#cauchyreads

[cauchyfeelings]

Had a dream that I was reading the book I have no mouth and I must scream. So now I must go get it to read. What a random yet specific dream.

[cauchyfeelings]

"tell me something good. like tell me my life turns out to be okay. but i guess you cant huh".

i guess thats what we all want isn't it. to believe our lives end up okay.

in never let me go looking for a possible to see "why she is the way she is" is just like people looking into astrology/personality quizzes to understand themselves. science. religion. relationships. philosophy. literature.

in klara and the sun the mom asking klara if she sees something about her child that will indicate the child will be okay. looking for hope. putting meaning into something else.

we keep externalizing our sense of meaning bc we dont understand what meaning is for ourselves. as if making meaning for ourselves is in conflict with something. as if there is this sense of lack of trust in the meaning we build that needs to be validated by something else.

[cauchyfeelings]

— Epstein 2008

[cauchyfeelings]

Ishiguro you really love breaking hearts huh

[cauchyfeelings]

I typically spend my days focused on code/math stuff (which I still do) but I've been trying to implement more "down time" and I've been reading this visual novel story and it's so good you guys must read it if you can. It's considered "horror" but more so existential rather than your typical "horror" whatever that means.

It's called Z.A.T.O. // I Love the World and Everything In It.

It's on steam and I believe it's free but it's so good so far. Or at least I find it interesting because I love a good psychological/existential/epistemological dive. Plus I think the writing is beautiful lmao.

[cauchyfeelings]

“[…] though they could say a lot about death, obviously did not know, because they were afraid of death and certainly had no idea what needed to be done when people were dying”

— from Anna Karenina, on intellectualism.