IT WAS DARK. like it always had been since his rise from the ashes. it knew him. held him close.
he couldn’t quite remember how he got here, and this wasn’t his alley; no mindless chatter over the fire burning in a drum, no “ hey al ” or “ you okay, al? ”-– just the same smell and grime, different scenery. it was better without all the noise anyway, better without the concern, and better without the fear he reaped from simply being. maybe he could finally get that silence he’d yearned for all this time, just some goddamn peace and quiet to piece together his thoughts, his memories… and be alone with them.
but each time he dared to let his guard down, even for just a moment, the ghosts would gather. fragments would clash and flashes of what had been assailed him. shreds of the past, disconnected, told a story of a man who was, and now no longer.
a wedding, the bells.
THE THICK AND UNRELENTING BUSH KNEELING TO THE SWING OF HIS MACHETE.
her birthday– he’d given her a dog.
THE STENCH OF BLOOD FILLING HIS NOSTRILS. HE WAS COVERED IN IT.
and then it all went up in flames.
al simmons erupted from his reminiscence with a roar, ragged of a dead throat, the dark still with him. he snared a trash can, brimming with the waste of its neighbouring establishments, and hurled it toward the street, with no regard for whomever may be passing. it slammed into the pavement with a metallic CRASH, spilling its contents and rolling onto the road. he couldn’t hear the surprised shouts lighting up crimson lane over the sound of his own grief, and beneath its weight did he drop to his knees, that shroud of red falling about him limply.
the whole “ pain lets you know you’re alive ” spiel was bullshit– last he checked, he was dead, and pain still paid its regular visits like an old friend.