Can you do something angsty with Cassandra where she and the reader are dating and instead of 10k killing her its the reader, if not have a good day!!
The cut that always bleeds
(cassandra x fem!reader)
sorry it took me so long - i started a new job!! but i had sooo much fun writing this! plz send more requests!
⌞ɪɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ... the two apocalyptic lovers discover the real consequences of murphy's bite, and it's not pretty⌝
(y/n) could recall how heavy her heart had gotten as she carried her dying girlfriend in her arms.
Ten Thousand offered to take a turn carrying her, which she had strongly refused.
"No," she had practically snarled in the poor boy's face. "she's mine, I'd carry her all the way to California if I had to."
He'd backed off after that, understanding her protectiveness over the woman in her arms, whose skin was clammy to the touch.
The infection had long since set in, and had only gotten worse. And it was all her damn fault.
"(y/n)," Cassandra's dry rasp of a voice reached her eyes, and she opened up her large brown eyes to stare up at her.
"I'm here, Cassie," she cooed, pressing a tender kiss to her hair.
(y/n) blinked harshly, trying to keep the burning in her eyes at bay. She wouldn't - couldn't - cry now. Not after she had been so strong for the others this whole time. And especially not now, when her girlfriend needed her to be strong.
She was too afraid to see what would happen if she gave up now.
So, she stubbornly refused to give up.
Even when Cassandra begged for her to just leave her - to give up on her - she had held firmly onto that hope that everything would be alright.
That they would be alright.
They had to be, right? After all, it had been her and Cass against the world for so long, she wasn't sure how to handle this world without her.
Even as she kissed her girlfriend goodbye and whispered promises to return as soon as possible in her ear, she held on hope. Hope that she would miraculously heal enough to make the trip with them.
Now, sitting with Addy, Doc, and 10K, trying to formulate a plan, that hope was one wrong look away from fizzling out. All these months of trying to wrangle Murphy back towards California, (y/n) had foolishly clung to any strand of hope that she could.
Deep down, she knew that her lover was already lost. Those dark eyes, once so full of love and light, were nothing but deadened and lifeless as they stared at her now.
"She's not Cassandra," 10K said grimly, staring at the dark-haired woman crouched defensively nearby, watching their every move. "Not anymore."
"What does that mean,' Addy asked him, glancing at (y/n) for support. But the girl was busy staring at the ground in front of her boots, heart burning in her chest.
"I don't know, man," Doc sighed, rubbing his white beard as he surveyed the woman. "She is getting weirder. And you've seen how strong she is."
"She wouldn't hurt us," Addy defended weakly. "not really."
(y/n)'s expression was distant. "I wouldn't be so sure."
"Seriously? You truly believe that? After everything you two have-"
(y/n)'s eyes flashed up to her friend's, a dangerous warning. "That thing, is not my girl. Not anymore. Murphy made sure of that."
Doc placed a tentative hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off. The anger beneath her skin seemed scald her, anger directed at the man whose actions had led her lose the one precious thing she had left in this world.
"Now!" Addy's command sent the four of them flying into motion. They each fled a different direction, hoping that at least a few of them would be able to escape through the forest.
As she ran, arms pumping by her sides, (y/n) couldn't help but be reminded of a different time she'd ran like this.
"Cassandra!" She shouted, feet tearing their way through the deserted streets of Philadelphia. At least, she thought they were deserted, until she caught a glimpse of the men pursuing the newest member of their group.
She pushed herself to run faster, her eyes falling on the waves of shiny black hair shaking with the woman's movement as she fled. Her lungs might have burned, but the fear in her chest burned brighter.
"Sunshine," one of them called out, the creepy singsong tone of his voice sending shudders through her.
(y/n) passed the entrance to an alleyway which veered off the main road. Grimacing, she sprinted between the buildings and caught Cassandra around the waist as the woman came barreling around a corner.
Before she could scream, the girl yanked her towards a nearby building, a hand clasped around her mouth. Her body pushed them both against the wall to tuck them safely in the shadows.
They held their breath as the men ran right past them.
(y/n) exhaled shakily. "Sorry I scared you," she said quietly after checking that they were gone. "What the hell was that?"
The woman nibbled her lip, looking around anxiously. "You can't judge me."
Addy's bloodcurdling scream seemed to echo between the bark of the trees. (y/n) stopped in her tracks, breathing heavily.
Without sparing much time to think about what she was doing, the girl turned back the same direction she'd came from quickly. Pine needles scattered beneath her feet as she changed direction and scrambled back to Addy.
Her screams grew closer, and soon enough Doc and 10K were by her side.
"Is that Addy?" Doc asked, looking anxiously ahead. (y/n) nodded as they jogged back to the clearing together.
"Cass," she bellowed, catching the brunette's attention "Leave her alone!"
The dark-haired woman glanced up at her, her dark eyes almost otherworldly. Her irises seemed colder, and almost looked like they were swirling.
She had her former friend pinned down beneath her, face pressed against the ground. Her arm was twisted at an odd angle behind her back as she begged Cassandra to stop.
Doc and 10K helped get Addy away, as (y/n) stood between them and Cassandra. The woman she had fallen for might be gone, but she was hoping that something - hell, maybe muscle memory - would kick in to keep her from being harmed.
She'd realize later how wrong she was.
"Nobody leaves," God, even her voice felt different. You could always tell how Cass was feeling by the sound of her voice, but right now all (y/n) knew was that she would kill Murphy for what he had taken from her.
Addy was crying in Doc's arms, her hand cradled to her chest. (y/n) received Cassandra's glare, acting as a buffer. If she did anything to harm anyone else, at least she would be there to stop it.
"I told you," (y/n) said as they retreated back to their camp, defeated. "it's not her. She's not our friend anymore." Doc sighed heavily before helping Addy with her injured shoulder. All the while, Cassandra crouched low to the ground across the clearing, eyes locked on (y/n).
Who had to keep reminding her that this was not the loving, protective, brave, woman she once knew. She exhaled and pressed her palms to her eyes, willing her head and heart to stop fighting.
Cassandra's lips had been pulled back into a vicious snarl, so unlike her usual smile that she wore around (y/n).
As the others nervously watched Addy, the girl kept Murphy's little pet in her sights. He'd left not that long ago, and had told her to make sure that no-one leaves.
Having made her decision, the girl stood up and took a deep breath to steel herself - locking her heartache into a box where it couldn't hurt her anymore.
Doc, Addy, and 10K all stared at her, jaws agape. (y/n) paid them no attention, instead striding across the leaf-littered ground towards the figure across the clearing.
Slowly, she approached the woman who had once let her hold her on dark, cold nights. Who had done the same for her, when the apocalypse became too much for either of them to bear.
Despite all its horrors, she was grateful that the apocalypse had drawn them together.
Even if it ended like this.
The sharpshooter spoke gently, as if she was trying not to spook an animal. Or, you know, whatever had taken over her girlfriend's body.
"Cassandra, we need to talk."
Her focus was still mostly on the others behind (y/n), although her gaze occasionally flickered to her face and then back again.
"You really hurt Addy, Cass."
"Cassandra, listen," she slowly raised a hand to delicately tuck a dark wave behind her ear. Immediately her eyes darted to her and stayed there, her shoulders tense.
"We need to find Murphy. We want to help him, but we need to find him first."
(y/n) held her breath as Cassandra stared at her, considering. Then, she replied in a low rasp.
The tiny flame of hope that flickered in (y/n)'s chest was snuffed out, and her face fell. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder at the others, adrenaline already rising as she mentally prepared for what was to come.
At the sight of her signal, the rest of her family tore off towards the forest, running as if their lives depended on it. Which, technically, it did.
Cassandra leapt to her feet and the girl stomped down her guilt as she wrapped her arms around her waist from behind, slowing her down as best she could.
(y/n) held her breath, containing the giggle that was ready to be let out. If she did, Cassandra would surely hear her.
The dark-haired woman was unaware of her presence as (y/n) crept forward, before wrapping her arms around her to hug her from behind.
Cassandra let out a squeal before laughing, feeling her girlfriend's arms around her.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!"
(y/n) pressed a kiss to Cassandra's smiling cheek as her hand reached behind to cup (y/n)'s neck so she could bring their mouths together.
Her girlfriend growled as (y/n) hands reached to try to lock around her chest. Nails raked down her forearm and she hissed in pain before an elbow to her ribcage sent her stumbling back.
Cassandra paused, looking at her for a moment before turning towards where the others had disappeared to. The cry of rage that she let out was horrific, icy fear spreading through (y/n)'s body.
Nothing could have prepared her for the way that the woman launched herself at (y/n), fueled by anger and blinded by Murphy.
(y/n) took a few running steps towards her as well, meeting her in the middle. At the last second she ducked under Cassandra's arm, narrowly avoiding getting clawed.
As the other woman stumbled forward, (y/n) pivoted, pushing her so she stood between her attacker and the people she wanted to protect.
She couldn't let Cassandra catch any of them, no matter the cost.
She wouldn't lose anyone else to the monster that Murphy created, even if it killed a piece of her to admit that.
(y/n) drew unsteady breaths as Cassandra seethed. Between one second and the next she launched herself at the younger woman. (y/n) flailed as Cassandra butted her forehead against her face, crying out.
Blood trickled a warm path down the side of her face from the impact, stars dazzling her vision as she tried to gain her bearings.
"Do you think we'll make it?"
(y/n) blinked at Cassandra's question before glancing over at her. Their legs dangled off the edge of the truck as they sun set. It's golden light brought the colors of Cassie's eyes to life, shifting from deep browns to lighter amber.
"Honestly? I have no idea," (y/n) sighed, giving her girlfriend's hand a quick squeeze. "but I hope so."
Cassandra's grin was dazzling as she leaned her head on her shoulder.
"If we don't, I'm still glad I met you."
Despite the dizziness from Cassandra's attack, (y/n) managed to hook her foot around her ankle, sending Cassandra sprawling into the dirt.
The girl panted, wiping blood from her nose as Cassandra jumped back onto her feet.
"Cass, we don't have to do this," (y/n) practically begged, as if saying her name would bring her back.
"I love the way you say my name," Cassandra murmured softly into the crook of (y/n)'s neck, marked by her lips.
(y/n) inhaled shakily, gripping her girlfriend's hips. "H-how do I say it?" Her cheeks were warm.
"Like it's special," she bit her lip, large eyes gazing at (y/n). "Precious."
(y/n) gently grasped her chin, pulling their faces closer together.
"You are precious to me, Cassandra."
"Nobody leaves," she repeated again, those two words apparently her only vocabulary. (y/n) would kill just to hear her own name fall from her lips again, murmured like a prayer.
But all that remained was Murphy's command - nothing to show of how much they had meant to one another.
(y/n) groaned as her back hit the large stone, Cassandra used her inhuman strength to send her flying through the air. Gingerly, she sat up. For the second time that day, the world seemed fuzzy.
She wheezed from the force of the impact, rising unsteadily to her feet. Everything ached, but the physical hurt was nothing compared to the anger building inside of her.
The sharpshooter took a few unsteady steps forwards, her gaze finally landing on Cassandra's feral expression. She hesitated briefly before turning and run, fear burning her lungs with every breath.
Not that she was afraid of her her former girlfriend, but rather of what she might be forced to do.
Cassandra's full weight pinned knocked the breath from her lungs as she hit the dirt, their bodies crashing together. The woman's knees were on either side of her torso, her arms pinned beneath them.
There was nothing she could do as the woman grabbed her face and lifted her head before slamming it into the dirt. (y/n) coughed, the material making its way into her mouth and eyes.
The girl cried out in pain - her first during the entire altercation. But Cassandra didn't hesitate.
(y/n)'s hand reached out and locked around her ankle, keeping the woman from running off. The leg she didn't have in her grip swung towards her face, the impact sending a shock down her spine.
The taste of blood flooded her mouth as she grappled with her violent opponent. Panting, she was able to pin her with her body, keeping her from fleeing any further.
The woman screeched and flipped them over so (y/n) was beneath her, her eyes wild.
"Here," Cassandra motioned for her to cover her eyes. (y/n) obeyed quickly, mouth quirked up.
The sound of her lover's laugh was all the confirmation she needed - she had been up to something after all.
"I found this and thought you should have it."
Her fingers were gently lowered from her eyes by Cassie's hand, revealing a polished dagger held in her outstretched palm.
(y/n) raised an eyebrow playfully. "Cass, you don't even know what month it is-"
She quieted her with a stern, but playful, glare. "Just take the gift, (y/n)."
"Whatever you say, gorgeous."
A sound escaped the woman, a frustrated snarl. As if she was upset that (y/n) had survived this far into their fight.
One of Cassandra's hands gripped her jaw, the other the back of her head. She began to apply pressure, sending pain jolting through the girl's body.
She was trying to break her fucking neck.
Sheer panic forced her hand to reach blindly down towards her boot, to the knife hidden there.
"I don't want to die," her companion whimpered softly in the darkness.
(y/n) wove her arms around Cassandra as best she could in the enclosed space. "You aren't going to die. I've got you. I promise."
Her fingers closed against the hilt of the blade, her eyes scrunched shut so she wouldn't have to watch what she was about to do.
That morning, she was woken up with a kiss, which she accepted greedily. "When we get out of this, we're going to start over."
"We are?" Cassandra gave her a rueful smile. (y/n) nodded, grinning.
"We're going to start over - together. Find somewhere quiet and live out the rest of our lives. Maybe get a cat."
"That sounds amazing. And definitely a cat."
Her hand shook as she tightened her grip around the blade.
"You love me, don't you?"
"Of course I love you, Cass. How could I not?"
Cassandra snarled above her as (y/n) drove her birthday gift into the side of her neck.
The pressure on her neck instantly disappeared as Cassandra's movements halted. (y/n) opened her horrified eyes to stare up into Cassandra's slack face.
Warm, hot blood dripped from her mouth onto the side of her cheek. That wasn't the only stain on (y/n), however. Her heart, too, would always carry the burden of what she had done.
Scarcely breathing, (y/n) pulled the blade from her neck with a sickening squelch. More blood ran down the wound, covering the ground around them.
Their eyes met for a second before her girlfriend drew her last breath with a gentle shudder. At the last second before the body slumped forwards, her warm eyes seemed to return to normal.
To the Cass (y/n) had loved, not the Cassandra that Murphy had used.
Delicately, (y/n) rolled the corpse off of her and sat up on her knees. Numbness spread from her fingers to the very crown of her head, as the weight of what she had done came crashing down.
Cassandra hadn't been the same since Murphy had left that mark on her cheek, but now she was dead.
And it was all (y/n)'s fault.
There was nothing she could do but stare down at her lifeless body beneath her, wishing it were her lying dead on the ground instead.
"I'm sorry," she managed through a burning throat before silent tears tracked down her face. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."
She squeezed her eyes shut, bowing her head. Briefly, she wondered how she ended up here. If Cassandra had never met her, then she would still be alive.
That thought haunted her as she picked up a shovel and started digging.
Her numbness had faded to a fiery anger, resentment towards Murphy giving her the energy to bury her dead lover.
Gently, she scooped the last bit of dirt to cover her scarred face until the Earth protected her corpse.
She could not protect Cassandra in life, but she would be damned if she wouldn't protect her in death.
The smell of freshly-turned earth kept her company as she stared down at the grave. The blood on her face had gone tacky, but was still there as evidence of what she'd been forced to do.
Not long after, the others joined her again - Warren and Vasquez with them once more.
"What's that?" Doc asked her, staring down at the ground.
Bile rose in her throat, eyes burning. "Cassandra."
"Oh my god," Addy fell to her knees beside the grave.
"What happened?" Warren asked, voice rising with worry.
"I did what I had to do," (y/n) stated honestly, wanting nothing more than to lie down beside Cassie's grave and never leave.
But that was bullshit, and (y/n) knew it. She could have easily let Cassandra kill her then and there, but that would have meant putting the others in danger.
At the end of the day, she had chosen to kill instead of be killed. And, worse, kill someone she had loved - even if she hadn't been the same person she had fallen in love with.
She could only hope that Cassandra - wherever she had had ended up - would forgive her.
Hopefully, she'd reunite with her one day and she could beg for her forgiveness.
But until then, she would figure out how to make Murphy pay for what he had done, even if it meant killing again.
When she opened her eyes, she knew she was dead.
Through the back doors of the van, (y/n) could see the beach and the bright blue of the ocean lapping at its shore. The bed was warm, the sheets soft against her skin.
When was the last time she had slept in a bed?
As she stirred, the bed dipped slightly as a mass of fur settled itself on her chest. The cat purred happily, blinking its dazzling green eyes at her.
At first, it felt like waking up from a deep sleep. She was a little disoriented, but as soon as she saw that familiar face, she knew she no longer had to worry about the apocalypse.
Cassandra looked the exact same as she had the day she'd told her she loved her.
The same dark, silky hair that fell in waves past her shoulders. Unable to resist, (y/n) tucked a strand beside the woman's ear. She felt warm to the touch, not cold as death like the last time she had ever seen her.
The woman chuckled. "I've missed you." (y/n)'s vision went blurry as tears flooded her eyes. Immediately Cassandra was wiping them away and pulling her close to her.
"Hey, hey, hey, why are you crying?"
She couldn't speak - couldn't think. All this time, she had sworn to herself that when she met Cassandra in the afterlife, she would apologize.
She would fall to her knees before her and beg for forgiveness, eventually. But right now, all she was capable of doing was burying her face in her hair and hugging her tightly.
This seemed to upset the cat, who mewled loudly. Cass burst out laughing and sat up to scratch behind its ears.
(y/n) sat up, still unable to believe her eyes. Her heart seemed to beat harder, full of more love than it had been when she was living after she killed Cassandra.
Her lover paused, her lips pulling down into a frown. "That was not your fault."
"It was me who stabbed you, I-"
She was cut off by a kiss, which she gratefully accepted. Her hands pulled the woman closer by her shoulders, not willing to let go of the moment just yet.
She intertwined their fingers, thumb gently brushing along her knuckles.
She was quickly interrupted.
"Cass, I'm sorry," her voice broke as the weight of everything she had done came crashing down on her heart, a weight in her chest. "I am so, so sorry I couldn't keep you safe. That I let him turn you into one of those things."
"And I'm sorry that I killed you. Please, please, you have to understand: it destroyed me. I should have never grabbed that knife, I should have let you kill me."
She paused at Cassandra's amused look, her mouth angle upwards into a small smile. "What?"
"Nothing," she shook her head fondly. "You haven't changed a bit."
(y/n) pursed her lips to keep them from quivering, saying nothing.
"As I was saying," The brunette gave her a pointed look. "I forgive you. If you had let me hurt anyone else under Murphy's control, I might have hated you a little bit."
She raised a hand. "My turn." (y/n) nodded, immediately shutting her mouth. She owed Cassandra that much.
"When Murphy bit me," Cassandra continued, staring out at the ocean beyond. "I was still in there. But it was like watching a movie - I couldn't do anything. I know you didn't want to kill me, (y/n). But I'm glad you did."
(y/n) pressed two fingers to her temples, massaging in gentle circles. "You're... happy I killed you?"
She shook her head. "No, that sucked. You know how long I waited in this van for you?"
(y/n) laughed tearfully, Cassandra gently reaching to wipe the wetness from her eyes.
"You really waited for me? This whole time?"
"Of course I did. I love you."
"I love you too," the girl professed, kissing her forehead. She paused, taking a moment to look around. "Where are we, anyway?"
Cassandra cocked her head, looking out the window. "I have no idea, actually."
(y/n) grinned and scooted out of the bed, letting her feet hit the sand. She held out her hand to Cassandra, who knelt in their bed.
"I like the sound of that."
She gripped her lover's hand tightly as they walked down the warm sand, sunlight casting everything in a dazzling glow.
It was then that she realized this was heaven: a beautiful beach, a van with a cat, and - most important of all - the woman who loved her even in death.
