Don't chase the rabbit - Cecil
you wake up and at first you think you didn't because it's just as black as it was before the curtains are closed blocking out the starlight blocking out the moonlight blocking out the bulb of a streetlamp that hovers like the ghost of a dead moon above the streetyou wake up and you are terrified because you think that maybe you are
trapped in that one dark dream where you are buried you are dead like the plants you tried to grow (you didn't mean to kill them you killed them by mistake) and you are in a hole that's slimy to touch, the edges of the muddy walls come away when you touch them and you slide back down into your grave and you can't remember that your name is Kevin you can't remember that you are fourteen years old (fourteen is too old to be scared of the dark) and your knees are skinned from falling so much but you're not dead and you have to remember that that you are not dead even though maybe you are an unclean thing that god hates and the pastor said to go and never come back (unclean things like you can pollute the church) you are not dead yetbut when it's so dark and you feel as if you are something very small that has been sealed inside an envelope you forget things and you reach over to turn on the light that you left turned on so this wouldn't happen and you clickclickclickclickclick clickclickclickclickclickclickclick
click
click
click
clickthe switch back and forth, waiting for the lamp to turn on and when it doesn't you get up, cold floor on cold feet and go try to turn on the light clickclickclick and that one's out too and you think maybe you're in a different dark place that's still a nightmare so you go over and open the curtains and all the stars are waiting there and
you are alive you're alive you're alive.