The distant sound of cars echoed from under the overpass. It was dark, and snow glittered off the side of the road under the moonlight as you, Sal, Larry, and Ashley trudged your way through. The party that Ashley’s parents had been hosting had long since been abandoned in everyone’s plans, as it was made clear that the party was more for the parents than you all. Not that it mattered, the second someone suggested you ditch and celebrate somewhere else everyone had packed up the snacks, snuck a few bottles of wine, and bundled up to make the way down to anywhere else.
The overpass a few blocks down the road seemed like a good place to set up camp. You had just returned a few hours earlier, barely having the time to set your stuff down before hopping in the van with Sal and Larry to head off to Ashley’s parents house. You were tired, damn near exhausted after not having slept very well the previous night, but you wanted to see your friends.
And they had wanted to see you as well. Sal and Larry damn near tackled you to the ground with hugs when you stepped off the elevator into the basement of the apartments. They had been waiting for you all day, so worried you weren’t going to make it with all of the snow that had fallen over the past two weeks.
“It wasn’t the same here for Christmas without you.” Sal had said.
“We tried to watch some cheesy B-movies that had to do with the holidays, but without your zingers it didn’t feel right.” Larry had added. “We still ripped the movie to shreds, but it wasn’t as fun without you.”
Your heart melted at the comments from your two best friends. After two weeks away, having had time to sort out your thoughts, there was a relief in being home with them.
Of course, you still hadn’t had a chance to talk to Larry. But with the New Years party tonight, there wasn’t exactly a good time to bring up how the two of you made out before you left. You needed to talk about it.
‘Soon’ you told yourself.
Despite being the middle of winter, it wasn't as cold as it could have been. Everyone dumped their party bags next to the underpass slope. Ashley pulled out a bottle of wine and uncorked it, taking a sip and passing it to you, who took a sip and passed it to Sal, who reached into his bag and pulled out a crazy straw to stick in it.
It seemed like four lifetimes ago that you two won those at the festival. The memory no longer burned you, no longer made your stomach twist in knots with guilt. Now the site of him using that straw for some underage drinking just made you laugh. Sal turned to hand the bottle to Larry, but he was rifling through his bag.
“The booze is over here, Larry.” you called out.
“I’m looking for something else” he called back over his shoulder, elbow deep into his backpack. “Here it is!” Larry’s arm started shaking and a faint rattling sound echoed through the open tunnel. When he stood up he was holding a can of spray paint. “I’ve been meaning to try out a new medium.”
“Underage drinking, weed, and spray painting.” Ashley shook her head and laughed. “We’re gonna get in so much trouble if we get busted.”
“‘If’ being the key word.” you chimed in, taking the bottle back from Sal and taking a long sip. It wasn’t your first time drinking, your parents had let you have the occasional drink inside the apartment since you were sixteen. If you were honest, you were glad that the cabin never had any signal, as one night you had a bit more than you could reasonably handle and had considered sending some texts to your friends that probably would not have been the smartest. Your parents had only laughed at you slurred words and stumbling, gave you water and an Advil and sent you off to bed.
It was nice to have parents that trusted you and gave a shit.
“We’ve done more questionable things.” said Sal, taking the bottle back from you. You hadn’t even thought about it, but you had used his straw. Oops. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything. “Remember that time we snuck into the principal's office to get back Larry’s confiscated ‘soda’ can?”
“That was not my fault!” Larry called out, sizing up the large empty slab of concrete in front of him. “I thought I grabbed a real soda that morning!”
Ashley laughed. “You were still high! You had detention and me and Sal had to get that fake can back before they realized what it actually was.”
“You saved my ass is what you did. Mom would have murdered me before I even got charged with possession.” Larry stepped forward and started in with the spray paint.
The four of you reminisce about the times of teenage rebellion over the past few years. So many wonderful memories about causing trouble, covering for each other, and fun memories about sneaking around. In a few months, those days would be behind you all. With Sal being the last of the group to turn 18, there were few things left to be sneaky about.
Soon you could do whatever you wanted, within reason, legally.
The bottle was back in your hands as you chatted, now over half gone. There was a pleasant buzz in the back of your head as you took another sip. Not enough to be sloppy, but enough to relax and remove some inhibitions.
“Larry, you want some of this?” You called out as he finished with his painting. It looked like it was a stylized version of his name, but it was hard to tell. Why did so many graffiti tags have to be nearly impossible to read?
“In a sec, I gotta clean my hands,” Larry said, setting down the can. “Then I definitely could use some of that”
“You want some wine too?” you teased with a wink that he couldn’t even see because his back was to you. It felt good to flirt again, even though there was a small part in the back of your brain that said that maybe you should talk to him first before acting like old times.
That piece of you could shut it.
“You’re flirty sober, so it shouldn’t surprise me that you’ll crank it up when you’re buzzed too.” Ashley said before Larry could respond.
“Who am I to deny that my friends are hot?” you giggled through the straw before Sal took it back taking his own sip.
Sal had been quiet for a bit now, and you could have sworn that he had been staring at you tonight. It was hard to tell, as you had stayed on the side of him that had the fake eyeball. But through the night you could feel a gaze on you, and with Larry at the wall and Ashley looking you in the eyes it had to be Sal.
Music started playing. Larry had pulled out a small speaker from his bag and had hooked his phone up to it. Excitement filled you as you grabbed Ashley’s hand and spun her around, demanding that she join you in a dance. She only laughed and shook her head but let you lead her around the area under the bridge in a stumbling and silly dance. You attempted to dip her, but that did not go well for either of you as you both slipped and stumbled to the ground laughing.
“So, does this mean you’ve finally fallen for me, Ash?” you giggled as you both got to your feet, brushing off any dirt.
“If it wasn’t for Jamie, you’d have my heart” she laughed.
You gripped at your shirt above your heart. “Rejected again!” you fake sobbed. “My poor heart, how will I ever recover?”
“I’m sure you’ll live.” she clapped your shoulder, leading you back towards the boys who were jamming out to the music. The two of you hopped in, letting the music take control of your body and mind. The alcohol relaxed you, allowing your brain to calm and focus on just being here with the people you loved.
A familiar hand grasped onto yours and gave you a quick spin. Larry made sure you were kept steady as he spun you around and around and around by the hand. Your mind was swimming and dizzy but there was joy and comfort and safety here. When his hand slipped from yours, you stumbled back, thudding against something.
Sal had caught you, his arms wrapped around your waist and shoulders. He kept you steady as your brain caught up to the rest of you. “Thanks!” you said, panting slightly.
“No problem.” he said, making no move to let go. A few months ago this would have sent you heart pounding and your cheeks red. Okay, if you were being honest there was still a small part of you that was flushed from the gesture as well as the cold. It didn’t help that he just kept... looking at you. His expression was completely unreadable with the mask right then.
“What?” you giggled. “Something on my face?”
Sal shook his head, “No”
“Have Ashley take a picture, or subscribe to my private snapchat” you gave him a good old fashioned over dramatic wink.
“Maybe I should.” Was there... a slight stutter in his voice? Was it the cold? “You look really good. And hot.”
Your eyes widened and he quickly stood you back up fully, the tips of his ears bright red. You were in disbelief at the words. It seemed so unlike him to say that, say things like that. It had to be the wine. You decided, absolutely. He wouldn’t be so cruel as to flirt sincerely after everything, right?
“Why, Salamander Xavier Fisher, are you flirting with me?” You gave him a playful nudge.
The sound of a bag of chips immediately distracted you from the boy in front of you. Ashley and Larry had pulled out the snacks and you were starving. You hurried over to partake in the salty joy, Ashley cracking open a second bottle of wine that she was sharing between herself and Larry.
The four of you passed the bottles around and tore through the snacks like no one’s business. Laughter echoed off the concrete walls as you reminisced about the past year.
“I need to pee.” Sal said, standing up and walking outside of the ove pass to find a private spot. Larry watched him for a moment and stood up.
“Hey, come over here for a second.” Larry said to you, offering a hand. You took it, and he hauled you to your feet before leading you to the opposite side of the bridge. Ashley had pulled out her phone, making sure that no one was looking for all of you at the party you had originally been invited to.
“What’s up?” you asked, but you knew what was up. Being mildly intoxicated might not have been the best move for this conversation, but it was happening anyway.
“I just want to make sure we’re alright.” Larry said, seriously. “After the party we didn’t really get a chance to talk about what happened.”
You couldn’t stop the blush from rising up your cheeks as you remember that night on the couch, sobering you slightly.
“I want us to be alright. That night, I-” you closed your eyes to clear your head, but the fog of the buzz made it a bit difficult. “I don’t regret what happened. But I also don’t think I want to date right now.”
Larry’s shoulder sagged and you panicked, worried that you just broke your friend’s heart. But instead, he let out a relieved laugh. “Oh, thank fuck I was worried.” he admitted. “I didn’t want to lead you on. I don’t regret it either, and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t ever want to do it again.”
“I don’t blame you, I am pretty irresistible.” you tossed your hair with a smirk. “I can’t keep people off me, too hot and charming for my own good, really.”
Larry pulled you into a hug and you wrapped your arms around his middle, relaxing. It felt good knowing that you didn’t screw anything up with him either. Sal had already been so hard to get over, if this had happened with Larry as well you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.
You make a mental note to not try and get with Ashley, that would be overboard. Not that you had any real interest in her, she was taken after all. Dating within the friend group was just too complicated, and your friendships with them were far too important.
You pulled Larry in and gave him a kiss on the cheek before the two of you made your way back towards Ashley and Sal who had rejoined the group. Sal was struggling to get the last dregs of some hand sanitizer out of the bottle.
“Just keep shaking and pumping it, and it’ll come out eventually” you teased. “That’s how it usually works, right?”
Sal just snorted. “Yeah, usually. Something like that.” He finally managed to get a satisfying amount on his hands before tossing the bottle in the grocery bag you all had decided to use for trash. Just because you all were breaking the law, didn’t mean you wanted to litter.
“So how much longer until midnight?” asked Larry.
Ashley checked her phone. “About a half hour”
“Well, I’m just drunk enough that I don’t want to be bringing in the new year underneath a bridge.” Larry decided. “Let’s find somewhere else to be.”
There were no objections from you or the others, though Ashley did stop in front of his tag to snap a picture. “Anything you want to say about this piece?” she asked.
“It’s our names.” Larry said, making everyone immediately turn around to get a closer look. Larry’s name had been obvious, with a stylised L and Y. Looking closer, you could each see that the letters twisted into each of your names as well. You had to be looking for it, looking closer to decipher the twists and turns of the paint but there you were- there you all were.
“Holy shit.” Sal breathed. “How long have you been working on that?”
“A few months now.” Larry shrugged. “I figured if I was gonna tag something, I wanted it to be something that would last as long as the art itself, so I picked us.”
“That’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said.” said Ashley as she looked over the tag one more time.
“That’s really fucking incredible.” You added. “You should be proud of yourself.”
“Oh don’t worry, I am.” he laughed. “Think of it as my holiday present to you guys.”
“Oh shit, presents!” you groaned. “I knew I was forgetting something. I have souvenirs for everyone back at home that I totally forgot about.”
Sal reached a hand out to rest it on your shoulder. “It’s okay.” he reassured you. “You being here in time for the new year is enough for us.”
There it was, that unreadable look in his eye again. The darkness of the overpass combined with his prosthetic was giving him... something. Fuck, you might have had a bit too much wine tonight. You were hardly thinking straight now, and it didn’t help that Sal’s good eye was shining with the reflection of the snow which contrasted with the intensity of the way he was looking at you, or the way his hair was a silvery blue in the moonlight-
“Ah.... thank you. Please excuse me.” you said, walking off to a nearby snowbank, grabbing a chunk of snow and pressing your warmed face against it.
“That’s where I peed.” Sal called out in a deadpan voice.
You replied with a shriek and immediately chucked it at him as he laughed and dodged. “I’m kidding!” he yelled as you threw another chunk of snow at him.
“Salvador Elizabeth Fisher, I’m gonna shove this snow down your throat- and not in a sexy way!” you laughed, making your way back over to him. Larry and Ashley were busy packing up your goodies for the night and were wrapped up in their own conversation now, talking shop about art and photography probably.
Sal moved closer to you, your shoulders touching. “I thought everything you did was sexy.” he laughed. It was a different sort of laugh. Genuine, playful, but maybe a bit lower? He was tugging at his gloves, as if he couldn’t decide to keep them on or take them off. His ears were red, but it was so cold out.
“You... are drunk” you decided, nudging him. “Oh shit, all those meds you’re on- are you even allowed to be drinking?” Worry suddenly shot through you.
“Not really.” His shoulders relaxed slightly. “Pretty much every medication says to not mix with alcohol. I’ll be fine though, I didn’t drink a lot and it just means I can get drunk for cheaper. You were the one hogging the bottle.”
“You expect me to control myself with a bottle and a crazy straw?” you laughed. “Clearly, you don’t know me.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
Before you could respond to that very cryptic sentence, Larry and Ashley returned and handed you each a bag.
“Larry has decided that we are going to the park.” Ashley said.
“It’s not like there’s a lot of places we can hang out at this late at night.” Larry shrugged. “I figured it’d be better than finishing off the night here or at the other party.”
“No objections here.” Sal said, looking at you.
There was a question in your eyes, but Sal’s didn’t answer yours. “Yeah, yeah I’m good to go to the park.” you managed, turning to Ashley and Larry.
It wasn’t a long trek to the park. You walked down past Ashley’s house again where you all stopped to pee, make a polite appearance, and drop off your trash. Then it was another few blocks to an empty playground, where you all immediately climbed up to settle in for the next ten minutes.
“So, what do you want to do next year?” Sal asked the group while looking at you.
You thought about it. “I’m not sure. Honestly, I’m so used to moving around that I didn’t think I’d be here this long.” you admitted. “My parents want me to go to college next year, but I’m thinking of maybe a trade school instead.”
“I’m applying for art school.” Ashley piped in. “I’ve been working on my portfolio all semester, and I have a few schools in mind.”
“Mom wants me to keep going to school, but I doubt we’d have the money for it, and scholarships are out with my grades.” sighed Larry. “I’m happy to just get my diploma and get to work somewhere.”
“I haven’t decided what I want to do either.” Sal said. “I’m probably just going to try and find a job too. If anyone will hire me that is.”
“I’d hire you.” you said. “Don’t know what I’d hire you for, but I’d hire you.”
He snorted. “I’ll play you guitar every day and get you snacks.”
“You’re hired. Immediately. When can you start?”
Sal responded by pulling out a bag of cookies and handing it to you.
“Motherfucker, are you trying to make me fall in love or something?” Again?! You accepted the bag, shoving a cookie into your mouth. Sal said something that you couldn't quite catch over the crunching of the snack and the swimming feeling in your head.
Talk continued between the 4 of you, with Ashley keeping an eye on the time. At some point you stopped responding, closing your eyes to just take in the night and the chill and the warmth of those you loved.
You felt Sal's warmth next to you as Larry began a countdown. Your eyes remained closed, breathing steady. Each second that counted down to your midnight weighing on you. Soon you'd be back home in bed and you'll be able to rest before school starts. You though of what was to come next; spring break, prom, graduation, and then the final summer vacation.
It was exciting to think about.
"3"
You never want to forget nights like this.
"2"
With the friends that stood by you, stayed with you, and never made you feel unwanted.
"1" Click.
Something pressed against your cheek. It was soft, warm, and pleasant. So much so that you didn't open your eyes until it pulled away. Slowly you opened your eyes and turned just in time to see Sal readjusting the prosthetic to his face. from even under the light of the full moon you could see the misshapen jawline as he pressed everything back in place.
"Happy new year" Sal said, taking your hand. You smiled at him as Larry started blasting music again, echoing the cheers of distant parties and the fireworks that now were littering the skies.
#Freshwater #mussel ID and sampling workshop fun with #CBU #nature #molluscs #bivalves #ecology https://www.instagram.com/p/BnEhLWFAyGc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=epms6opmzaa2
I got Sally Face for Switch so that I can break my heart all over again. Maybe I’ll be inspired to write another chapter of Can’t Be Unseen, or maybe I’ll hate the ending all over again and never write for it.
#project hail mary
#lana del rey
