#castercollab

[theprocast]

"The truth is, I was never able to breathe when we were together. Love is supposed to care for you and be there for you every step of the way but sometimes it's just too much and I needed to be on my own. I knew that if I brought this up, he would manage to convince me to stay, I was never able to tell him no, he got me under his spell. So I just left and took my first breath after ages. It felt good as first but also really lonely, so I started to rebuild my life, with someone new. It was a good and simple life, something I needed in a long time but fate or whatever you'd like to call it pushed me once again offshore and towards him. I took one look at him and my good and simple life seemed like a joke to my eyes, like it didn't belong to me. Because I was his and he was mine even though we pretended to be something else for all these years." "We never had a closure. I just woke up one day, she became so cold all of a sudden. And everything became so messed up. She didn't tell anything, but her departure says it all. I was caught off-guard because I have learned to live my life with her. It took me years to rebuild myself. I haven't picked my broken pieces because I know, it was all about her. I managed to step on it and inflict pain on myself in order to wake up. God knows how hard I tried to save myself and survive. I was lost that made me desperate enough to find a new light. I even burned bridges so I wouldn't look back and walk to my past again. Those were the miserable years of my life. I have managed to surpass the storm. But unfortunately, life didn't give a warning that storms could be back. I thought everything would remain calm. After all those years, she's sitting in front of me right now; I hate how universe give us the opportunity to bump into each other again. It's been five long years. I know everything changed, but as I look to her, it feels like I'm ready to risk and be fooled again."

How I Met My Lost Star by @giulswrites and @baekebyan

[theprocast]

"Happiness is such a pure and simple feeling that sometimes we get overwhelmed by it and we can't seem to be able to handle it properly. That's what happened to me, what happened to us. I can't even blame you because you were perfect from day one and perhaps, that's one of the things that scared me so much; how could someone as imperfect as me make happy someone who could do no wrong in my eyes? I know what you would say, that you weren't perfect, because if you were you would have figured out a way to make me stay. But that's another thing, I believed so much in you because no one ever believed in me. So I ran like I always do in these scenarios, but I didn't run from you. I run from me, from the person I was becoming. It was like I was holding a crystal vase and I had to put it down because it was so beautiful and I was afraid to break it. So I put the vase down and ran away, thinking that I couldn't possibly hurt the vase anymore. But I did hurt you, I did crack the vase and there's nothing I can do to make it up to you. I wanted our story to be a fairytale and I'm sorry it turned out to be a lesson." "Why do you stop talking to each other? It’s one of the questions in my life that I couldn’t answer. It’s one of those days where I feel I need to playback the last conversation we had together to save everything from falling. If I look back, all I could see is great memories. But apparently, we became trapped into silence then it slowly made her presence fade away.  I wasn’t even sure why she walked away. I could see doubts in her footprints, I could see fear in her eyes. I’m about to cleanse all these uncertainties inside, but she doesn’t give me a chance to get closer. I mean, I was sure of getting into her even if she already decided to live in a different city. Maybe, it’s one of those days, you will meet someone by an accident, hoped they would stay, but ended up as losing them together with yourself. Wait, do we really lose ourselves when we lose people in our lives? What if the lost inner soul we are searching could be found on the same exact person that we met by an accident? Would it still be the same old us or it would rekindle a better fire to warm the place all over again? We all love happy endings, but life is full of bullcrap happenings. It won’t always end with a kiss, sometimes it ends with what ifs."

a collaboration by @giulswrites and @baekebyan

[theprocast]

We were lost souls who needed comfort and outlet to escape reality. I was broken, so I decided to write the sadness that was within my soul. I never expected that it would be the reason why I will meet you. I was hesitated to talk to you because your written thoughts were intimidating. But, I was surprised because you talked to me first. It started to ignite the fire. That night, I never talked to anyone in so long. I don’t want to stop, but the next thing I knew, it was morning already. I didn’t notice the time when I talk to you. Time flew so fast, we were lost souls before, but now we found solace in each other’s presence. A day without you is like a day full of sadness and worrying. I am incomplete when I don’t hear your voice and read your writings. Before, my words are full of overwhelming distress, but it slowly turns into a happy and positive vibes. I’m slowly turning into a person that I never thought I would ever be. I don’t know what you do to me, but I’m loving it. Your virtual presence was enough to make me feel safe. Even if I haven’t met you yet, it feels like I am familiar with your naked face, the softness of your hands, the way you smile and look at me whenever I crack jokes. It feels like I am familiar with your tousled hair, your eyelashes and even the way you sway around. I haven’t met you yet, but it feels like I’m falling over and over again. I don’t believe in virtual love before, but you made me feel that it could be true and real.” “What’s in your words, really? A song? A collection of mere symbols? A revelation? Or perhaps a reflection of yourself? I wonder, do they mirror the color of your eyes, bright and stormy with those hyperboles and euphemisms? Do they echo the sound of your voice, silky and sonorous like your sonatas and odes? Do they picture your lips’ smiles and frowns? Do they give a hint of how your breath smells, or perhaps the scent of your sweat? Do they reveal the color of your skin, and the muscles of your arms? What is it in your words that makes my world sway to and fro, as if in a dance of tango playing from a song that will never reach the end? I wonder all these things as my femininity aches for the masculinity only you could offer and I smile at the juxtaposition playing in my head. I witness our nights turn to dawn from the seemingly-eternal phrases we send to each other, from miles away. And something inside me stirs, amidst the barriers already formed between us—the distance and the uncertainties—and I felt it stir from your words as well. A raging fire starts to burst inside the frozen wasteland that is my heart and it’s all in your words, your honeyed, silky words. I see everything turn from hello’s and hi’s to i love you’s and i miss you’s. It’s crazy, I know, and beyond impossible. But maybe if only I could see you, or hear your voice, or let my skin melt from the warmth of your touch, maybe—just maybe—anything would be as good as possible.

Virtual Love a collaboration by @baekebyan and @theidealistdilettante

[theprocast]

Chasing After You

“You, for me, are perfect in every sense The way your hair falls behind your back The way you smile shyly at everyone Every part of you is perfection to me

You are a piece of art An abstract of aesthetic and emotion But you are an art I’m not privileged to own As you stand beautifully in someone else’s gallery

Long have I chased and long have I waited For you to even notice a guy like me But here I am on the outskirts of your life Just an insignificant being you owe no time

I tried to forget a beauty such as thee But try as I might, it’s your name my heart beats Why can’t you be mine, my love, Divine, For you I’d die even a thousand lifetimes”

“The universe has been asking me to release him. I said, I won’t even if it hurts me a lot. My heart stopped beating his stupid name But I know, it won’t just stop there.

His memories are always with me, The feeling is still here, why would I say goodbye? I’m just dreaming, everything will be fine. He’s still here, even if he gave up already.

Don’t listen to my eyes, they might lie. I enjoy begging and hurting at the same time. There could never be another like him, in this life. Pieces were scattered everywhere, I’m lost inside.

If this was just a dream, I want to wake up. I’m not asking for betterment, I want him back. I don’t want to give up, but it feels like I have to. I’m afraid to live this life without you.”

— a collaboration by @hiraethofinnocence and @baekebyan

[theprocast]

Destiny’s Game

You told me only Fate can hurt us. We both loved each other, yet we believed we couldn't be together. We chose to walk away, live in separate ways, even though our hearts are bleeding and longing to be with each other. Despite all the pain, I concealed my feelings, even though I know you're the only one who can heal my wound. Destiny is cruel too, by letting people, falling in love with each other, yet being together isn't their ending. They are just playing and unconsciously hurting us.

A silence between us, soaring high and bloodletting in our prose and poetry - hoping fate will soon be in our favor, to have our second chance, to fill the havoc we left in each other by letting them win, instead of choosing what makes us happy. Another chance for our love, another try to make it right.

It seemed so impossible, to have met you in a time and place where we least expected it. Yet, it seems as though Destiny is playing its game again. We bumped into each other along the corner of the busiest street in the city, under the raging downpour, both soaking wet, looking for a place to take shelter. You let out your hand and somehow, my senses went out the window and I took it and when ran like little kids to the nearest bistro. Is it wrong for me to hope that our roads crossed for a reason?

We had a hot cup of coffee along with a light conversation. We haven’t talked this way for a very long time, like friends who were just catching up over a hot cup of coffee. I missed this, and admit it or not, I missed us. I paid little attention to what you were saying and more so to the details of your face. You’ve grown much and age was becoming you yet, I felt as if in my heart, I still knew your every detail, every line and every curve. As my mind was preoccupied in every sense of the word, a simple sentence knocked me back to reality. “I love you.”

My thoughts ran a thousand paces and my heart was beating out of my chest. Could this be our second chance? Has Destiny brought us back together, between our scarred hearts and treasured moments? Were we really meant to be together? 

I felt in my heart that this was right. That we were right. You fit me so perfectly and yet circumstance had managed to set us apart. But here we are again, back together. I knew the perfect thing to say and I knew in my heart that this time it will be okay. And sweetly, I replied, with all eagerness and excitement,

  “I love you too.”

- A collaboration between @sophistikatedblogger and @hiraethofinnocence

[theprocast]

We met only yesterday And yet you’ve taken my breath away You swept me right off my feet And made my heart skip three beats We renounce the upholding past and forget the future blasts you made me love the moon took my half too soon. Your eyes they seemed so familiar They shined brighter than a star All it took was one smile at me My heart and soul you filled with glee Never in my life I've seen myself falling into mid-air and getting deaf little did you know I waved my fear stood up and face with love the sound of tears. You seemed so perfect, so real and true That I couldn’t help but fall for you But quick as you came, you soon did flee Were you not the one for me? Come what may- I say in a swift sense you convey as to change will always be there whispers to me everywhere.

“Fleeting Love” by @dentedheart and @hiraethofinnocence

[theprocast]

"Unang pagkakataon na nasilayan, Mga mata'y nakulong sa aking isipan. Tumigil, tumitig at tumilang ulan, Sumama, sumapit, sumilong na kasiyahan.

Pangalawang tingin, ako'y iniimbita. Nasisilaw sa lambing at ganda ng estrelya. Nais hawiin ang haraya sa aking paningin, Ngunit hindi sapat ang tapang at mga panalangin.

Sa malayo ka na lang ba kayang ihagkan? Mananatili na lang tahimik at ika'y pinagmamasdan? Ikatlong pagkakataon ay ipinagkaloob ngunit nanatiling tahimik sa tuwing ika'y malapit.

Sa huling pagkakataon, nais aminin ang totoo. Lihim na pagtingin, ika'y sinisigaw ng aking pagkatao. Alam kong kumplidado, mahirap at malabo, Isusugal ang huling alas… puso'y gustong maging iyo."

“Dito sa aking puso nakakubli, Ang tunay na nararamdaman. At nagpupumiglas sa tuwinang, Ika'y dumaraan.

Paulit ulit na sinasambit, Suntok sa buwan na iyong  mapansin. Kaya ililihim na lamang, Ang aking nararamdaman.

Naisin mang iparating.... Ipahiwatig.... Ipadama.... Ngunit tila ika'y manhid at bulag.

Subalit sa tuwinang nag tatama, Ang ating mga mata. Ito ay nag sasabing, Halika't ako'y yakapin mo ng buong giliw.

Nawa'y ang mga ito, Ay totoo at di panaginip. Kung may paraan lang na marinig mo, Ang aking mga iniisip.

Iyong malalaman ang lahat, Kahit di sinasambit. Ngunit sa panalangin ko nalang, Ibubulong ang lihim na pagtingin.”

Lihim na pagtingin by @baekebyan and @spilledthoughtsofmairi

[theprocast]

It’s either you lose or get lost in the battle where hearts tend to reconcile but still slip off your bare hands.

It’s either you fall in love or fall out of love as if you're just knocking thru the window instead of doors because keys didn't match on the locked holes.

It's either you forget or they forget you wherein oblivion takes place, gradually consuming you making you feel as if you're lost and gone deep within the depths of the past.

It’s either you leave or they leave you in the midst of the trail you forgot to get through and see yourself walking in the subtle aisle—alone, forgotten and stuck.

It's either you live in the past or try move on and look forward for what tomorrow brings— may it be sunshine or rainfall, you can never really tell.

It's always either choosing in between two things where uncertainty lies beneath a fine lining And the ending of our story awaits where the aftermath takes place.

In-betweens by @dentedheart and @sheismnwb