orphi?
orpheus, even when i feel as if i don’t know you anymore (there’s a whole world between us and there will be no translation unless i too win), i love you the most. we’re further away than ever, but you’ll see we’ll be closer soon, if everything works out. fuck. i think you ruined me. i think i could have died gladly in the 118th if you gave me a heads-up. i would have been happy to die for you. this way, for a stranger? i might not rest so peacefully. anyway, i’m trying to win. for you, partly. if i die, it’s no tragedy for me. for the first time, you’d miss me more than i miss you. which is the only consequence i don’t think i can handle. you make me want to punch a wall into demolition. you think it’s me who fucked everything up, but it’s really a mix between the two of us. but i don’t blame you unless you blame me.















