#cat novels

[candlelightchen]

Unemployed Cat (Part 2)

Today, Employed Cat arrived early for an hour. He walked from the lift door to his company stylishly, took out his employee badge chicly, put it on the card reader in a seemingly natural and unintentional way. 

“Now, the whole company have seen my diligence.” Employed Cat thought. 

Employed Cat entered the empty company, just like a model walked down the catwalk. He met Cleaner Cat around the corner. He showed orchid fingers (a posture of hand in the Peking opera) and shouted excitedly, “Hello! My beautiful lady! It’s ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY!” 

Cleaner Cat stunned and turned her head away. Employed Cat thought she must be too shy to react. 

After walking around his company in chic steps and lovely smiles, Employed Cat finally approached his own seat. Suddenly, a strange wind out of nowhere came and blew him up. The seats ahead and behind of him were all empty. His own seat was like a little oasis in the desert; or a little island in the sea; or a little shaking boat in a storm. But he kept his cool smile and operate the Machine Cat Monster (computer in human’s term) before him. “YEEEHH!” the Machine Cat Monster screamed wildly and struggled violently, in order to escape his control. Employed Cat’s ears sweated. But he was still pressing keyboards to resist. After three hours, Employed Cat was intoxicated into the battle with his Machine Cat Monster. He forgot the coldness and silence around, and completely omitted Office Lady Cat in front of him. 

“You deaf little Employed Cat!” shouted Office Lady Cat, “I have some words to talk to you! Come to my office!” Her shout blew Employed Cat away from his chair and stunned the Machine Cat Monster. All the documents fell down just like snow flowers. 

“She must eat some fish steaks this morning.” Employed Cat thought. He sniffed and followed her into the office....

(an awkward silence)

“Employed Cat, I invited you to come because I want to tell you something IMPORTANT today.” says Office Lady Cat. Her legs crossed; her toes pointed to the windows.

Employed Cat measured his mouth corner with his claws. 45 degree. Perfect. His smile was perfect.

Office Lady Cat gave him an extra-large envelope, “Our company thanks you for your hardworking and support for all these years.”

“THANKS...THANK YOU!?”

“YOU ARE FIRED!!!”

That sentence was like a flash, lightened the round and fluffy face of Employed Cat. He imagined himself turned into a fried golden squid, fired out from a mega-size cannon, leaving some white smoke.

“But...”

“You don’t need to quibble anymore!” Office Lady Cat folded her arms. A cold light emitted from her eyes, “From now on, you are not Employed Cat anymore! You are an Unemployed Cat! Laying beneath the pyramids of all cat rankings!” 

These words exploded beside Employed Cat’s ears. He remembered that Unemployed Cat the Second, who was fired two days ago and used to sit before him. Unemployed Cat the Second had shouted to him indignantly, “Bro! You have to fight until the last second! Until the last second!”  He remembered that Unemployed Cat the Third, who was kind and middle-aged.  Unemployed Cat the Third patted his shoulders before leaving, squeezed his last lamented words from his lung, “Sorry, Employed Cat. I... I have to go... I cannot see the beautiful future of this beautiful place anymore...But you have to hang in there. You have to grit your teeth and hang in there! Because you are our only hope, and our only pride!” 

“Unemployed Cat the Third! Don’t leave us!”

Unemployed Cat the Third shook his head helplessly, “My young cat, the old have to leave and the young have to stay. Every task here will be your responsibility now. I am too old to stay...”

“Don’t leave us! Purrrr!” 

Employed Cat remembered that Unemployed Cat the fourth, who was fired four days ago and had an ink spot on his face. He also remembered Unemployed Cat the fifth, who was fired five days ago and was such a cute and stylish cat. They were all nice buddies to him! 

“Get out!” When Employed Cat was thinking, a shout brought him back to life. He looked at the envelope and his ears folded sadly. 

“Get out! You are no longer related to this company!”

[candlelightchen]

Unemployed Cat (part 3)

After packing his own things, Employed Cat returned home in a gloomy mood, and fell on his bed instantly. After sleeping for 13 hours, he finally plucked his courage and opened his envelope. When reading, he seemed to hear that loud and outrageous voice of Office Lady Cat, and smelled that smell of fish steaks. 

“10 Crimes of Employed Cat

1.      Ate lollipops secretly on XX(a date) at XX (time)

2.      Pretended to be ill and went out secretly to buy that strange and half-naked plastic figure of Juliet Cat (mini version). $500 paid.

3.      Slacked off in the washroom secretly on XX(a date) at XX (time)...

We thank Unemployed Cat the Second, the Third, the Fourth and the Fifth for their trustworthy and detail oral and written accounts!” 

The last sentence drained the last strength of Employed Cat. He fell back to his bed. After the next 13 hours, he saw that plump Witch Cat again, who had big breasts and hips. When he had wiped his sweat by his claws and wanted to shake hands with her, she folded her arms. Cold lights emitted from her eyes, “You dregs of cat! The reason for your existence is to produce pollution and rubbish for the Cat World!” This sentence waked him up and found that it was already early morning. The sky was grey. He went out his home semi-consciously and squint through the words on the doorplate.

“Home for Employed Cat”

He stared at the doorplate for a long time, stumbled back to his house and found a marker. He added an “Un” before the words.

“Home for Unemployed Cat”

In which there was an unemployed cat.

How sad it is.

...

He went back to his room and picked up that shiny and pink “survival kit” on the floor. There were several words in there,  

“Have you met any obstacles? Have you ever been betrayed by other cats? But do not be discouraged! You CAN! Your future is bright and marvelous! The obstacles you now face are just step stones to your success! Go forward! Raise your sails in the mighty ocean!”

Unemployed Cat felt that a wire in his head had been heated up suddenly.

“You get unemployed AGAIN? No problem! It is just that the job does not suits you. The cat world is open and wide. You MUST find a dream job in so many industries!”

“You have to write your cover letter concisely and politely, full of your merits and enthusiasm for the company!” 

Unemployed Cat instantly bought some newspapers and studied the pages for job search. He spent half a day to write a job application letter, another half a day for a CV, and sent the letter in the evening.

But there was no response for 10 days.

Unemployed Cat instantly studied the pages for job search for the second time and found 2 companies. He sent his letters but there was no response.

Unemployed Cat instantly studied the pages for job search for the third time and found 50 companies. He sent his letters and waited for any responses....

The bell had finally rang! Unemployed Cat picked up his phone professionally, and spoke in a sexy, magnetic and soft voice (he had trained this for hundreds of times btw), “This~is~Unemployed~Cat!May I ask...”

“DuDuDuDu... (the phone hung up)” 

Unemployed Cat instantly studied the pages for job search for the fourth time and found 100 companies. Finally there was one company asked him to interview. 

Haha! After the phone call, Unemployed Cat jumped on his bed cheering and shouting. The air around seemed to be sweet, and the grass outside seemed to be surrounded by beautiful flowers. On the day of interview, Unemployed Cat wore shiny suits, a small gentleman’s hat and a rosy bow-tie, kept a perfect 45 degree smile and started his journey.

“Next!” Unemployed Cat entered the room respectfully, with his right claw pressing his chest and left claw pressing his hips, just like that famous Actor Cat taking a curtain call. Of course, he did not forget to close the door after his entering.

“You? Unemployed Cat?” Manager Cat pushed up his sunglasses, gazing through Unemployed Cat’s body.

“Yes!...Um...Yes I am !”

“You! Have you learnt playing yo-yo?”

“What...?Yo-yo!?” Unemployed Cat was surprised and lost. He didn’t know how to answer.

“What! You do not know how to yo-yo?” Manager Cat shook his claws, “NEXT please!”

“Please give me a second. Although I don’t know how to yo-yo, but I can play tops! I have studied very hard in the university, and get the XYZ Intermediate Top Certificate!”

“You don’t even know your situation?” Manager Cat stared at Unemployed Cat just like staring at an Old-fashioned Cat Monster. He signed, “Let me tell you clearly and benevolently. Who wants to play tops in this day and age? Top is a thing one year ago, but now it is only an antique. Now, we are in the era of yo-yos! I found from your application letter that you have some working experiences. I originally guessed that you forgot to write about your yo-yo skills. But I have never thought that you indeed don’t know how to yo-yo! You rubbish cat!”

“But...”

“If you still cannot recognize clearly the current situation, let me make it clearer!” Manager Cat opened a door. Golden rays emitted from within.

“They, are the prides of this company. They are ‘Eleven Yo-yo Tiger and Dragon Grandmasters!” 

Unemployed Cat saw the leftmost cat stretched his neck, raised his claws and arms and acted like a duck; the rightmost cat swung left and right, just like a snake; the topmost cat stepped on others’ shoulders, acted like an eagle; the lowest cat stood on one foot. Eleven cats stacked together, just like transformers swinging nunchakus. There were yo-yos around their heads, arms and feet, emitting “zzzz” sounds just like motors. Countless golden and shiny foil papers were flying in the air. 

“They... they are tied up! We have to save them!” These are the last words Unemployed Cat spoke in the room.

to be continued...

[candlelightchen]

Unemployed Cat (Part 1)

It was a pink and cotton candy-like fog, floating above a pool of water. In the fog, you could barely see a steep clock tower, above which there was a vague sexy figure. She had two fluffy pointed ears and a cat-flirting tail, which was curled around a broom. The more you looked at her, the more you would think... 

“Witch Cat! Juliet Cat who turns into a witch! I miss you!”

“Ding Ding Ding Ding!” 

A loud bell made her tremble. Her beautiful lips moved. Her boom flew like a rocket and pulled her away! 

“My Witch Cat...!!” (Pull out the claws! Drop tears!)

“Ding Ding Ding Ding!” 

It is so noisy! A cat claw stretched out from the bed and pressed.

The tower finally stopped its clamor, but his Witch Cat was gone. 

“My Witch Cat... (I wanna cry)...” 

After a long time, from the dark hole wrapped by the blanket, you can see two shining and round eyes. A cat claw stretched out like a noodle, picked up the clock and then time stopped for two seconds. 

“Meow!? It’s too late!” A horrible scream reverberates across the room. A cat bounced from the bed like a ball. Before his blanket flying in the air, he had already rushed into the wardrobe. 

“Damn, damn!” 

When he finally stood before the mirror, there appeared a clumsy cat with folded ears, scattered hair and twisted tie. He quickly brushed his hair with a comb, tied his tie, measured his mustache using his claws, and curl it around like a donut. Then he picked up his briefcase and went out.

This, is the beginning of a boring and ordinary day of Employed Cat.

Guess not! 

In fact, in this morning, when the sun had not yet risen, a tail had already probed out from the bed and explored the outside world cautiously. After a while, Employed Cat jumped from the bed like a plank, wrenched his head like a screw, opened his arms, and shouted some mysterious lines,

“Hola!!!!

A new day has come!

Every day is a new day!

Be confident! Do strive! Be optimistic!

Hola!!!!!!!!!”

Employed Cat then turned his eyes to a book on the floor. That book was pink, and its four sides were smeared with golden power. On the front page, there was an eye-catching, large-sized sentence:

“The MUST-HAVE to the Workplace! How to survive in the cracks of intrigues, conspiracies and cat fights!”

//

And there was a small-sized sentence below,

“The workplace is a battlefield without smokes from cannons! This book is a survival kit for you! Never lose at the starting line!” 

Employed Cat picked the book up, flipped to the place where a sticker lied, and read the highlighted words:

“ Be confident! Do strive! Be optimistic! ”

It seemed that he had recited them correctly.

Nice! According to the book, this morning was complete, beautiful and full of possibilities for him. 

“ Wash your face. Let the crystal water drops moisturize your fluffy face.” says the book, “Don’t forget to pose confidently before the mirror. Say to yourself in the mirror, ‘I can! I must succeed!’” 

Employed Cat looked at the dumb face in the mirror, and suddenly squeezed out a weird smile. 

“To be a good cat, you have to be a gentleman! To be a gentleman, you have to start with a good smile! Do not giggle; do not chuckle; do not smile evilly. You have to smile naturally and poised. You have to smile symmetrically. You have to remember to close together your front teeth. Your mouth corner should go up to a 45-degree angle. Your lip should be plump and full of tension. Your six beards should scatter like six rays.”

After a series of tests and experiments using protractors, Employed Cat was finally able to show the most perfect and standard smile in the Cat World. 

Nice! “You will be invincible due to your flirting smiles! What awaits you is the bright and magnificent future! And love letters that fall from the sky like snow flowers!” (says the book) 

Employed Cat stared at the words “love letters” for two seconds, then he closed the book like nothing happened.

[unapologeticadult]

A GONZO NEW RELEASE WITH A CAT'S EYE VIEW

A GONZO NEW RELEASE WITH A CAT’S EYE VIEW

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