Apr 7
i make a post on tumblr dot com. it's an instant success and gains 20 billion notes before my (gorgeous hazel) eyes. the people hold a convention to celebrate my good post and send me a video where they're going absolutely apeshit, hooting and hollering for how clever snd funny i am. then i wake up to water dripping on my face and realize the sound was just the rats skittering around in my cavern again. i sigh and eat a beetle. it tastes less sweet than usual