“You know, I always look for him,” Kevin says quietly, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs and he rubs his palms together. It’s an ache in his chest he can’t seem to get rid of. A void in his stomach that never goes away—it doesn’t matter what Kevin is stressed over because it’s there. It’s always there. “Even when I pretend I don’t care, I do. I care so much, I don’t know what to do.”
He sighs and peers over his shoulder to look at Thea sitting beside him. Her leg is crossed over the other, a thoughtful expression on her face as she listens. Kevin, though, didn’t come to her for advice but a peace of mind. To get it off his chest so it doesn’t affect his game on court. He’s not entirely sure if there’s anything to say about this.
Kevin can’t let anything go into ruin. He’d rather die than let that happen because he’d lose them both. It’s never one or the other, not when he wants something that’s his and could never be taken away. The scars on his hand and the two on his cheek made sure to engrave all of that into his soul.
“Are we talking about Neil? Or Andrew?” Thea asks and Kevin looks away. His silence answers her question and she places a tentative hand on his forearm. The touch draws his eyes back to her and he wishes he didn’t. He can’t stand that look in her eye. “It’s both, isn’t it? My god, Kevin.”
- a little something from a wip i’m experimenting with