#cassidy carmichael

[orendapoints]

Paragraph Scene Report

Dominant’s Name: Jared Philips

Submissive’s Name: Cassidy Carmichael

Acts Performed: Foreplay (10), aftercare (20), Anal penetration (30), Edging (10)

Points Earned: 70

Scene Link: link

Excellent, Mr. Carmichael. You and Mr. Philips will be tallied up 70 points each.

[orendapoints]

Summary Scene Report

Dominant’s Name: Emory Light

Submissive’s Name: Cassidy Carmichael

Acts Performed:  Hand Contact - massage (5), Proper aftercare from a scene (20), Toys - needles (10), Sensory - electric shock (20), use of the BDSM room (30)

Points Earned: 85

Summary Link: [ X ]

Everything seems to be in order, here. You will be awarded 85 points, Mr. Carmichael.

[orendapoints]

PARAGRAPH SCENE REPORT

Dominant’s Name: Jared Philips

Submissive’s Name: Cassidy Carmichael

Acts Performed: foreplay (10), light fetish play (lingerie) (10), anal penetration (30), edging (10), aftercare (20), 

Points Earned: 80

Scene Link: For the Very First Time

A very well done report, Mr. Carmichael.  Yours and Mr. Philips’ ledgers will be adjusted 80 points a piece.

[orendastories]

Please Reply

Title: Please Reply

Author(s): AJ

Character(s) Involved: Cassidy Carmichael

Word Count: 383

Trigger Warning(s): None

Summary: Cassidy discusses sex with his parents like it’s nbd, and once again pleads for a reply he knows he won’t get.

Other: Meme Week 21’s response in the form of a letter home

Dear Mom and Dad,

I think maybe I wrote the address down wrong last time — even though I checked it three times, like always — because I think that even though I know you said you don’t want to hear from me, this is different, isn’t it? This is a letter. That was a letter. You’d write back to a letter, wouldn’t you?

I just really miss you both and I want to talk to you. Nobody knows more about being claimed and happy than the two of you, and I’m scared. I’m so scared. I thought things would be different here, that I’d finally be able to find someone who wants me, but the longer I’m here the more certain I am that I’m going to become a slave and then I’ll never see either of you again.

I’m on level two now. That sounds good doesn’t it? It doesn’t feel good. I didn’t earn any of them in the normal way. The normal way is sex. I don’t know if you know that, I didn’t when I arrived. Some people seemed bothered by that, but I wasn’t. Sex is confusing to me, but it seems intriguing, at least, and I want to be a good submissive so I’m trying..

I didn’t think it would be this hard. I didn’t know anything about sex, not really. So I’ve been researching kinks. It’s very interesting and very informative and there are quite a lot of them I think I’d really like (like being a kitty and wearing panties). And even though it’s really very hard sometimes, I’m trying to talk to people, and I’ve made some friends — which is much better than at the Academy, right?

But even though I’m trying, I’m on level two and I still don’t know what it feels like to be kissed. (I think probably a bit like cuddling, which Isabel showed me, but maybe even nicer.) You said that I’d be better, that I’d be normal once I had a Dominant, but I don’t think I can have a Dominant unless I’m normal… So I’m scared.

Please write me back. I’ll check the address nine times this time, just to be sure. I don’t want to never talk to you again.

I promise I’m trying.

All my love, Cassidy

[orendastories]

Cassidy Carmichael Meme Week 15

Take someone from your “top 4 fans list” (located on your activity page) and tell us about them from your POV. 

Word Count: 387

Oh, I’m not sure that I’m qualified to be writing about other people… But I suppose I can tell you what I think — I just can’t promise it’s accurate.

Isabel - Isabel is very sweet. I’m pleased that we’re friends now, and I’m glad she knows how to properly handle a book, because I think it might strain our friendship if I couldn’t let her look at my books — though she’s so kind she might not mind. I don’t think she completely understands everything I say, but she tries to and she doesn’t get upset with me when she doesn’t understand. She tries really hard to help me feel better, which nobody has done before. I think she’s sad about somthing, or maybe scared, I’m not sure which, but I wish I knew what it was so I could try to help fix it. I hope I can be as good a friend to her as she is to me, because she deserves it.

Luca - Luca isn’t like anyone I’ve met before. He’s very kind to me, but I don’t know if he’s very kind in general. He’s easy to talk to because he’s very straightforward and makes a lot of sense. I think he sees how much is wrong with me, more than most people do and that scares me a little, but he doesn’t seem to mind or really think there’s much /wrong/ at all. I think, maybe, it’s because he’s a little bit like me. What he said about being a monster, well, I don’t believe he is one, but I think maybe other people do and I know how that feels, when everybody thinks you’re broken. He isn’t though, not really, he’s just different and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

Kyt - No. I don’t want to talk about her.

Leo - Leo is just lovely. He’s very concerned with being kind and helping other people, but I’m worried about him because he doesn’t seem to be at all worried about his own happiness. Actually, he seems to have given up on it, which I don’t think is right. I’m sure, if he tries, he can feel better than just ‘fine’. I hope he gets passed whatever happened that’s made him scared to be happy, because someone as kind as he is deserve happiness.

[orendastories]

Chaos | July 28, after dinner

Title: Chaos

Author(s): AJ

Character(s) Involved: Cassidy Carmichael

Word Count: 501

Trigger Warning(s): Panic attack

Summary: Cassidy’s reaction to Kyt’s destruction of his space.

Cassidy hadn’t realized it was possible to be as happy to see his cot as he had been when he got back from the mainland. The time spent in unfamiliar surroundings with unfamiliar people had agitated him more than he cared to admit, but it was all made so much worse by the feeling of being alone. At Orenda he could stay safe and tucked away in his space and no one noticed or minded, but on the mainland he felt like he was wearing a sign advertising his differences and it scared him so thoroughly that he’d barely left his small, tidy corner of Orenda since returning to the Island.

After a full day back and pages of carefully copied notes from his favorite astronomy book, he’d finally calmed enough, and felt secure enough in his space to venture out for dinner. The crowds and usual frustrations of trying to find something he could eat proved too much and he felt compelled to hurry back to the sub room, intent on reaching his little sanctuary and calming himself with his astronomy books. The thought of reading about the impending meteor shower was enough to bring a small smile to his face, but it wasn’t nearly enough to calm his racing heart or still his shaking hands.

His arms wrapped tightly around himself, he kept his head down as he hurried through the sub room, his lips barely moving as he counted each step, lengthening his strides as necessary to make sure he ended up on exactly the right number when he finally stopped before his cot. He calmed slightly once he was there, it would be fine now, orderly and safe, but his breath left him in a rush when he looked up and saw the chaos that had taken over his sanctuary.

"No," he whispered, "No, no." He closed his eyes and opened them again, once, twice, three times, but nothing changed. He sanctuary, his safety, was destroyed and it was too much. It was being back at the Academy again. It was being lost and alone and friendless and scared and it was more, so much more, than he could handle. He took one halting half step forward — he could fix it, he could make it right again — before the panic took over and all thoughts of fixing it left his mind.

He knew it was coming, could feel it before it even really started, and he was determined no one would see him like that if he could help it. He managed a few halting steps before the tightness in his chest became too much and he fell to his knees on the far side of his cot, pressed into the corner and, he hoped, out sight. Almost silent wracking sobs shook him and he curled in on himself and tried to fight past the pressure in his chest to pull in enough breath to keep away the gray that was threatening to creep across his vision.

[orendastories]

This Doesn't Count as Talking

Title: This Doesn’t Count as Talking

Author(s): AJ

Character(s) Involved: Cassidy Carmichael

Word Count: 622

Trigger Warning(s): None

Summary: Cassidy muses on his designation the potential of life as a slave in a letter to his parents — that he knows they won’t read.

Other: Meme Week 14’s response in the form of a letter home

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know you don’t want to talk to me until I have a claim, but I wondered if perhaps you’d accept a letter, since this isn’t actually talking, and because I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to meet your requirements. I miss you both terribly, and I love you more than I can say. I hope you’ll read this, I promise I’m trying, I just haven’t quite figured out how.

The people are kinder here than they were at the academy. They talk to me — at least some of them do — and most of them don’t seem angry or frustrated with me when they realize that I don’t see things the same way they do. This ought to be encouraging in regards to being claimed, but being more involved with people has just made me realize how separate from them I am.

Sometimes I stare at my mark and wonder what it would look like with red circle covering it. I know what it would look like, of course, it’s just a red circle, but it would change everything around it. Little things change so much. Nobody else seems to understand that, that the tiniest things can change everything, can start a chain of events that can end in pain or disaster or chaos. Everyone walks around as though life is so easy, so simple, but it’s not. It’s messy and it’s dangerous, it would be so much simpler if everyone took care.

You’ve always said that slaves deserved to be enslaved, but I didn’t believe you because they were kinder to me than others and seemed to understand me better… but perhaps that just means that I’m the same as they are. That I ought to be a slave as well. That they, and I, are fundamentally damaged in some way and can’t exist withing the system. I don’t want that. I want to believe that you’re right, that I can find a claim and that it will make the world straighten out, but I’m scared. I’m scared that the years will pass and I’ll keep being what I’ve always been. That eventually I’ll end up with that red circle and then… I’ll have lost you forever, but also myself. How could I exist in a world where I have no control over my life or my environment? I can’t bear to think of it.

I wonder if I’d have these thoughts if I’d been marked a dominant. I think I would. If, as you say, the system is perfect, then it shouldn’t change anything. I’d still be designated as I’m meant to be, and I’d still feel like I’m drowning in chaos during every moment of every day. Would wanting to claim and lead and care for someone rather than be claimed and cared for change anything? I think not. In truth, I’m pleased with my designation. I don’t mind doing as I’m told when I trust and respect the person who’s giving the order, and I take great pleasure is helping others Surely those are useful traits for a submissive? I only wish I could bring myself to experience everything that being a submissive entails.

I hope you’ve read this, I hope you believe me. I promise I’ll keep trying and maybe I’ll meet someone else like me. Or at least someone who doesn’t mind the way I am. Or maybe even someone who understands what it’s like to feel so different and wants to be with someone else who understands. I have several years, I’ll find someone and then you’ll see. I can be a good submissive, an effective part of the system, just like you’ve always wanted.

All my love, Cassidy