hadn’t forced him to leave. How could he get her to understand that it hadn’t been a choice? Yes, he had been happy in Iris, but... he couldn’t explain it. Iris had given him a reason to live, but Cass was his reason to survive. And if the virus had taught him anything about humanity, it was that survival came before anything else. Every time.
Alex swallowed and forced his head up from the bed. Alone, as he probably always would be in Redwood. He turned to put his feet onto the floor and drink a few sips from the water bottle he kept on his new bedside table. Another nightmare, thought not as bad as it could’ve been. He couldn’t remember what had happened, but the anxiety in the pit of his stomach remained. He got up from his bed and padded into the living room of the farmhouse. Cass sat in the recliner. “Morning,” he greeted. “Sleep okay?”
